Understand the Feeling

 I don't hate my mother. She was a golden woman who out her children's lives before her's.

But that's not the reason I writing her.

I am a professional. Many of the individuals I have tried to help over the years would not had to come to me if they had a better relationship with their mother.

I sympathize with the victims of bad mothering. Basic trust issues are destroyed in early childhood that are never reconstructed properly.

Love is not learned. This basic feeling is replaced by fear,low self, inadequate feelings about oneself and others, poor judgement.

OCD is often the cause of poor parenting. Growth issues are put on a back burner, along with basic human emotional development.

On the flip side, children of bad parenting often grew into mature stable adults because they know what was done to them was wrong. And contrary to what we read in the newspaper, abuse patterns are often not repeated.

To the victims, someone needs to apologize to you. Let it be me. I am sorry for what happend to you.

And I wish it never hapopend.

Prove your mother wrong. Go forward, live good lives, be helpful and kind to others.

Forgive, it is the first step to healing.

retiredfather retiredfather
61-65, M
5 Responses Mar 20, 2009

Thank you. How awesome of you to come and spread some kindness and share some wisdome.

Excellent insights! My own observation is the people suffering in this world with the worst images of self and the deepest wounds of soul are the ones who were not loved by parent(s).

Wow nice story lol :P it really touched me and yes i know that since i was born lol again :P

Thank you .Elaine. I hope this message reaches out to others.<br />
<br />
My door is always open.

Well said, retired.<br />
Getting to forgiveness and going on with our lives and being successful even if mom doesn't ever see it is the best thing we can do for ourselves.<br />
<br />
elaine