My Mother Told Me; "I Was Dead To Her".

I called my mother today to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  Immediately, upon hearing my voice, she started screaming at me.  She told me she hated my upbeat tone and was convinced I was trying to pull something over on her.  She told me that I had no right putting my husband and children before her and since I did, she said to pretend she and my father were already dead, because I was dead to her.  I told her I was just calling her to wish her a happy day and she hung up on me.

Now obviously there is a lot of history before this call.  I am 49 years old and my mother still wants to hit me like a child, so I stay away.  I keep my children away from her, because of her abusive nature.  My husband told me not to call today, but I still have that "she's my mom" mentality.  I don't cry anymore, as I outgrew this about a decade ago, but we are dead????

I don't know how some of us wind up with bad moms, it makes no sense to me.  I could NEVER hate my children and I don't know how that can even be possible for a mother.  I will never understand this....

Thank you for reading and Happy Mother's Day to all you good mothers out there!!!!
Itsnotmyfaultudontloveme Itsnotmyfaultudontloveme
3 Responses May 14, 2012

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, you are not alone. There are a lot of us out here who deal with a less than motherly mother. I will never understand the why of it either. It just is. The only thing we can do is be the mothers to our children that we never had.

some people deserve to be mothers some dont. she does not know how to love or repect you for the person you are dont put yourself through this torture again.

She makes it easy to hate her, getting so vocally violent. Once I refused to play her game, my mom simply made excuses to get off the phone as soon as possible. The first thing she would ask would be, 'why are you calling?"<br />
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This is the first mother's day after her death. Good riddance.