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38 Years of Bull Sh*t

Hate is probably too strong of a word, but it's pretty freakin close. Long story short; my mother had me at 19. Somehow this is my fault and I have never heard the end about what she had to sacrifice for me. I have frequently been told by her that I "didn't like to be held. So I just left you on the couch and let you cry." As a teen I developed a huge phobia of being touched, partially because my mother so frequently told me that story. What infant does not want to be held? It took me until my adult hood to realize that my mother just was unable to comfort me. She could not help me stop crying so she would just leave me. As I got older she would just make me cry, berate me and then leave. She would not let me biological father see me. She got remarried to a wonderful man, whom she got to adopt me, illegally so my 'real' father wouldn't find out. My father(step) was the best thing that ever happened to me, he taught me how to behave in a social setting, he made me laugh. Of course, my mother would get jelous and I would be sent in my room. She also spent years telling me my 'real' father didn't want me and that's why he left her. Later I found out the truth. The only person who didn't want me was her. She never told me I was pretty, or smart or worth it. She told me she didn't think I would date anyone because I was too fat. 5'6", size 8 fat, btw, which turned into major eating disorders. Funny, same for my sister, who I distinctly remember my mother putting her on a diet when she was, ready for this, 5. She screamed at us everyday. She would scream at me, follow me into the bathroom and make me so upset, I would throw up. Then she would scream at me for 'faking it.' Blood curdling, lip curling, snarling, mean, spit or slap you in the face screaming. I am not kidding. Here are the many ways we were woken as a child: 2 am tuesday school night, I am in sound REM sleep. Bright light on, mom screaming (and I mean screaming) clean your f'in room. Mom swiping her arm over every available flat surface so everything falls to the floor, then continuing to yell at what a slob I was. OR Bright light on, some random cup that was left on the counter thrown in my face, (with juice in it,) of course some more screaming. OR how about the 6 am, wake up call; "GET the F up, I've been up for hours and you need to do work around the house." (6 am mind you); shades up, door opened walking in and out of my room invading whatever little privacy I had. Would walk in while your going to the bathroom, just to break down as many personal boundry's that she could. She told my siblings I hated them. She treated them bad too, but I got it the worst. I have had strangers stop my mother to tell her to be nice to me in stores, she would spit out some venom at them and walk away. When she and my father(step but adopted so real) got divorced, when I was around 28, all she did was tell us lies about him. And if it wasn't a lie it was something so inappropiate to tell your children. She caused all of us to have a huge divide with dad, and loved every minute of it. She is self absorbed and only thinks about herself. Recently, actually while my sister and I took my mother out to a nice dinner for mother's day, she made sure to tell me, "i was a loser because no one wanted to date me." I am 38 and have trouble maintaining a boyfriend partially because I don't think I am worthy enough to date anyone. My mother never naturally hugged or kissed me. My mother never tells me she loves me. I am a strong person, and sometimes think that G-d gave me this burden because I can handle it while maybe someone else could not. However, when she told me today that all I care about is the inheritence I am going to get from her and that I do not love her, I don't think I can handle it much more. This is the tip of the iceberg.
court111 court111 36-40, F 79 Responses Aug 27, 2007

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I'm sorry and you deserve a better mother than that. I'm pretty sure you are worthy of dating and no one is better than you so leave that mother of yours in the past and move on. Start a new life and heal. Hopefully if you find the right people in your life

My friends mum told her that her real dad didn't want her when she was 6 years old and that is why he left cos he wanted a son. She found out years later that he had been trying to contact her through her grandparents as her mum didn't have a phone then. They told him that he had left the family and had no right to phone. She was 25 when she found that out.
My mum was not as bad as you but she told me that I would end up in a room alone. I live in a lovely flat and have friends who care so she was wrong about that.

When she was depressed I would ask her out for a meal and she would answer "why do you want to go out with your mother?"

The problem is her and it is nothing that you have done. Why don't you add me to your circle and we can talk some more.

Hugs xxx

Horrible people usually don't get better with age. There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who hurt you. (No matter who they are) Being an egg donor, or a ***** donor does not automatically command love or respect.
Would you stick your hand in an open flame over and over again, knowing you would get burned every time? Then why keep up this self destructive relationship with your egg donor? You deserve better. Opening up and telling her (or writing her) exactly how you feel may help you heal. Then know your emotional boundaries, when it comes to your relationship with her (it you choose to continue a relationship). If you can only emotionally handle a 5 minute phone call once a month.... once a year.... what ever. Also, Lay down the "rules" with you egg donor, stand up for yourself. Tell her "If you call me names or belittle me, this visit is over"... etc.
Your first responsibility is to mentally heal , so you can great the world in a healthy and positive manor.
Continuing this self destructive relationship helps no one.

You are worthy of dating anyone. Nobody is better than you are. Nobody.
I have a mom who just hates me so much,I cried so often when I was young that my pillow was called my "tear pillow" for all the tears spent sobbing into it asking God for help. Well. It took years but my life is so blessed now. I know God was listening and waiting until the right time. Your burden may someday be a gift if you can use your past to become strong and loving.

