Im Oficially Done!

I am done Im done! Now this b***h is gonna come in my room and yell at me again over what you ask? I woke up this morning already knowing that its gonna be a bad day I woke up and decided to clean my room because today is an only chance I might have to clean my room so I stayed in my room all morning dusting and cleanng while she Im not even gonna say mother was in the kitchen doing God knows what i finished clean my room then moved on to cleaning my bathroom all this time I havent said a word to her she hasnt a word to me fine now im in my room Im all done and I decided that Im gonna get started on my school assignments she came rushing in my room starting yelling and screaming saying we both cant be in the same house and shes tired of me and my attitude in this house she yelled and screamed and say what she needed to say now when its my turn to talk shes gonna walk away and not wanna hear it or shut me up when its my turn now to say what I gotta say and just becausr I didnt come to her the night before or didnt say anything to her shes pi***d about that I said to her Im not like you and I dont jump on people and say what I gotta say right away she gonna scream and say damn right im not like her that i could never be like her like shes some high and mighty person that cant talk to her

And what got me mad was after I try to do something nice for her it freaking totally blew up in my face and now shes gonna come scream at yell at me just because I spent the morning cleaning my room and bathroom SHE IS A SICK AND TWISTED NO GOOD BI**H WHO JUST WANTS ME OUT THE HOUSE but what eucks is I wanna leave too its just that I have no where to go and im not employed to financially take care of myself as muchs as im looking for jobs. As of right now im shaking because im trying so hard not to go crazy like going of to kill myself because if i wasnt a christian and know the consequences after I would just might go ahead and do it and I dont wanna go back to that dark place I end up in a few months ago she pissed me off so bad that I just started throwing and breaking stuff all over my room I became a maniac because of her and prayed and said to myself that I never wanna do again because something just came over me and I dont know what is was but it wasnt me that was a really dark place for me and it was all because of her I would never wish bad on her but ill make the except just for her because i feel she deserve it.
Reneecole Reneecole
1 Response Aug 31, 2012

I've been here... Im 25 and don't live with my mom and the other day she dropped off a hate letter expressing how she wants to kill me and get me put out of my home. I know what you are going through to live with a tyrant. Don't let her destroy you. She is only playing the devils advocate. Don't you even as so much think of killing yourself. Let me tell you if God didnt have something special for you the devil wouldn't try so hard to destroy you now. I don't have to know her to tell you she is just like mines. I will tell you a secret she hates herself. She places her feelings on you because she subconsciously know its something special about you but there isn't anything special about her. She wants your approval why do you think she got so upset you weren't speaking to her because she needs gratification from you to pretend like everything is great and she is a great mother and person. But you won't play in to her fantasy so she beats you down trying to break you instead of changing because before ppl change they will resort to find others like them and if they can't they resort to making ppl like them. She is dysfunctional and don't you coddle her feelings and make her feel like she is anything short of a nut bag. I def want you to move out but it won't stop your pain. This is what the devil is bout to do.... You will move out and bound yourself through low self esteem to everything you went through. Im just now learning this myself.. just because ppl share a status such as mother or father you dont have to deal with them.. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS... and its ok if she doesnt love you or you think she doesnt, which ever....dont let that break you..move on.. somethings you got to let go to get to where you are going.. sorry if its even your mom.