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A Mother's Love

 

I beseech your pardon

For being your burden

You bear the right to extinguish my life

As this is your divine right

Do I remind you of past transgressions?

Of that tumultuous night of unbridled passion

You proclaim with pride you surpass in beauty manifolds than I

Your displeasure and shame

And for that you justify your claim

To debase, till I cease to circumvent

“Thou art a destined harlot

Certain to be a destitute, most choleric to my disposition

For I curse thee in every breath”

Ears and heart hardened from the volley of beatings and words

And for that I beseech your pardon still

******** naked in front of father

Flesh exposed and vulnerable

Spit full of hatred and cruelty, as I am not worthy of your affections

So I wonder this moment what is my life

And should I make the final turn to the knife.

 

This is a poem I wrote after, my mom announced that I shall be wed off at the end of this year, and I started to cry, she commenced to berate me.

This felt almost cathartic to write it all down. I can't even feign to "love her", I really feel so much contempt towards her and constantly fear that I may kill her.

umathena umathena 18-21, F 18 Responses Apr 21, 2007

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I feel all of you pain and I fantasize of matricide but the only reason I dont do it is cuz 1. I cant harm a life 2. I dont want to do a life sentence-

And here I was thinking I was the crazy one wanting to kill my own mother. I feel you 100% I remember when I was a child my dad would get so pissed and say horrible things like "I just want to shoot that ***** in the head" now I know why.

Wow, your words are beautiful.

your are a beautiful poet and a beautiful person. this poem gave me shivers, it is so well written. bravo, stay strong love

You are amazing. Truly.

Don't kill her, just prove to her that you're better of without her. When you're successful it's the best revenge out there. You can do it, goodluck. Your poem was amazing btw!!

You are one heck of a writer!

love your words . you are so strong . dont hate her and dont kill her . she is not worthy of you . can u just move away and start new ? i know its alot to ask . but i did it 30 years ago and it was the best thing i ever ever ever did. if u need to talk feel free to to talk to me <br />
god bless and may he shine on you xxx

Your poem speaks volumes to me. I hate my mother too. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your life gets so much better.

Your poem speaks volumes to me. I hate my mother too. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your life gets so much better.

Please don't let your mom destroy your life. She can only wound you, but don' t let her destroy you. The beauty of you poem clearly shows a talented person. Use it. I know what it's like to want to kill someone, but rage will pass quicker than the stain on the hands that kill. God bless you.

Don't kill her. Don't ruin your own life over someone who is not worth your time. I don't know what you mean by wed off. Is this an arranged marriage thing?

.........That the person belongs somewhere else than with her, and need to find another home because this is something the mother always denied the child...belonging. It is poetic language!

Buzzard... I just wanted to say... being Roman Catholic does not mean you must love your parents. the commandment says to "honor" your parents, which means you should show them the respect that is due them as parents and elders. love is not demanded or required. I'm a RC as well and love is not something I tend to feel towards my mother.

I suggest you look into the psychology of cults and religion...RCism is extremely good at holding otherwise intelligent,moral people and making them do awful or at least questionable things to others or ususally themselves...All religion is a big lie.You are not being watched and the god your faith depicts is impossible - he cannot exist. Agnosticism is growing massively at the moment and is a far healthier way of living .RCism is so damaging psychologically and emotionally.A rational approach will help you deal with your mother issue better....religion will lie to you and damage you more.

You have gotten a lot of mixed messages. It seems. <br />
r

Im seriously wondering if my mother even gives a **** about me or she would rather see me do bad in hell. I love god but my mother kinda messes me up since im forced to love my parents in roman catholic. im confused! I promise I do love god though!

Im seriously wondering if my mother even gives a **** about me or she would rather see me do bad in hell. I love god but my mother kinda messes me up since im forced to love my parents in roman catholic. im confused! I promise I do love god though!

I give this a high 5! Very emotional and woderful writing! I FELT your hatred. H***, I hated your mom too! I feel sorry for you both though. I have an excellent relationship with my mom. You're both missing out on a very special bond!