I'm sorry. I had similar experience just different details. I was told over and over that I was a child of rape (later I found out was a lie) and that she never could climb the corporate ladder because of me, or meet another man because of me ) In my case it's made it almost impossible for myself to date women. I love women, but I always pick a carbon copy of my mother (which never appears so in the beginning). I've thought of ending my life many times. It's hard to be stuck hurting as a child somewhere still in my mind as a 42 year old man. I've gotten a lot of therapy but sometimes I wonder if broken is broken :(

i hated my mother since i was 12 and have not liked here even more at the age of 21.My mom belittles me and doesn't think I am cable of anything in life. I have a disability and she was just yelling at me and saying that i was messy and fungus was growing in my back pack. i plan on moving out as of nexyt year anyway so it does not matter.

Wow guys. I'm in a similar boat. I'm 44 and just now getting therapy to deal with the lack of boundary issues, verbal and physical abuse I've endured at the hands of the "biological birth-giver." she doesn't deserve to be called a mother. I have only just begun to deal with the emotional trauma wrought upon me and my younger sis because of this woman. Hang in there everybody. Get help if you can.

Also... She days we are low on money, we need to save for the essential... MOTHER ******* ***** YOU JUST BOUGHT A MACINTOSH AN IPHONE 5AND 200 ******* DOLARS ON A PAIR OF SHOES

Seems like a *****, my mom says she is perfect yells at me 4 no rson wonders why everyone hates her, I JUST GOT PUNISHED BECAUSE THAT ***** THINKS RESPONDING TO HER IS BEEING INSOLENT(if you dnt know, thats how a conversation goes). She smashed a pic of me and her kicked me into my room and threw a GLASS CUP at my face WTF! So many other things I would spend my day typing. THE NICEST DUDE IN SCHOOL CALLED HER CRAZY DEVIL. Thats just how bad she is...

I didn't know it continued after the age of about 25. Kill me. I hate my mom too. I wish you the best of luck with her and remember that you ARE that good. You are successful, smart, beautiful, and worthy. This is just testing your endurance.

I'm glad I found this site. I can relate to every word, every line.
My mother hates herself, me, her whole life. It is a shame, because now I feel like I don't ever want to be a mother for fear that I will end up like her.
I too am in the same house and she woke me up in the middle of the night today saying that I hid my makeup, and she should be able to use it because she pays the rent, etc. She came in and took it and started using it. No boundaries. Then I took it back. And then she went into her tape-recorded tirade: "Wow, they really messed you up (society), look at the Gardasil and flu shot they really cooked you up. You're the reason my other children are lost, they look to you. The oldest. You're the reason I am bankrupt. You destroyed everything. We are going to have a talk when I come back. Remember when you were a child? Yes, look what happened to you now."
I've heard it all before.
Everything she could possibly throw at me, she did. I've choked her before, she's punched me in the face and threatened me verbally ("I'll destroy you") and physically.
I am 29, and I've had to endure this my whole life. My dad left when I was 13. You can guess that I don't know how to have a relationship. I'm on medication, and I think that's the only thing preventing me from committing suicide (tried twice before).
It's sad, but FRIENDS. Friends are the escape valve. If not for friends, I would have been dead already. Talk to your friends and even better a counselor. Don't share anything with your mother, because she will never understand, and do everything possible to ruin your plans to get better.
I am pretty certain she has borderline personality disorder and lovingly passed on her bipolar disorder as well to me.
It hurts, it's very real. You must connect with others and know that other people are going through what you're going through.
I hurt like hell right now, but I still made arrangements to go and stay with a friend.
I've done this about 2 or 3 times now.
I'm almost 30, but I might as well be 12...Suicide is just not an option. There is help.

Dont do anything for mothrs day! See when she is old and in care and needs you most. Leave her. I am a christian and try to forgive but there is some things you cant.

if i was in you spot i would just leave her.if she dosent care about you,she wouldnt comeback looking for you have no contact pretend you dont no her

I can relate. I am 54 and I still suffer the results of the very things you describe. Painful. thank you for sharing your story it helps to know I am not alone, but it makes me sad that so many of us have suffered in this way.

I can relate. I still don't feel comfortable sharing my personal story, but reading yours gives ppl like me a voice. Thank you.

I can relate. My story is very similar to yours except that my mother worships the ground my sister walks on and treats me like I'm the scum of the earth. My mother also told me I didn't like being held (but my sister, her favorite, did. Go figure). She said I liked being by myself. Funny, I don't remember wanting to be alone when family members I loved and actually loved me back were around. Every bad thing that ever happened in this woman's life is my fault. Nothing I ever do is right. She criticizes me at every opportunity, then blames me for our crappy relationship. My mother never hugged me either. Never said I love you unless I said it first. I decided when I was 8, I wasn't going to say it to her anymore. She has NEVER told me she loves me since then. I'm 41 now. I never feel like I measure up. Always feel like I don't matter, that no one will ever be interested in me or that if someone is interested, I don't have what it takes to keep them interested. I grew up being told that I have nothing to offer. I'm stupid. All I'll ever be good for is making babies or selling my body. I hate my mother. I believe that when she dies, I will cry simply because of the relief from not trying to have a guilt induced relationship with her. I want nothing to do with my mother, but definitely want to do something about the hatred I feel. Ultimately it hurts me more than it does her.

