Controlling, Narcissistic, & Completely Out Of Her MindI do not remember a single time that I have ever had a positive emotion concerning my mother. My whole life, she was a helicopter. I couldn't do a single stinking thing without her getting involved in the activity in some way. When I started school, she became the room mother, then moved up to being my teacher when I hit junior high. When I went to high school, she left my old school and began teaching at my new school. I was accepted into college in Oklahoma, and she forced me to stay in town and go to a local Christian college where she knew every bloody professor and staff member. She created an email ring with all of them so she could be in constant communication.
When I was old enough to get a cell phone, she called it every hour on the hour to "check up" on me, and if I didn't answer, it was not uncommon for her to call the school and have them page me over the intercom to come to the office and call her. I was in class, for Chrissake!
When I was old enough to drive, she demanded I call every time I left one place, and again when I arrived at my destination. The ONE TIME I forgot to do so, she sneaked into my room while I was napping and took my keys away.
On more than one occasion, when I would lock my door to get away from her, she would either call a locksmith, or even take the door off its hinges.
She would buy my clothes for me, but then when I put them on she'd tell me I looked fat, trashy, or ugly. She dictated my haircuts, the style of my glasses (because she wouldn't allow me to have contacts), and the color of the bands on my braces.
Now that I have my own apartment, she has taken my keys (again, while I was napping) and made a copy of my apartment key so she can just pop in whenever she's bored or feeling nosy. Once, when she found a condom in my bedside cabinet (when she was there while I wasn't even home), she called a meeting with me and the pastor from her church. I'm not sure who was more mortified- me, or the pastor.
I have tried to keep up some twisted form of a relationship with her, because she's my mom and I feel like I should at least make the effort, but every attempt to contact her is met with "let me (fill in the blank) for you!" and then once whatever it is has been done (with the least amount of effort humanly possible), it's, "I do (blank) for you and I never get a thank you or any kind of acknowledgement!" And I'm sitting here going, "The only thing you have ever done for me was land me in 6 years of therapy with doctors whom YOU manipulate. I owe you NOTHING."
I'm sick and tired of her crap, and I'm done making any effort to salvage what pitiful excuse for a relationship we may have.
DresdenDoll6873 22-25, F 1 Response 0 Aug 6, 2012