She Destroyed Me

im lonely coz of her .... she destroyed me ..... when i was a kid she kept telling me that im ugly, im fat and no one can love........i was having Acne and never tried to search for a cure for me till my face now is completely damage like an old guy, i can hear ppl talking about me saying she has a destroyed face , she is ugly....... i was almost raped by my cousin when i was young , and she never bother herself checking on ......... she never have been a friend to me , she is always against me.....she prefers my sisters over me... she likes to fight with me and make me sad... she never appreciated anything i have done and dont support in what im doing.... i really wanna go out from the house coz of her , so i can work day and night not to see her..... and im thinking about marrying ANY guy just to live away from is just part of my story
madchen madchen
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 18, 2013

Hi. I'm sorry you're lonely. Life is so hard when your mother doesn't love you. The one person in the world that is supposed to love you without condition, without thought. You are her child. Everyone loves their child. And if your mother doesn't love you, boy is there something wrong with you!

Let's get out of fantasy land, now. Some mothers are not good. Some mothers are horrible and instead of guiding their child, loving their child, teaching their child how to love, they create an insecure, fearful, isolate being who is afraid to participate in the real world because this mother told them they weren't good enough to do so. And, even at the age of 52, it sucks.

I don't have a picture of you. I don't know what you look like. I believe you don't either. I believe you look at yourself through her mirror. Her mirror is as distorted as she is. Her mirror can't see beauty. Her mirror can't understand beauty. Her world and therefore her mirror are and see ugly. There is no beauty in her world. You could be the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth and she will never, ever tell you that. But you will believe what she says when she tells you you're ugly. Why? We have to. Their our mothers. Mothers don't lie -- do they? Yes!!!! They lie. They have problems. And they don't understand or care that they are shaping the mind and the personality of the child that was gifted to them. Life is all about them. Life is for them. The child they were given was given to them for their use, their benefit. They are warped.

Stop looking at yourself through her mirror. I have no doubt you are beautiful. Acne is something almost all teens have to deal with. Its horrible and embarrassing and something no one wants to deal with. But everyone -- almost everyone -- has to. It doesn't make you ugly. It makes you a very normal teenager.

You are beautiful. Stop looking at yourself through her mirror. Look into yours and remind yourself daily of your beauty as a person, your worth, your dreams. You deserve it all. And its all there within your reach -- you just have to want it. Honest. It is there for you. Want it. Get it.