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Barely Fed Or Dressed Me

So my mom had six children. All are spaced two years apart , except me, Im just a year younger than her first born. So obviously I was an accident and with her already having a baby barely a year old I was just a pain in the ***. Consequently we never bonded. And bonding is not something to be taken lightly. It has life-long consequences for the child. It makes it difficult to ever trust anyone. That may sound like a bit of hyperbole but if you're interested google infant bonding sometime.
But the lack of bonding isn't really why I hate my mother ( really I should say "parents" because dad really didn't seem to care too much for me either) , its because they never fed me very well. The amount of food I had access to was so minimal- I remember there hardly being anything to eat. Now my parents weren't poor, money was available but it just wasn't spent on me. I was so malnurished all my ribs would stick out like someone suffering from starvation.
Even today my bones are like that of a nine year old girl and Im a 50 something male. I take notice of other mens wrist size and never see anyone with such poor development. Not poor people, sick people , no one. And its not genetic- my brothers have normal bone structure.
And to add insult to injury I was never given lunch money for school ( again , not eating during my growing years) so naturally I spent my lunch hour either alone or with some other outcast who couldn't go to the cafeteria ( where social skills are honed ).
And while Im on the subject-they never bought me clothes, maybe with the exception of a shirt for Christmas or some ****. A shirt is something you're supposed to buy a kid year round- not give in lieu of a present . So I remember wearing the same raggety shirt to school for days on end. Mom didn't care- as long as I was out of the house so she could watch the soaps.
So that's my memory of them- never really giving a crap about me. Really couldn't care less if I developed physically or academically or socially. So if I ever get a call from one of my siblings asking for financial help in taking care of them in their old age, you can just bet they're not getting one thin dime from me. They can shove it.
Bellcounty1 Bellcounty1 51-55, M 1 Response Jul 10, 2012

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I could relate to so much of your story regarding the nature of your mother, and yet, I feel your's was a much harsher childhood than my own. Not even having a father that cares is that much harder.