My mother couldn't care less what I think or feel about her...if she did, she would have treated me better. You don't owe your mother anything. Drop her and find people who recognize you for the beautiful person you are inspite of the witch who raised you.

I can't believe how many people have experiences so close to mine. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone and I am glad that your step father was able to help you. I have so much love and support but the damage your mother does while she has you alone is the unmistakably damaging. I am thirty and I was alone in the car with her on a Christmas vacation while she began hitting me and running through stop lights. I lied to the courts as kids because she said if I told the truth I would end up in foster care and she would be in jail. That is so untrue because I have plenty of loving relatives who would have loved to take 8 year old me in. Even though she convinced me as a child they wouldn't take me and even as a teenager I was so angry I believed I didn't deserve it. I wish we had a web forum back then so I could know I was not alone. She used to hit me and then call the cops to say that if I didn't listen to her I would go to juvenile hall. Little did they know I was being relentlessly "spanked" before they arrived. My grandfather moved in when I was 17 and I experienced almost a full year of unconditional love. I did so well with school and friends. It was short lived as I turned down an expense paid college experience to move in with a boyfriend who beat me and put me down as much as my mother. I am in college now finally and hardly supporting myself. I am not dating any losers and hanging out with friends. I haven't seen her since NYE and that damaging vacation. Hopefully I will be able to resist her guilt trips and abuse for the rest of my life.

A lot of your experiences mimic mine. Move on with your life (no contact with mom) and whatever sanity you have left. Always know that you are more than enough...just the way you are. No need to continue trying to have a relationship with her...she will never change. You need to take care of yourself, first. Trust me, you are lovable and desirable to the right person(s). Don't waste your time/life on those who want to break your spirit.

My mom had been abusing me since I could remember untill I was in middle school or until I can stop her abuses. She's been bullying and harassing me until now. She even bullies me on Facebook. She also bullies my husband, harasses him and she once bullies my kids because she was mad at me. When I was 3 years old to 12 she pulled my hair, hit me with a tree branch, broom and other thing she could think of to beat me with. She used to beat me up for hours in the locked bathroom, tight me up with a robe on the front porch to embarrass me ( I used to live in Indonesia, the Country that wouldn't do nothing for child abuse case). Scratches, swollen and bruises was a regular thing for me. When she had a fight with my dad she would threatened my father that she would hurt me. Sadly my father is a weak person and he couldn't do anything to defend me. My mom also abuses my father. She harasses him, throw glass and plates to him, verbally abuse him and physically abuse him as she did for me. To my brother she verbally and physically abused him a little. But not to my sister. I think verbally abused her a little because that's her character and personality I guess. But I never think she hates my brother or my sister as she hates me and my dad. I am a person that saved by Christ's love though it's still hard for me to forget my pass and to love her. I am trying really hard to forget it but what she will do it over and over until this time to hurt me and to hurt my husband, so it's really hard for me to forget it. I already forgave her but the pain is still there and I am still hurting. I pray so God can heal me completely, so beside forgive I also can forget and be healed inside. I also pray for you so God can touch and heal your heart and release His love to you so you can forgive your mom and forget what happened. It is impossible for me and you to forgive her and to forget the bad things she's been doing in our life but it is NOT impossible for God. I hope you can find peace in your life as I pray the same for myself too. Amen!

I think my mother was a blood relation to your mother. Very similar behavior. However, in public we were the "perfect" family and God take mercy on you if you ever did anything that might not uphold that image. We lived with a code of silence that makes the Mafia look like pikers. The mantra that got drilled into my head (and my sister's head as well) was that we had the most perfect, the most beautiful, the most intelligent mother in the world. I think I grew up with a form of Stockholm syndrome.

This sounds similar to my life the only difference is that I was adopted. I was not hugged or told that she loved me. We have been arguing about the Power of attorney, it is my younger cousin who is her blood relative. It is not about the money it is about RESPECT. Your mother and my mother wnt to control every aspect of our lives. I take one day at a time and she finds ways to upset me it has become a game, it hurts and I cry often but at 42 I have learned to love children unconditionally that is why I have been a teacher for 15 years. I do not want any child to go through what I have experienced from my mom. You are not alone !

600 miles from my mom at 17. 3000 at 36.

Please look at my story and comment. It is much like this one, and I can sympathize for this person. Having to do something that charges yourself something that your mom did an Dane says you did it is maddening,

your story is SO similar to mine! and one of the common phrases i use when describing things to my friends is "tip of the iceberg". i feel you sooooooo much. i would type everything out, but it would take FOREVER. but i know so well the feeling of retching because you have been yelling and crying so hard to drown out your parents' screams. it was so awful, and it still haunts me to this day. i recently had to cut her out of my life it just got too painful and i have been wanting to die ever since. please, let's be online friends! i will tell you more if you are interested, and i will ALWAYS be there for you!

