I Hate My Mom Because She Is A Selfish Bastard!

i hate my mom. She is a selfish bastard. She Just thinks about what is good for her economically and the only concern in her life is absorbing others attention.
Although she is my mom and she has helped me several times so that I can grow up, I hate her because she doesn't understand why everyone think of me as a dumb boy.
When I was 4 year old whenever she had a problem with her parents or she was angry she punished me because of nothing.
When I was 12 year old, She committed suicide by jumping from the height and since then she started to commit suicide, the most awful part is about my sister who was 7 year old in that time.
Whenever I had a really important situation in my life she disturbed me by doing something stupid and staying in hospital.
And now in my most stressful part of life she is making everything messed up.
Because of what she has done in the last 12 years, I never could trust family and there are times I thought about abandoning everything and living in a forest, or some times I thought about committing suicide.
At this momment I have left my house and I am staying in a store for the night so I could forget her, please help me find a way to forget her and start a new life. :(
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013