I Hate My Mother
Well I'm a 19 year old girl. I haven't had the easiest life but I haven't had the hardest life either. My family grew up poor, Mum had her government payments and that was all, Dad was in jail or so I thought he was my Dad untill this year my mum dropped the "no your just adopted by him, your real father was a sleaze" bombshell on me!
Besides that as I said we were not wealthy and to make the matter better mum had a drug addiction, mainly just weed and alcohol but as the years progressed I had witnessed her do a number of other drugs. When mum was drinking she turns into a nasty version of herself, she would lash out at whoever she was angry at which happened to be me quite alot. Even without drink she was a violent person but on it she was much worse. I remember countless times her dragging me by my hair, slapping me in the face, I hated her punches, they were the worst because her hands were always covered in rings and she would always scrap chunks out of my skin from hitting me with them. She will Swear black and blue to this day that she didn't ever lay a finger on me whilst I was growing up.
When we moved away from all my family I was just 7 and it was only me and mum at the time. She tried to be a good mother but I just don't think she was capable. I'd get myself ready for school, I'd go to school with no lunch because she spent the money on weed instead of bread. I'd try my best to look and act and get grades of the best daughter and if I did well and was awarded I'd take it home to mum thinking she would be proud, oh how I was wrong.
My 'dad' came out of jail and he was like my saviour, mum always envied my bond with him because even to this day he was the most influential person in my life. Mum would find ways to try and make me seem like I was being 'naughty' she would always find something so that I'd be in trouble and not allowed out spending time with my father.
They used to argue alot, especially after my little sister was born. Me and my sister were put into foster care and dad sank into depression, he killed himself and after that mum just got worse. She was never sober, she never cared. My brother had to come stay with us to help look after my little sister, I had to give up school (year 7) to help around the house. I remember mum cursing at me as I tried to put her to bed after she would come back blind from a night out at the pub.
I've stuck with school, I'm in my last year now, despite the amount of personal issues I faced during it (I had fallen pregnant to a man I thought loved me and I lived with, we lost the baby and he laughed in my face, I almost died due to a fever that was taken over my body, I've lived away from mum since the age of 15 and worked to pay for rent, bills, food) but here I am hopefully able to go to Uni next year and mum still isn't proud. She still calls me stupid and fat. She doesn't listen nor care.
She and her new boyfriend argue all the time so her and my little sister come stay at mine, she comes here and screams at me and blames me and treats me like a child, she belittles me in my own home, but I can't just turn my back on her and my little sister. They have no where else to go (untill her and her boyfriend sort it out) she has imposed on me like this well more than 40 times in the past 2 years. It's ridiculous. I want to help but she expects me to drop everything even my work and studies at her will. At this rate I'm going to fail again on attendance this year and I can't. She just come here and sucks the life out of me untill I want to die.
Sometimes I'm brave enough to stand up to her and she turns it all back around on me.
I can't do it anymore. She has attempted to ruin my life more than enough times. Can't I be finally able to live my own life and be proud without her negative comments and ways.
It's not fair on me, she literally just breaks me down untill I feel like I'm nothing, what kind of mum is that?
Besides that as I said we were not wealthy and to make the matter better mum had a drug addiction, mainly just weed and alcohol but as the years progressed I had witnessed her do a number of other drugs. When mum was drinking she turns into a nasty version of herself, she would lash out at whoever she was angry at which happened to be me quite alot. Even without drink she was a violent person but on it she was much worse. I remember countless times her dragging me by my hair, slapping me in the face, I hated her punches, they were the worst because her hands were always covered in rings and she would always scrap chunks out of my skin from hitting me with them. She will Swear black and blue to this day that she didn't ever lay a finger on me whilst I was growing up.
When we moved away from all my family I was just 7 and it was only me and mum at the time. She tried to be a good mother but I just don't think she was capable. I'd get myself ready for school, I'd go to school with no lunch because she spent the money on weed instead of bread. I'd try my best to look and act and get grades of the best daughter and if I did well and was awarded I'd take it home to mum thinking she would be proud, oh how I was wrong.
My 'dad' came out of jail and he was like my saviour, mum always envied my bond with him because even to this day he was the most influential person in my life. Mum would find ways to try and make me seem like I was being 'naughty' she would always find something so that I'd be in trouble and not allowed out spending time with my father.
They used to argue alot, especially after my little sister was born. Me and my sister were put into foster care and dad sank into depression, he killed himself and after that mum just got worse. She was never sober, she never cared. My brother had to come stay with us to help look after my little sister, I had to give up school (year 7) to help around the house. I remember mum cursing at me as I tried to put her to bed after she would come back blind from a night out at the pub.
I've stuck with school, I'm in my last year now, despite the amount of personal issues I faced during it (I had fallen pregnant to a man I thought loved me and I lived with, we lost the baby and he laughed in my face, I almost died due to a fever that was taken over my body, I've lived away from mum since the age of 15 and worked to pay for rent, bills, food) but here I am hopefully able to go to Uni next year and mum still isn't proud. She still calls me stupid and fat. She doesn't listen nor care.
She and her new boyfriend argue all the time so her and my little sister come stay at mine, she comes here and screams at me and blames me and treats me like a child, she belittles me in my own home, but I can't just turn my back on her and my little sister. They have no where else to go (untill her and her boyfriend sort it out) she has imposed on me like this well more than 40 times in the past 2 years. It's ridiculous. I want to help but she expects me to drop everything even my work and studies at her will. At this rate I'm going to fail again on attendance this year and I can't. She just come here and sucks the life out of me untill I want to die.
Sometimes I'm brave enough to stand up to her and she turns it all back around on me.
I can't do it anymore. She has attempted to ruin my life more than enough times. Can't I be finally able to live my own life and be proud without her negative comments and ways.
It's not fair on me, she literally just breaks me down untill I feel like I'm nothing, what kind of mum is that?
By:
justhadenough
Age:
18-21
,
Female