(mean to put a period after "out of my life" and before "it just got too painful)

You're so strong! Keep your head up. God knows what he's doing.

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No I would not try and continue this relationship... it lacks love, warmth, caring, thoughtfulnes, kindness, fun, happiness, laughter, support, etc etc. By staying in this relationship it sounds as if the dysfunctional dynamics will just continue, so all your energy will be converted to negative energy trying to deal with this (dead end sorry) relationship with good relationships that are positive pass you by. Good Luck xxxx

Good for you for not letting her completely drag you down! I too have my story, so I don't want to say too much here. Mayu you find the peace that you need to develop loving, healthy relationships. :-)

Thank you

You know guys, seems to me that many stories are similar, I had crazy woman in my life, my friend did too and we are good friends and both are losers in social life included with girls so I guess we had similar impact in our lives. So this social abnormality has to be tagged, named, classified and paid attention on. We (or somebody else) has to take action to unveil this matter, take it with all seriousness and try to prevent future happening in other families and find the ways to heal those kids, even if they are 38 already. This can not keep happening that way anymore. We have to be heard, not hidden.

this definitely has a name~it's emotional abuse!

i once punched my mother in the nose.this might sound horrible but is insulting ur own son in front of your friends appropriate?she did it like every day ...the comments were getting too painful to hear and suddenly my fist went flying and landed on her sorry nose.I said sorry a thousand times all she said was get out! ur not my son! ..is it me ?or is it her?

Oh screaming mother in the middle of the night or early morning??? tell me about it!!! I am there with you:) let's just forget the past... thanks god we are adults now...

Oh screaming mother in the middle of the night or early morning??? tell me about it!!! I am there with you:) let's just forget the past... thanks god we are adults now...

Oh screaming mother in the middle of the night or early morning??? tell me about it!!! I am there with you:) let's just forget the past... thanks god we are adults now...

it's so effing traumatic being woken up like that!!! from utter tranquility to utter tumult!

im in the same boat. My mom is pure EVIL! waking me up 2am, 4am, 6am for random things too. im 19 and attending college full time and wokring part time but mainly 29 hours a week now. used to be 33. But no matter what i do, i can never get along with her! ive tried and tried but its no winning with her. im in a situation where since technically im an adult, she says she can kick me out. i have no place to move too. well i kinda do but what is the biggest problem is not having my own car. i currently have a suspended license and so i cant even buy a car if i had the money. my mom lets me borrow her car to school and work. but sometimes like today, she threatens shes gonna take the battery out so i cant go to school or work. like those r two very important places i need to go. i always pay for my gas and do everything for that car. shes a freakin B****! i hate her! shes always calling me names, hitting me, throwing stuff at me, and just being a real witch! always putting down my boyfriend saying no guys want me but they just lose me for my money since im working. she always brings up his race since hes half black and im mexican and just being really racist. i hate it because i love him so much and shes not even happy that im happy. always saying the N word and i truly hate it. I have a 5yr. old sister and i dont waant my little sister seeing me and my mom get into our fights. both physical and verbally. My mom always says shes done her job as a mom and im an adult legally that she can kick me out. but like i have no where to go! im in school doing pretty good. working my *** off at work and got offered promotions as a 18yr. old to be a supervisor of the store. and my mom never appreciates me. every night she always yelling at me, trying to literally pull my hair and throw me out. she hates me and i dont know why. im so stuck! because i have no family to live with and no money or a license to even get a car and leave. thats all thats keeping me here, is the car issue. once i get one, im gone forever and shell never meet her future grand kids.

oh man, i so wish i could help you out! i have been there, and i cannot believe i survived it! if you lived near me, i would let you live with me lol (not trying to sound like a creepster). im so sorry you are going through what i have been through for such a long time. it's even worse when no one believes you that this is what your home life is like! message me any time you need to vent girl! i mean that!

I'm 16 and I also hate my mother. The problems have started when I was 11. Even though it has 'only' been 5 years, it's a very long story and English isn't my mothertongue so I will keep it very short:<br />
I've been mentally abused every day since I was eleven years old. I can't leave her, since I have nowhere else to go (I have no contact with my father,who has a drinking problem and money issues, and his part of the family. My mom's family lives in the other part of the country and I don't see them either) <br />
I have developed psychological problems (depersonalisation/derealisation, i can't express emotions ( a reason for her to call me a heartless b*tch), she threatens to call my school (which she already did) if I don't change my 'mean' behaviour , and so on) Everybody thinks she's a good mother because I get every(material)thing I need, but they don't know how she treats me when we're alone.<br />
As I said, I have nowhere else to go. I still have to live in her house for at least 2 years . I'm going to study languages and when I'll have my diploma I will leave this country as soon as possible and start a new life.

omg, you say english is not your mother tongue, but you speak it PERFECTLY!

