My Lovely Mother

I hate my mother. She is very malicious and cruel. Our relationship seemed fine until I got a C on a report card. When that happened she threw shoe boxes at me and threaten to destroy everything I own. Ever since then she always yelled at me everyday, never let me be with friends, and took my electronics out of my room. I haven't had them since around 2008. She always tries to put me down. She likes to make me cry. She is constantly insulting me and says stuff to make me self conscious. She has starved me for two days because I forgot to feed the cat. Afterwards I would hide food in my room and gorge at meals afraid she would starve me again. Eventually she started making comments about my gorging, so I started starving myself, refusing to eat breakfast,lunch and eat a small dinner.Then I would binge when she wasn't around. I still do this, and I feel like I can't stop. I've tried to kill myself multiple times. She doesn't care, I have told her, but she just gets angry and I get in trouble. So I bruise and burn myself to prevent myself from killing myself. She has walked out of the house for hours before because I didn't understand my homework. I have half a year until I can move out, but I don't think I will be able to. She likes to insult me for the fact I don't have a license, but she never takes me driving. I don't have a job because its hard for a teen with no experience to get a job. My grades have tanked because of how unhappy. My brother is growing up to be just like her. He laughs when I cry. I have panic attacks when I hear her enter the house. I lock myself in my room afraid she will come in and hurt me like she has done before. Its like she is happy that I'm failing in life. She also said she is going to take out all the money in my savings account that my father has been putting money in. I'm very scared for my future. I feel like if I don't get accepted in a college, or have a job by the time my 18 birthday rolls around, I might hang myself. Sometimes when she leaves I wish she would just get in a car crash and die. I know its horrible but I can't help it, I hate her. I feel sick when I think of her.
dontcryyy dontcryyy
18-21
3 Responses Nov 29, 2012

my mom is just lie your, if i get a bad mark i get a month grounding, hit, spatula to the hand, and every time she does this it breaks, pulls my hair, kicks me i hate her and i forged her signature today and she called me every single name you could imagine, kicked me hit me spatula till it broke, sent to room at 6:30 to go to bed i hate her I'm under 13

I can't stand my mom right now, i know she means well but sheesh she has the weirdest way of showing it. things will get better once you are working and on your own. dont give up. thats the cool thing about being an adult, if you don't like someone you don't have to deal with them. =)

my mom likes making me miserable too, she has never starved me but has done other things. Im almost 18 too and am so scared for the future bc i have no money for college. i have a theory: our moms our like dictators, they like hurting us because it makes them feel good. maybe you could disown her when you are 18 and move in with a friend to finish out the school year. if you cant find a job, make your own by doing personal jobs for people. Learn how to not hate her, and don't let her affect you. do things to let her know that YOU have control of YOUR life. Not her. hope this helps <3