She Ruined My Life!

My mom is typical abuser now I'm 25 , when I was younger she would hit me and treat me hostile all the time. My dad left her when I was 2 , I have 2 older sisters but she doesn't hate them so much. She would take out her anger on me. She teats me like an invalid and like I'm a sinner. As I grew up I was scared of talking to her. During my teens I was so desperate to win her love. I started creating stories that would fascinate her and I used to love it when she used to smile at me and listen to me. But that was the only time she ever listened to me. She would hit me to death at every given oppurtunity and humiliate me in front of my friends. When I turned to my second older sister ( The older sister was a complete ***** who made my life all the more worse) she was dealing with her own issues with life and she couldn't offer me much. I befriended the wrong guy who was a loser and I left him later to jump into a relationship with another loser. I discontinued my degree a year before graduation , but being smart helped me get jobs. I spent all the money on her yet she would never give me credit for it . Still I live with her getting humiliated every minute. I'm gonna move out of here soon. The best suggestion I give u guys is study , get a job and move away from your abusive moms. Trust me never try to win an abusive mums love , she would never love you. Love yourself coz at the end of the day you are all you've got.

Saddee Saddee
22-25
1 Response Feb 15, 2009

I can relate to your experience , as I have studied, and researched this topic, It is very common to choose 1 child to take her problems out on, like you I was the one in my family. I suffered endless beatings, broken bones and burns. There was nothing I could do to make her happy. My sisters made it worse, and happy it was me and not them. I left home as a teenager, and never looked back. I tried to feel love for her at her death bed, there was no longer hate, there was sorrow, but I cannot feel love. Love is earned, not just given. I accept the fact she had a troubled life, wish her no I'll will. But the hurt I grew up with will never be forgotten.