OMG are you related to me? I thought my mom was the only one who hated her child. Mine would get drunk & take me with her to her favorite taverns. I was 5. I learned to drive @ 8. She got so jealous that my grandmtherr paid attention to me that I remember sitting on my grammy's lap & my mom came up & told het that I was a bastard. Grammy took me off her lap & would never speak to me again. On the way home I asked what a bastard was & when we got home she picked me up to the mirror & said. See your reflection? That is what a bastard is. Told her that the neighbor had touched me where he should not of & she beat me & told me I asked for it. Anytime I was happy she was mad. I fell in love when I was 17. She told him that i was a nymphomaniac. I was so ashamed that I left home. Met a good man & we have 7 children. My mother died in 2005 and I have never told him about her evil side. I made sure she thought I was unhappy so she would not tell him lies. After she died I was upset that she never told me she loved me and wanted to know why she hated me. Then I looked @ my children and felt sorry for her as she never got to know what a child's love was like & relized how blessed I really am. Get someone you can talk to & always remember you are a good person and start by loving yourself

my parents have never accepted a boyfriend of mine, but my siblings and their significant others are WELCOMED. in fact, they refused to even MEET my ex bf, who i was with 2.5 years. he had even offered to mow my gma's laundry so my mom wouldnt have to! i wasnt allowed to bring him to holidays or anything. i am a bit confused~was it both your grammy and your mom abusing you? im so sorry you have been thru what i have been thru.

Why can we "not hate our mother"? If this is said out loud people look at us like we have two heads. II commented earlier and have re-read the many comments and it seems that mothers can be the most hurtful people of all. The emothinal turmoil that they put us through is unbelievable. My mother used to be my best friend, but when my dad passed it was like the muzel was taken off and she became mean and self centered. She has called me every name in the book, she does not yell, but she is deadly. I have raised my children to stand on their own feet and I can honestly say that two of them are my best friends. One is in the service and one is just gone, out of the picture, but my mother doesn't understand why no one wants to be around her. She talks about their weight, she is not skinny by a long shot but she thinks she can say what she wants and that it is okay. She walks into the room and everyone finds something else to do so that they can leave. I could go on and on but she is driving me crazy and I was so glad I found this site.

precisely. the people that look at us like we have 2 heads are the ones with 0 hearts.

My mother doesn't yell, but she is self centered and always wants to be the center of attention. She and my dad divorced and then remarried. Why he married her again is beyond me. He never spent any time, or as little as possible with her but to listen to her he LOVED her and wanted to be with her all the time. Funny that is not how I remember it. When dad was diagnosed with cancer she once again tried to make her slef the center of everything. She would talk about how she sacrificed to take care of him, not. She still came and went as she wanted. When dad passed away she took on the name "WIDOW" like it was something special. I have since found out that my mother cheated on my father long before he ever cheated on her. Pay backs I guess on his part. I can't stand to be in the same room with my mother. She now lives with me and has made my life hell. She does nothing but eat and make messes and then tells me I never leave anything alone. Guess we all want to eat on dirty table and cook on dirty counters.

SWEET HART ITS NEVER EVER WAS YOUR FOULT . NEVER . all my love to you xxx jo

I know about the screaming thing, waking you up in the middle of the night for no reason, going into a tirade for nothing, insulting, crushing your soul. Just existing in my mothers presence seemed to set her off. I spent my entire childhood walking on eggshells. I hated her so much I would lay awake at night dreaming of burning the house down and getting my two sibblings out. Thank God I never did. What hurts the worst is the wanting her to love me. I found out years later my mother has borderline personality disorder. She hates herself and took it out on her children. The damage she has done is immense. I've spent years trying to reverse it. The only thing that works is not allowing myself to sink because she can't love me. I pitty her.

pitying her is the worst revenge!! i have heard that borderline personality disorder is a result of abuse~i wish i knew more about it bc sometimes i wonder if i have it myself. then again, my mom always used to say that "something was wrong with me, she just didnt know what"

My whole life my mother put me down as well and would say she would break my mouth till i bled if i told my father she was having an affair on him..She didnt care if the whole city knew she was a ****.She called me a **** and loser when i was still a virgin!!!!!My friends parents and friends would see my mother..I was very ashamed but,i hated her for treating me like i was in her way.she told me and my brother she hates us.The sad thing, i always still loved her and tried to please her in every way...I'm 36 now,and i realize that i better let her out of my life if she's gonna bring me down.But i have faith,that life has only made me stronger and something beautiful is about to be sent from God for all the suffering she has put me through.I have to keep positive,i dont want to die from cancer from having resentment in me....

