**** You

I HATE MY MOTHER
shes the biggest ***** i have ever met. she criticizes EVERYTHING i do and has the temper of a raging bull, EVERTHING. she so obviously favors my brother but denies it and he does as well even though its so obvious. Hes worked at worse places as me and has done drugs and gets drunk and etc but she turns the blind eye for all of them. ITS RIDICULOUS. i ******* hate her and I dont take back anything I have said about her. I dont even care if she dies. Actually, I would be the happiest person ever if she does to be honest. 

She talks behind my back and doesnt praise anything i do. Not the fact that i go to a good college, have a scholarship, worked at her workplace, live at home, never go out and do bad stuff, and etc, she hasnt praised me on any of that. I cant even answer back to her when she yells at me. She holds grudges against me and always tries to use stuff I have said in the past against me even though she gets them all wrong. She never gets off my back about anything and even has the audacity to criticize the nice things i do for her.
I just absolutely hate my parents.

In middle school, she criticized my friends, saying they were all bad influences even though I loved spending time with them. so early on, I already prreferred them to her because they actually liked me and never made fun of me or anything.But the ***** is a different story. She would hate on my friends, get mad if i get bad grades and etc. I tried to treat her like a friend by telling her stories about my daily life but that just made things worse cause she would ONLY ONLY remember the bad stuff. 

Then when I went to one of the best high schools in NYC, she still continued to be a priss about everything. I was just being a normal teenager, hanging out with friends and what not. But little things like wanting to sleepover and getting EAR piercings just enraged her. she would claim that FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER AND THAT MY BEST FRIEND SHOULD BE MY BROTHER. I dont live in the philippines and I am in no way "traditional" like she is so I hated those ridiculously stupid rants that made no ******* sense at all. One arguement would be about piercings and then somehow it would be about not appreciating her.
And I cant even answer back because she says she will kick me out of the house, stop paying my tuition and etc.
Ever since I was young, even times when I cried cause i was like 6, she would yell at me and tell me to leave the house, which I obviously couldnt cause she had all my red envelopes and loose cash and I had no friends or relatives in the area.

I hate that she only says I DID THIS....ETC, YOU SHOULD BE DOING THE SAME. and im thinking ***** WE R NOT IN THE SAME GENERATION AND LOOK AT YOUR ******* NIECES AND NEPHEWS IN THE ****** PHILIPPINES, WERE THEY EVEN WORKING WHEN THEY GOING TO COLLEGE???? OR EVEN IN HIGHSCHOOL?? and i couldnt bring in examples cause she would just say STOP COMPARING YOURSELF, YOURE IN DIFF ENVIRONMENTS 
and again, okay so you grew up in the philippines and Im growing up here in the USA. SEE THE ******* DIFFERENCE YOU *****.
if you wanted a nice traditional conservative ******* family, you shouldve stayed in that shittown where you grew up. trust me, youd be doing me a favor by not being my mother. I even wish u put me up for adoption cause I hate living with you. Nothing positive has come out of our "relationship" NOTHING 
and I am glad you see that because
I hate that youre my mother
I hate that you cant appreciate me
I hate that you love everything my brother does and only criticize him when hes not home and then when I tell him what you say, you get mad at me even though he tells you that its YOUR ******* FAULT for not telling him directly.
i hate that youre so ******* traditional and opinionated
I hate that you hate all my friends
I hate that you hate everything I do
BUT MOST OF ALL, I HATE THAT YOU CANT LET ME LIVE MY OWN LIFE.
In america, we do things differently. so if you want good obedient sons of a *******, move back to the philippines and bring that useless *** husband of yours cause hes so ******* stupid.

i hate that my father never defends him even though he is the one i turn too. Its especially painful when people you trust cant take your side when you need them most.
Thank god I have my brother though, I dont know what I would do if I didnt.
and my cousin

I kinda look up to my cousin. hes the same age as me but his mother had the same exact bitchy personality as my mother, basically they are BEST FRIENDS
he ignores her and has gotten used to scolding him. He was lucky enough to go to rutgers and to dorm away instead of coming home everything day. Now he doesnt do **** with life and just stays home playing videogames.
if i did that, I would be shot dead.

I wish dying werent so painful. I would love to just throw myself out a window so I wont have to live with the pieces of ***** for the next idk how many years.

Im sorry im rambling but I just want to get everything out. it feels so much better t do this than to leave it in.

Everytime I see my friends spending time with their mothers or talking abt how much they love them, I kinda get jealous...like how do you treat your mother as a friend? i do that and she uses the information/stories i tell her against me...

I truly just hate the restaurant they own. ive been going there after school everyday SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL. THATS MORE THAN 12 YEARS!
so you ask me why i hate the place? BECAUSE I PRACTICALLY ******* GREW UP THERE...not at a park...or at home...or with friends...BUT AT THE ******* RESTAURANT THAT IS NOT A PLACE FOR KIDS.
-Im so ****** awkward in public and anti social and you blame that on me? MAYBE YOURE PARTIALLY TO BLAME! u dont let me hang out with friends because appanrlty time has to spent with family 24/7. WE DONT EVEN DO **** WHEN WE RE ALL TOGETHER. YOU JUST WATCH YOUR STUPID KOREAN DRAMA. 
-I find it hard to make friends or even to open up to people because I assume they dont want to hear my life story because YOU always have to interrupt me whenever I want to tell you about my day. Cutting into my sentences and ignoring my comments make me feel like ****, okay! it makes me feel like I dont exist and that reflects on how I interact with other people. 

YOU TELL ME YOU HATE THAT IM DOING AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP INSTEAD OF WORKING AT THE RESTAURANT. I HAVE A RATIONAL EXPLANATION THAT YOU JUST REFUSE TO COMPREHEND IN THAT NARROW MINDED BRAIN OF YOURS.
i need the experience and the recommendation AND TO SOCIALIZE WITH PEOPLE MY AGE. NOT MIDDLEAGED OLD GUYS .AND EVVN IN THE FUTURE WHEN I WANT A BETTER JOB. YOU ARE NOT A ******* PERSON I CAN HAVE TO RECOMMND ME/I CANT PUT U DOWN AS A REFERENCE BECAUSE YOU ARE (sad to say) related to me. WHAT PART OF THT DONT YOU ******* UNDERSTAND. YOUVE BEEN WORKING AT THIS FAMILY BUSINESS FOR SO LONG, YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND AN INTERNSHIP/JOB.
- I HAVE TRIED TO FIND A GOOD PAYING INTERNSHP but I cant interview well. Yes i blame myself but I also blame you for not letting go out there and explore/job hunt myself. EVERYTHING HAS TO BE FAMILY THIS AND FAMILY THAT. 
WELL **** THAT. 
IVE HAD ENOUGH OF IT
I WISH I CAN JUST MOVE AWAY
I CANT DEAL WITH HER BITCHINESS ANYMORE
ONCE I MOVE OUT (i hope that happens soon)
I WILL NEVER KEEP IN CONTACT WITH YOU AGAIN
I DO NOT WANT MY KIDS AROUND YOU
YOU R A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE
AND A GREAT HYPOCRITE


whoahow whoahow
18-21
May 16, 2012