I Hate My Hoarding Mother.

My mom’s a hoarder.

She has an amazing job, is a workoholic, and in her spare time she spends all her money shopping. Not like any of her nice clothes see the light of day. Throughout my childhood, I'd spend days cleaning the house only to have her pull out all the garbage from the garbage bags and ruin all my hard work. I'd weep for hours thinking I almost made some progress. Looking back, I WISH my house still looked like that. The house went from disorganized and cluttered to a dirty disgusting garbage hole. Instead of washing dishes, she buys new ones. Collectibles.... cherished teddies, beanie babies, spoons, coins. Old receipts, old paperwork, old newspapers, magazines from 1988!! There are little pathways to navigate around. Every meal we eat is fast food. We now have to go to the main water switch to turn on the water every time we want to shower, flush the toilet, brush our teeth, etc, the floors are dirty, and the bathroom shower head is broken so we have to take baths in the dirty tub. The basement smells like mold. My brother is developing a respiratory problem. The outside of my house which used to be a beautiful well kept garden is now an untouched jungle. I offered to help her. She screams when I throw something of hers out. She doesn't want help. She thinks I'm the one with the problem. It's her house... she can do what she wants with it.

For the passed 20 years I've had to hear her say "You're just like your dad, you're a good for nothing loser" "why don't you go live with your dad and you can be a **** up just like him"...."you're a deadbeat". She also goes on long rants and screams in my face while I sit there and cry. She never apologizes. I wouldn't expect her to. I've actually never had a conversation more than 15 minutes with her.

I found my escape, I went away to school. I just graduated from university and came home but I have just learned that I am now cut off completely financially. I pay for everything on my own (cell phone, car repairs for my ****** car, gas, rent, student loans) except my car insurance. We got in a fight because I wanted her help with paying my car insurance. I was going to give up the car but now I need it for my new job. It's sad to see her come home with bags of clothes that she'll never wear and know that if she cut back on shopping a bit she could help me out until I figure things out on my own.

I'm curious to know your thoughts...