My whole life my mother put me down as well and would say she would break my mouth till i bled if i told my father she was having an affair on him..She didnt care if the whole city knew she was a ****.She called me a **** and loser when i was still a virgin!!!!!My friends parents and friends would see my mother..I was very ashamed but,i hated her for treating me like i was in her way.she told me and my brother she hates us.The sad thing, i always still loved her and tried to please her in every way...I'm 36 now,and i realize that i better let her out of my life if she's gonna bring me down.But i have faith,that life has only made me stronger and something beautiful is about to be sent from God for all the suffering she has put me through.I have to keep positive,i dont want to die from cancer from having resentment in me....

aww. when i was raped of my virginity, my mom told me that i had "spread my legs", and she likes to tell me that my "sexual reputation precedes me". whaaaat??? i have only had sex with 3 guys, one of which was my rapist!! i was 22 when i was raped of my virginity, which i was saving for marriage! it's just utter bullshit!

Oh, man. So similar to my mother (and the headline would be similar, too, except I would add a year!)<br />
<br />
As a teen, I remember the ol' swipe every ob<x>ject off the top of a dresser/table/flat surface move. That was always scary. She never threw stuff at me .... her favorite was to pull a chunk of the hairs at the nape of my neck to get my attention (usu. in a public space) so she could yell at me and humiliate me. My friends were terrified of her. My siblings live nowhere near her and she has yet to grasp the reason, chalking it up to chance, job opportunities and geographical preference. Ha!

how that must have hurt, im so sorry:(

I totally relate to this. My mom did the same things! It took years to not sleep with my arm over my face because she LOVED to burst into my room, throw on the light while screaming at the top of her lungs at something I did. I also was told that I was ugly, fat, and stupid on a daily basis. That I was a loser and no one would ever want me. I'm 37 and also can't maintain a relationship. Men are attracted to me because of the way I look but then run away because I am needy or drama. I no longer speak to my mother (its been almost 4 years. When I stopped speaking to her, she called my aunt, uncles and cousins to play the victim and painted me out to be a horrible person with mental problems! No one except for 1 sister will speak to me. Even though ALL of them witnessed my abuse. I hate her so much. Two years ago my sister called me to say that our mom was in the hospital and all I could think was please, dear God, please let her die. I cannot wait until she is gone, maybe then I will feel free.

oh sweetheart, i totally know where you are coming from and my heart aches for you:( my mother has turned everyone against me. i dont know why they wont stand up for me when they KNOW what she is capable of!! that's the "beauty" of emotional abuse tho, isnt it? that others cant SEE your scars. (there was physical abuse too though, in my case)

After reading those comments I don't think my situation is as bad.<br />
<br />
When i think of my mom the word fake comes to mind<br />
<br />
She could be in the middle of giving out **** to me but then phone rings and shes like " oh Mary havnt talked to you in ages!!" as if nothing happened<br />
<br />
Everyday we fight!!! And I always end up running to my room and crying<br />
<br />
She gives out to me for the stupidest of things e.g. Yesterday I put a piece of paper down on a couple of crumbs, she lost it!!<br />
<br />
My dad works all day and comes home at night finding me crying and he believes everything my mom says but whatever I say is lies so most of the times he chooses to ignore me<br />
<br />
<br />
Recently I forgot to empty the dishwasher ( as I was busy doing the other stuff she left me) and she came home gave out crap to me and I wasn't allowed go for a walk with my friend, go to my other friends house or go on the laptop at all for that day!!<br />
<br />
Sometimes my mom gives out SOOOO much to me that afterwards she kinda feels bad so she comes upstairs and says she feels rotten everytime we fight, but within 5 mins shes almost ready to kill me!!<br />
<br />
Not as much nowadays because I will fight back but when I was younger my mom would hit me with wooden spoons and threaten to draw blood from me she would also kick me punch me call me names and one time I remember her throwing a glass at me<br />
<br />
My dad he's not too bad a little overprotective for my age (13) but that's normal he is quite strict like if you get on the wrong side of him it's no tv for the rest of the week and sit in the utility for the rest of the evening till he remembers your there<br />
<br />
I remember when I was younger I used to be terrified of my mother. Sometimes I was so scared she was going to kill me that I would go to sleep with a knife under my pillow. <br />
<br />
2 of my aunts and uncles have depression and so does my mom she has to take pills for it sometimes. I try to keep this in mind but it's really hard when shes chasing your little sister or brother around the kitchen trying to hit them, most of the time when that happens I intervene and try to take the hit instead<br />
<br />
I think I must have depression too but I won't go into it, I hate when I see other spoilt children just walking around saying oh yeah I'll get my mom to drop me or my mom will give me the money because I can just imagine what would happen if I asked my mom for any of that<br />
She would yell at me then put me down saying who do you think you are and stuff<br />
<br />
God bless you people and I hope you can stick through this till your 18 or older to get the hell outta that house and settle down and enjoy life for once :)

