A Fool

I suppose I'm the fool, because my mother hated me until her dying day. She was 13 years old when she had me (at 16 she had another child and left it in the hospital after she gave birth to her)..She did not raise me...When I was about 8 years old (she was about 20 or 21) my great grandmother died, and I had to live with her. When I was about 10 going on 11, she put me in a home. She did not want me..She was very abusive (emotionally) and long story short, I was traumatized by everything.

I would see her every 10 years. She would just pop up out of the blue. And every time she came, I welcomed her with open arms. I pushed aside my depression and anger and let her in. And every time I let her in, she would hurt me.

I loved her and I wanted her to love me and be my friend. Be my mother. But she was not capable of loving me. She was only interested in herself. She was a sociopath.

She later tried to steal my daughter... My only child...This was really an ordeal to say the least, because she turned my child against me....

Until this day, my daughter, whom I sacrificed for and helped to become the first doctor in my family, hates me.

I was a strict parent, but I was a parent.
I wasn't rich, but she had everything she needed.
I had to work sometimes 3 jobs at one time, but I thought that is what good parents did.

I feel that all children must be disciplined and we live in a society that can't tell the difference between discipline and abuse...

My daughter has lied on me. Told people that I abused her..Even told people that I tried to kill her..Nothing could be further from the truth... I tired to figure out why would someone lie on me...then I realized that she would have to lie in order to justify her behavior....I did nothing but love her and give to her everything I had, and she never appreciated me....She was very selfish and unloving..

I loved my mother dearly and my daughter... And now my mother has passed away and my daughter is living her life without me...

Life is something else....

All I can say for those of you who hate your mother.Those of you who have been traumatized by a close relative..Learn to love. Learn to love yourself without being selfish and hateful towards others...There are no perfect people in this world... Learn to forgive and learn to love.... It is in loving yourself and others that the healing begins. And keep your minds focused on the present. when those flashbacks occur (and they will) immediately focus on the present and resolve to live a life of love, kindness and joy.

Royael Royael
46-50
1 Response Dec 16, 2012

Hi,

I'm 24 yrs old and i have a very emotionally abusive mother. Kind of similar to yours expect the only thing she didn't do is disown me. She's still alive also. I always welcome her with kindness but she hurts me and says the most cruel things to me that bring me down so badly. She recently hurt me and now she has cut me out of her life like i did something to her when she is the one that has hurt me very badly recently. And she has chronically abused me both physically and mentally and emotionally since I was a child so it's really hard. So ya I just live in the present and try to survive and stay happy which is what i'm doing. I took a job and am doing it part time even though i don't have any time with my degree right now but i have to because i don't trust my mom, she may cut me out any time financially too. Anyways good luck to you. All the best.

perhaps her cutting you out of her life was the best thing that could have happened, it saves you from the guilt of doing it to her and gives you the happiness you could never have before. she will most likely continue to hurt you if you let her back into your life, so until you can build up a wall that will prevent this you should keep your distance. cutting my abusive mother out of my life for awhile was the best thing I ever did, it was also one of the hardest. be strong and know that you are not the problem, she is.