My Mother.

I've had a rouch life growing up.I'm only 14 at the moment.When I was the ages 4-6 my cousin molested me,for about 3 or 4 years.I thought it was normal,him touching me,but as I started to mature I realized what he did to me wasn't right.I tried telling her what he was doing to me..she said "You're a effing liar,why would you make up such a thing?".It was easter 2007 when he attempted on raping me.It was the middle of the night.Everyone was asleep.I struggled and got away,I ran to my grandmas tent for protection.I tried telling her again,she never believes me to this day.I feel she failed as a mother,to protect me from monsters like him.When it was my 11th birthday my mom already had a new boyfriend.Cliff is his name,he would hit my mom black and blue.She would project her anger torwards me,yell at me,tell me I'm the reason for my grandma getting diagnosed with cancer,her hoariding,her pregnancy..ect.When he found out about her being pregnant he flipped,he broke all of her stuff pushed her to the ground and broke the thing you hang clothes on and threanted to kill her with it.I saw it all..he came after me before.I told my dad,he called child protective services for me.My mom would hit me,pull my hair,even choke me sometimes.I would walk to school with bruises all over my body..people would laugh about it and gossip about me.My mom hoarided papers,trash,clothes,toys,you name it.BUT she made it visible for everyone to notice,like my school bus.I would get made fun of SO MUCH,I get trash thrown at me,food thrown at me and everything.All the rumors and everything.And then she would come up to my school and mak the biggest scenes there..throw fits...complain..ect.My mom complained to my dad one day about how stupid I am,how pathetic I am and how I'm a liar,she (for the first time of my dad knowing) told him that Imma liar and I made up a ridiculous story about me being molested by my cousin and how I was almost raped.He called the cops,I went to court 2 years after the incident.We lost due to lack of evidence,my mom yelled "I knew it,you lying little *****." Some how people heard about it,now this where things get hard for me,I got called ****,a liar,mulnipulter,*****,lesbian..In 6th grade guys would grab my but and my boobs unexpectingly.I told the teachers,said they were sexually harassing me.THEY DID NOTHING..the horrific taunting..the gossip..the laughter...day after day I had to live with it.I was humilitated at school,facebook,home ect.This is 2012 my grandma died 3 years ago,cancer.We took care of her til the day she died.My mom had her babies,lost one..(triplits,now twins) My mom blammed me for her mothers cancer,she tell me alot "look what you did,happy now?????" One time I was in the 5th grade and she dragged me by my hair to my grandmas room and said "You ******* *****,this is your fault,look what you have done,see what I have to put up with???" That is the day my mom boyfriend took charge and hit me.One day I came home,sisters only age 3,and Ciff was holding my sister upside down and shaking her because she wouldn't be quiet.Another time when my sisters were playing on the bed when one fell off cuz they were jumping and got really hurt..anyways Cliff LITTERALLY BEAT HER..whipps all other her back...whelps and hand prints on her throat..SHE WAS ONLY 3 !!!!HE BEAT HER....Excuse my language but I ******* HATE HIM...Made me sick...my grandma died and after that my mom became seen-ile.She would claim she hear and see my grandma walk to my room,saying how I'm going to hell,the devil is going to take me.Alot of kids lived near me...so most of the time kids would hear my mom.....and make fun of me at school and facebook..my house got tee-peed and egged one time.My dad got a divorce.All of everything haunts me from this day,me being sexually assulted,I have troubles trusting now,my moms abusive and cheating boyfriend,made me fearful for my sisters...my mother...well she messed up my life with her stupid choices...dads divorce...well made me depressed..my grandmas death gave me alsers in my stomache..i would throw up blood due to stress.People at school made me insecure and hate myself...One day the teacher had embarressed me at school...That was it..I was on my last straw with people..I had a nervous break down...I cried and screamed and cried...I ran out of the classroom to the nearest exit..the teacher ran after me...she asked "whats wrong" I yelled "NOTHING LEAVE ME ALONE!!" She kept asking..I just ignored her ..from that point on...the stress from everything and everyone..I almost took my life that night...I slit my wrist..just to feel that this is reallity ...not a nightmare..!!I overdosed on pills..I felt lethargic and everything..I blacked out...my mother thought I was sleepingshe saw the pills.....I felt her shaking me saying "wake up...dinner..I been calling you".she even threw water at my face..then realized the pills..She put me in the mental hospital..it seemed more like a camp or therapy then those nut houses they have on tv...!!! It got even worse torwards the end of the year..I tried again..my mom kept kicking me out..I had no where to go...my dads 3 hrs away from my moms...so I couldnt call him..I had to call my grandma which is 1 hr away.....I stayed with her 2 weeks before school ended...I am living with my dad now...I have later on diagnosed with bi-polor depression,also have post tramatic stress,and I get anexiety attacks alot..I take pills for alll that.I feel better,happier with my dad..I like my new school...I miss my sisters..!!OH by the way my mom got diaqnosed with cancer..said she had it for 6 yrs and it had been dormit...she was recently cure..but uh personally I think god was giving her a sign...She is somewhat changing....now that im gone..she is realizing her mistakes...she is moving away from her boyfriend as soon as she gets her life in order.
RebeccaZim98 RebeccaZim98
18-21
5 Responses Sep 11, 2012

wow - your story is touching. stay strong. there is a saying what doesnt break you makes you stronger.

You sound so much like me. Only my cousin succeeded with raping me when I was 12 and I got pregnant and lost the baby.

I cried on reading this....

I'm glad things are looking up for you. Sounds like you have been through a lot.

Sorry I have alot of mistakes on here.I am really tired,and I typed this really fast,not looking over it.