After reading those comments I don't think my situation is as bad.<br />
<br />
When i think of my mom the word fake comes to mind<br />
<br />
She could be in the middle of giving out **** to me but then phone rings and shes like " oh Mary havnt talked to you in ages!!" as if nothing happened<br />
<br />
Everyday we fight!!! And I always end up running to my room and crying<br />
<br />
She gives out to me for the stupidest of things e.g. Yesterday I put a piece of paper down on a couple of crumbs, she lost it!!<br />
<br />
My dad works all day and comes home at night finding me crying and he believes everything my mom says but whatever I say is lies so most of the times he chooses to ignore me<br />
<br />
<br />
Recently I forgot to empty the dishwasher ( as I was busy doing the other stuff she left me) and she came home gave out crap to me and I wasn't allowed go for a walk with my friend, go to my other friends house or go on the laptop at all for that day!!<br />
<br />
Sometimes my mom gives out SOOOO much to me that afterwards she kinda feels bad so she comes upstairs and says she feels rotten everytime we fight, but within 5 mins shes almost ready to kill me!!<br />
<br />
Not as much nowadays because I will fight back but when I was younger my mom would hit me with wooden spoons and threaten to draw blood from me she would also kick me punch me call me names and one time I remember her throwing a glass at me<br />
<br />
My dad he's not too bad a little overprotective for my age (13) but that's normal he is quite strict like if you get on the wrong side of him it's no tv for the rest of the week and sit in the utility for the rest of the evening till he remembers your there<br />
<br />
I remember when I was younger I used to be terrified of my mother. Sometimes I was so scared she was going to kill me that I would go to sleep with a knife under my pillow. <br />
<br />
2 of my aunts and uncles have depression and so does my mom she has to take pills for it sometimes. I try to keep this in mind but it's really hard when shes chasing your little sister or brother around the kitchen trying to hit them, most of the time when that happens I intervene and try to take the hit instead<br />
<br />
I think I must have depression too but I won't go into it, I hate when I see other spoilt children just walking around saying oh yeah I'll get my mom to drop me or my mom will give me the money because I can just imagine what would happen if I asked my mom for any of that<br />
She would yell at me then put me down saying who do you think you are and stuff<br />
<br />
God bless you people and I hope you can stick through this till your 18 or older to get the hell outta that house and settle down and enjoy life for once :)

PLEASE tell me how the hell your situation is any less dire than any of ours~your mother sounds like a WITCH!! i am so sorry you have to endure such torments! i have been there, and i am just now disowning my parents after 29 years. PLEASE talk to me any time you need to vent! take care of yourself, sweetie

one more thing..i have learned not to compare one person's pain to another's. just because one person has been through "more" than another, does not mean you suffer from any less pain than they do!!! WRITE THAT ON YOUR HEART.

Why are there non sense mother in this world, if only we can choose our mother we could have been a better person. The traumas we have been have affected us so much, others might not understand it, but its too painfull to handle. Hope evil mothers will be burn in hell!!

Why are there non sense mother in this world, if only we can choose our mother we could have been a better person. The traumas we have been have affected us so much, others might not understand it, but its too painfull to handle. Hope evil mothers will be burn in hell!!

My mother was involved with a married man whose wife was in a mental institution..Back in the 50's ..My mother was 8 months pregnant with me when he wife got out and he went back to his wife..My mother married a man she didn't love to save her reputation and had 2 sons with him..My first childhood memory was riding my tricycle at age 3..She was sitting on an apartment step holding Imy brother and ignoring me..I remember that hurt...I ran away and a few hours later they found me..I remember crying and that is all I remember..She told me years later I (got the beating of my life)..Anyway, she gave me to my grandmother at age 3 who raised me until I was 19..I loved my grandmother who taught me about God..I wouldnt be here now if it wasn't for her..She died 27 years ago..I now live with my mother in a big huge house where I have my own kitchen etc..The house is willed to me from her..I am taking care of her..Daily she mentally abuses me..She says I dont know how to take care of her..I do everything for her. Take her to the store, bank, doctor, vacations etc..water her flowers, carry in her groceries, after I buy them, go on cigarett runs at 2 oclock in the morning because she won't buy a carton .I think she buys a pack at a time just to spite me..She talks about me to my aunt's,uncles's, my daughter and son and oh yes if she is left alone with my friends..I have tried talking to her about how she treats me, it does no good..She will always think I am the one treating her bad..I have been called, lazy, no good, mental,bad tempered, nasty etc..Yesterday she told me that my aunt and her talked 27 years ago and said I was glad my grandmother died...WHAT A BIG LIE THAT IS...That is the straw that broke the camels back..I haven't talked to her after that for 3 days now..I am all business with her now..I take her mail to her and I dont talk, I am not talking anything personal to her only when I will have to..My husband has told me he is tired of the way she treats me and that If I want my marriage I better stay away from her as much as possible..If I move out she will give this house to my brother..She is evil..She causes problems with everyone..We go to church together and sit in the same pew..Last week I overslept so I hurriedly grabbed a blouse and skirt, put my hair up and put my earings on..I was about five minutes late for Sunday School..When I got there and started to sit down she said loud enough for everyone there to here..Why didnt you iron your blouse, look at it is all wrinkled..I was so embaressed that for the rest of the sermon I silently cried and wiped tears..When i comfronted her about the episode she said that the people in the churched dressed nice and I looked awful which embarassed her..EExcuse me where in the Bible does it say that we are to go to Church to look good..I thought we were to go there to learn and worship..She is a holier than thou super snob..My husband and I are street ministers..We help the homeless, prostitutes, runaways etc..My mother wound't stop and give a homeless person food or money because she thinks she is too good for them..I have prayed for her..I try to forgive her but I don't have to take this abuse anymore..I'm going on with my life and I am tired of feeling guilty for not doing enough..She is demon possesed and a true narcissist..I think most of these bad mother are..My own children love me and I always show them love and caring..I never want to be like her..She has made me a better person because I know how it feels to be hurt, unloved, judged..So I try not to purposely hurt anyonw..Thanks for listening...Wew, I feel better already...

