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I Hate My Mom Because She Hated Me Since I Was Little

I never knew my real mom she left when I was three months old and met my current mom when I was three. To the outside world she plays the sweet and caring mom but to me and my sister she's a childish, spoiled ***** who seems to want to be like my sister and hates me. I'm three years younger then my sister, I'm 22 now and I'm fed up and don't know what to do. When I was little she was addicted to melt and would freak and bite and headbutt me when she came down. She never does house work but will be the first to take the credit with my dad when me and my sis clean. She freaks and yells if i talk to my blood father and sis cuz she claims I'm trying to take them away den her. When really I'm just talking about everyday stuff. I use to be overweight when i was a teenager and shes always been and now that i lost 84 pounds she gets drunk and hits me saying that Im ***** because I'm skinny and that she hates me for it. She gets drunk everynight and abuses pills. I can't seem to walk by her without her saying im doing something to make her mad or sad. She cries at everything and uses it to get my dad to her side.
I live at home because I can't afford to pay for school and a place and she just lays around and complains about taking care of my 91 year grandmother- who she doesnt take care of either, its me. All i ever wanted was a mom and I do everything I can to make her like me but it seems no matter I do she hates me, either for my weight loss or for imagery things I may do. She's beyond childish. She gets like a little kid when she doesn't get what she wants.
I know my grandparents gave her everything she wanted and that has left her a horrible human being. For years I've tried to cling on the dream that she will stop drinking and start liking me and not hating me for no reason but after many years of failure I've come to find that she is just a over grown child that hates me and even though it made me cry many times Ive realized I hate her too. She never was a mom, I've had to raise myself since my dad isnt much of a dad either and you make someone like you, no matter how much you want it. Even though I've come to terms that she won't ever like me what i can't figure out is how to live in peace until I can move out. I don't want to leave my grandma without care because I know my mom won't. So I'm stuck but I feel alot better now that I don't carter to her anymore, she hates it but who cares. I'm tried of being a door mat for her. She needs to grow up and if she can't then I won't be there to cuddle her when she's down just like how she wasn't there for me.
tompettyfan21 tompettyfan21 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2012

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I understand what you are going through. My real mother never cared about me and my step mother was jealous of me because she dropped out of school when she was in 6th grade and I never dropped out. Not to mention that she had no friends and I had a lot. My friends parents helped me raise myself. You would think I would be spoiled because between my step mothers kids and adopted fathers son and myself I was the only girl out of 6 kids but I ended up being the only one who was the door mat and got crapped on. I have learned to let go of the past and let God. I am 33 years old now and just about 2 years ago I finally let go of all the anger and forgive everyone that has hurt me in the past.<br />
If you can prove that you are the best person to take care of your grandmother you may be able to get help from the government for housing, education and help taking care of her. It might make a lot of people angry with you but you may just need to way your options on what is best for you and your grandmother. <br />
Good luck to you and your grandmother. If you need to vent my ears are always open or even just someone to talk to I am here.<br />
God bless you and everything you do.

Wow, that has to be the nicest thing anybody has said and offered to me. Thank you every much.

Read my story. It is under yours. Everyone needs someone to talk to that understands.