I Hate Hate Hate My Mother

I hate the s#%t out of my mother. That woman should have never been blessed with a womb. I am the baby of two girls. My mom hated me from the day I was born. She has loved to talk about how having me almost killed her. Poor thing. She hemmoraged and was sent back to the hospital and almost bled to death after having me. All my fault of course. She should have known the misery I would be causing her in the future and just smothered me. Unfortunately, she survived. What she has told me about my child years that I don't remember is how awful I was to my older sister. I was so mean. Lord only knows where I must have gotten it from. I was always a liar, always uncooperative, and my heart murmur they discovered when I had awful pneumonia?.... What a pain in the ***!!

As I grew, I always felt very close and safe with my dad. What a little **** I was, right? That was HER man. I should've kept my paws to myself. Heaven forbid I love my dad and be a dads girl. So,... Low and behold, I got into a **** load of trouble in my teens and became a teen mom. Probably looking for unconditional love. Since my dad was a total wuss and my mom was an evil ***** who hated my guts, wtf was I supposed to do?( Did I mention my amazing older sister who was a straight A student/cheerleader/ drama club/ gate/ TA student teacher was kicking *** and taking names academically was making me look like a superdouche? )
At any rate, I wound up needing my mother because I was a young mother. Of course I now realize I was acting out for any attention I could get from her. All she had was anger and I wanted to make her love me. I couldn't make her love me so I figured I'd go all out and make her as ******* crazy as I could.

I wound up a single mom for years; still am actually. I'm now 35. Ive have 3 beautiful children and the two men I have them with are the meanest most abusive ******** I've eve met. The only person that trumps them is my mother. This woman would make my dad feel guilty for coming to my house and fixing broken faucets, catching mice, etc... Helping me, HIS CHILD, with things I couldn't take care of myself. My mom would get angry if i called my dads cell phone instead of calling her or the house first. My mom has said things such as "why dont you just marry Olivia?!" when she would be mad that my dad was associating with me. Also, BTW, I WAS NEVER UNEMPLOYED!!!! I have always financially provided for my kids. ALONE!! No child support. Yes of course my parents have helped me financially, but NEVER without strings attached (Btw, super sister became a lawyer and then a law professor). My parents have finally split up. This monster is still lingering in my life. We no longer talk. She actually said that I was one of the biggest stresses on her marriage. Wtf kind of mother says that to her kid? I wonder if this **** wouldn't bother me as much if I didn't have kids. Then I wouldn't understand motherly love. But it rips me up because I know how much it would kill me for my kids to feel what I feel.
Livicido77 Livicido77
Jan 7, 2013