My Hateful Mother.

Hello. I am a 25 year old female and i hate my mother. Ever since i was a kid my mother (well, my whole family except my late grandfather, but ma's the most obvious one) had always made it clear that i was the black sheep of the family. She had difficulties when giving birth to me, maybe that contributes to her hating me so much. But then again, i wasn't always the nicest child. I was like every other kid, like my brothers and sisters too, i was 'naughty' but hey, that's normal for children. When i was in primary school she used to tell me all the time that i was not as smart as my peers. And for years, until my final years of high school i actually believed that i was useless and stupid. She constantly said that i am such a burden and compare to to other siblings or any other kids she knew just to bring me down. The thing about my mother is that she has wild imaginations. She often accuses me for things i never did. For example, today she shouted at me through the phone even before i got into the house because she thought i was messing around, having fun out of the house with my friends when all i did was going to the bank to do some business related to my studies. My nephews and niece are staying with us and she feel that i'm giving my younger sister a hard time leaving her at home with the kids. BULLSHIT. We have a maid at home, my little brother was at home too, why make make me the bad guy? she was bored i guess. He had accused me of driving her car out of town when she and my father went back to their hometown (with my dad's car) just so i could brag to friends that i have a car. like what? i'm in my 20's there is nothing i have to brag about driving her old honda civic. Plus, i usually avoid driving when going out with my friends. When i asked her to tell me exactly the time, and place i went to when i allegedly took her car out she just shouted back "i'm your mother, i know everything" or "don't talk back to me!" and then start to babble about how my university degree is not worth anything cause i'm a rude daughter. That's what she always says anyway. Like after high school, i used to work as a kitchen hand at a local pizza hut outlet, and whenever i try to help her out in the kitchen at home and made mistakes, she would say "you think you're so smart cause you work at a restaurant". Like how did she even think of saying those things. Another one (i have alot of complaining to do, lol), i'm a Muslim, so i have to go out with my body covered at all times. And that's what i do, everytime. One time i wanted to go out for dinner for my bestfriend's birthday, i wore a long skirt, but the material was sheer, so i wore a shorter skirt inside and a pair of boots so noone can see the silhouette of my legs. The next morning when she did the laundry with my sister, she told her that i was just wearing the long skirt to cover up my legs at home and took them off when i left the house. My sister told her that i would'nt do such things. She said to her "you'll never know". I was like, really? really? i am not a wild child. sorry to disappoint your imagination but i am a very truthful person. what i wear when i go out with you is what i wear when i am with my friends. I have tried opening up to my friends about my problem years ago, but they told me that my mom was just being an asian parent. their parents were strict to them back then too, but have mellowed last couple of years. i think they would say something completely different if i told them that my mom is still being a pain in the ***. Back in the day, i used to think that i was probably just being whiny, but now, as an adult i know for sure that my mother is the problem. The thing is, she's only like this with me, with my other siblings she's fine. Is it because, physically, i resemble her the most? i remind her of her self? Whatever it is, my mother is just really hateful towards me, i can't wait to leave this house forever.
happydome happydome
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

I can relatteeee! my mom tells me at very very minimum twice a day that im a burden to the family and that im the one ruining it for evrybody. I told her that if im such a burden, to send me to a boarding school. just because of that, she grounded me for A MONTH, and yes im still on it, she took away everything, threatened to pull me out of the one thing i love more than anyhting, and told me that if she was going to send me anywhere, it was to a mental home. and wenever i cry my dad sits outside my room mimicking me. he also screams about how much of a spoiled brat i am, and that him and my mom are doing nothing wrong, yet their standing outside my door mimicking me crying...

I can completely relate. So sorry your having to deal with all of this. Get through school, move on out, and CHOOSE to be happy in life. If that means keeping your mother at arms length... do it. There is no worse pain than the pain of a child's, no matter what age, when the pain is brought on by their mother not showing them love. You dont have to deal with it. You can always choose to be happy over being verbally abused. Good luck.