I Hate My Mother

SCREW trying to make our relationship work.
All i want to hear is that something in her life wasn't perfect.
I go through hell every day and we've gone to therapist after therapist and they all say she dosent listen and she needs to work on that. She stopped our counseling. She thought they were idoits. Every time i talk to her there's no love. I havent talked to her i mean really talked in a almost 2years with out my heart breaking. I pushed to the point im going to break again. Pills arnt working time keeps going and my life has many more days to try.
im trying to stay positive but really its never gonna get better. I've mentally blocked her and my heart has put up a barrier.
regularcoyote225 regularcoyote225
26-30
2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

I love the first sentence of your post. Sometimes thats exactly what you have to do - jus screw it! Same sh!t with my mom. For years i tried and i wanted for us to be "close" have some type of friendship but this desire only caused me more pain as she shot down all my attempts. Then i realised something really amazing: that she was a ugly person who i really didn't need to be close with. She's my mom, but we dont have to be friends. The more and more i saw her as a person, rather than my mom, i realised that i honestly didn't want her to be my friend - she's jus down right disgusting. . . . . . be strong. That barrier you put up is going to protect you well!

I feel for you i have the same problem,i hate my "mum" too and wish that she had put me up for adoption to people who would of loved me,i suffered emotional,physical and physiological at her hands and her sisters family hands,she has never been there for me,its all about her and what she needs,ive ridiculed,had comments from her that cut me to the bone,when my son was born,she flew over from abroad,only because other people were telling her to and she doesn't even know where her only grandchild is now and hes 18yrs old,when my marriage broke up,i called for comfort from her and all she could say was "i didnt know you were so weak", also she had said to me that"im lucky to have a home,say a woman that has a house built a house worth 3 million and im in a council house,where the council want my house,so this time next year i could be homeless,she has never shown me any love/affection,just critcuism and im her only child!! i would kill to have a daughter, that's so helpful like me,but all her family, including her,just use me and now ive cut them off 2 years now and i wish to god that she was never my mother or that i was never born into such a negative family,its messed me up big time