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I Seriously Can't Anymore.

Okay so let me say what I need to. Today happened one of the worst fights with my mother. I seriously can not ******* stand her anymore. I feel like ******* dying instead of being with her. Today my mom was criticizing the way I dress. It wasn't even that serious it was a crop too & sandals & she kept ******* criticizing me do I told her to "be quiet" and when we got into the car she said to me don't ever say that to me again. & I go to her okay then don't ******* call me a **** & don't ever say **** like that to me. My mom says I'm a ***** and I'm stupid and everyone talks **** about me. That I give everyone reason to talk about me because of the way I talk and the way I supposedly dress. There are girls who are x10 worse than I am. There are girls who wear things that reveal way too much and I don't even dress like that the most I reveal is my belly button. well whatever then my mom goes this is why everyone talks so much **** about you. I told her I didn't care that I don't cre what the **** people have to say about me and he goes well society does. And I HATE how she make me look like the worst child ever. I started crying to the point where my head was throbbing and my head was killing me. She said that I act like I want life to be the way I want it. No I don't. I DON'T drink or smoke and I don't even party. So wtf and I try to please her ******* *** by getting a high gpa and good grades but I guess that isn't good enough for her but that's cool though right? And my mom said that she doesn't even understand how I am. She assumes SO much **** and then tells me that she knows m. Like if she's some ******* detective. I got so pissed. But I can't understand or even fathom the fact that she treats me that certain way. I'm tired and I even told her that I hated her today. She has some special sort of ******* hatred for me. And she told me she's frustrated with life. Okay ***** I'm SO SORRY you didn't about to **** hit you don't have to take it out on me like you seriously don't. I don't bother her but it's like she lives to pick me. Maybe to you guys I sound like a teenager who acts like she knows everything but in reality I dont. I'm just trying to make her understand and then the funny thing is that she says she's trying to boost my self esteem. How do you expect to booth my self esteem when you're telling me I'm a ***** or a **** or some vagrant? HOW? Look guys I'm asking anyone to give me advice on how to change this relationship before I move out. I plan to move out to Tampa while living at a dorm in The university of Tampa. I need to fix this because I swear I'm on the verge of self harming.
dancerx3 dancerx3 16-17, F Aug 11, 2012

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