Overveiw I Hate My Mom, Advice Needed*please excuse any and all grammer errors*
i didnt always hate my mom when we were younger and i was very naive we were bestfriends. i was 8 years old and smoking pot. by the age of ten i was drinking, age 12, cigarrets, age 13 drinking had become very heavy and i realized i had to stop. I'm 14 in january 2013 ill be completly sober for a whole year.
I didnt start fighting with my mom till i stopped doing drugs. she spends all the house money on weed that my 19 year old sister works her *** off for at her job when she could be going to college. when she's not smoking weed or drinking she's yelling,crying or hitting me or my twin brother. she's so lazy and weak i'm disgusted by the sight of her. i'll be a freshman this year and i have a lot of band practices she says i'll have to walk to probably all of them, including physical therapy for my back.
words can't describe how little i feel for her. i have NO respect for her. i belive everything happens for a reason, my mom was drugged and basically raped by 3 men so i dont know my dad and she tells me im a mistake every day and talks about how she shouldve aborted me when she had the chance.
and i dont belive her rape story its changed so much over every time she's told it, she's always looking for self pity. she quit nursing school for weed. she is bipolar and we cant make eye contact because i have some kind of "glare" on my face? i try to hide it but there is so much hate pouring out of me i guess. i would leave but my nana is just as undependable as her.
my mom will yell at me and then wanna be my bestfriend. i cant do that! and i hate how much of me i see in her, what if i become her?!
the thing i hate the absolute most is when she calls me "princess" in a mocking voice
im clearly not a princess i have to clean filthy houses for money for school clothes, im white but everyone knows my ghetto mom, and lately i want to kill myself all the time.
there is a lot more and probably will be more in the years to come.
i know it could be worse but i guess i'm weak and need a little help through it.
just please give me some good advice that'll help me make it through these last few years.