I Really Hate Somthing Called Family

Im 17 turning 18 this january & my shockingly strict parents are making life so difficult for me. They never let me do things which other normal teenagers do & it has come to a point where i cant handle it anymore. Also not alude to have friends always making a camplement about my friends if she does not like one of my friend it means i cant hang wiz her sometimes she just say no dont hang around wiz this girl she think the world got time for me. the thing which has gotten to me most is that i am NEVER allowed to go out with my friends at all & honestly it sucks being the only one left out from plans every time when all my other friends have a good time. I think its getting to a point where i am getting depressed about it? because i never get to experience things which normal teenagers do. i swear my parents are controlling and taking over my life. i do everything to please them, i listen to them and do everything im told, my schooling is going really bad becouse of them i dont drink or smoke, i wear appropriate clothes (they are strict on clothing to) and after obeying them so much i just wish that they could just listen to what i want and let me go out once in a while. i honestly have no social life whatsoever, and everyone knows it. whenever people ask me what i've done in the weekends i ALWAYS say the same thing which is staying home, whereas everyone else has cool stories to tell. it limits my conversation also, im a quiet person& quite unsocial, and i reckon that this is all because of my parents because they never give me any opportunities to contact with people. Back in the days theyd let me go out with my friends and that too after heaps of convincing. sometimes i feel like my mum is doing this on porobes. then when i argue with my mom she starts bringing up my culture (im african) & things like how people in my culture dont go places by them self they have dignity and are respectful.. for gods sake :/ its not fair because it shouldnt have to be related to my culture as a billion other kids from my culture are allowed and have so much freedom in their outings etc.. when i tell mom that then all she says is that those kids have no respect for themselves? okay i get wearing respectful clothes but not being able to go town? what! damn, i just want them to realise that im no longer a baby anymore & im growing up.. im gonna be 18 i should get at least some freedom without having to argue with them so much. and i've tried so many times to have heart-to-heart convos with my mam but its really hard because i start tearing up and then i just cant do it anymore, im really sensitive but i want to have a serious talk with her but i just cant do it. & you know what really sucks? is that even after im 18 i'll still have to obey them & i cant move out until im married because its not in my culture to do that. dammit im going to do something stupid if im stuck living this way of life until im married! This is affecting me in such a bad way.. i even have anxiety and slight depression, & after a depression if i toke a test ill be 100% depressed and im really in need of a holiday. I cant keep doing this. sometimes i feel so angry i just want to do somthing or do something really stupid infront of her because im done. nowdays when i get invited to parties i always turn them down before even asking my parents cos i already know what their answer will be.
Izzlove1 Izzlove1
18-21
Dec 8, 2012