girl, you needed to TALK!! im so glad you did! please contact me if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, as i may need one as well~we have been through so many similar things!!

Keep looking for your beshert, G-D sent mine and it sounds like out mothers are twins. Fight yourself and win, be happy allow your self to be loved. It is hard, they broke us that way.

Delete that woman from your life immediately. She isn't worth your time!!

I don't know why your still in contact with her. Kick her to the kerb as you need people in your life that want you and need you.<br />
<br />
My mother is similar to yours. Spitting, shocking, mean, self absorbed, etc.<br />
<br />
Your mother, like mine, has sown the seeds of negativity. Only you can burn the trees and re-plant some healthy seedlings. I think your worthy of that. <br />
<br />
Getting away from her is the most important thing you can do. I don't care how you do it just do it. Break that tether.<br />
<br />
I have not spoken to my mother in several years now and the personal development I have made is encouraging. It , like pantene treatment shampoo, doesn't happen overnight but it will happen.<br />
<br />
Be brave and banish that hideous woman to the life of loneliness she deserves and start to live a positive, nurturing and loving life.<br />
<br />
With love Peter.

I have a simple story and very similar feelings, towards my mother. I have come to believe that some people just aren't meant to be mothers. I think some people are just to selfish to give their child the love that they need and deserve. Parenting is a very selfless responsibility. When you become a mother, most women have this natural instinct, that makes them want to protect, adore, love, cherish, guide, mold, and nurture their child. For some reason I think that switch doesn't get flipped on in some women, and instead of wanting all those things, they become resentful and anxious over that level of responsibility. I think they find their child to be a burden instead of a blessing. Maybe our mothers just have a mental defect, that doesn't allow then to be the mothers we all deserved to have. Maybe they actually did the best they could and when they thought they couldn't do any better they checked out. <br />
<br />
This theory is the only thing that allows me to continue a relationship with my mother.

My mother also says that i didn't like to be touched, so she would just leave me crying in my crib .I do wonder now what was really going on .To this day when someone touches me it often feels uncomfortable

i truly believe that not being touched can be a cause of SO much pain and depression, and even suicidal thoughts. in the nazi era, they would leave tons of babies untouched, and the babies died of a condition called "failure to thrive". "failure to thrive" used to be my myspace name, because i have felt so unloved. i was barely touched for 3 years in my 20s, and i stopped loving and caring for myself entirely~it was the craziest thing!

NOW THIS IS MESSED UP!!!<br />
WHAT IDIOT WOULD WAKE YOU UP AT 2 IN THE MORNING THROWING A CUP OF JUICE AT UR FACE?!?!<br />
WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!

I know how you feel. I can relate to that. My whole life my mother has treated me wrong. She makes me feel like I was a mistake. I sometimes think that she wished she had aborted me. I think I am a good kid. I don't do drugs, I do all my homework, get decent grades and it still isn't enough. She constantly tells me that I'm lazy or stupid and that my boyfriend (which I don't have) should dump me. Yea she said that I should get dumped. I know when she's going to say mean things to me and verbally abuse me. So I've learned not to yell back and just take it. But it never works. She still taunts me, calls me lazy, self-fish. I know it shouldn't get to me but it really does. I blame her for my sensitivity. Sometimes when she verbally abuses me she makes me cry so much I get migraines from crying. I really want this abuse to stop but I feel like it never will. She treats me like dirt. She has favorites (my other two sisters) and I feel like the red-headed stepchild in my family.

I hate my mother cuz she never cared for me in anyway she beats me all the time and blame me for almost 99 pecrent of all the things she hates my father too and abuse both of us she loves both of her son and always try to make them happy fulfilling their needs she never asked me that what i want my father do care a lot for me but she.....never ever..i sometimes sit alone and think whether im her actuall daughter or not.......i really dont understand why she hates me what i have done??

i had a similar ***** of a mother.<br />
she would scream at us at 4 am in the<br />
morning.<br />
didnt even attend her burial.<br />
stupid *****.<br />
<br />
sure i really am screwed up.<br />
but i have faith. i will recover.

I haven't been through that yet. So like hi there. Well all you guys sound so old but I am only 14 years old. I am just tired of my mom. I don't blame her for trying to protect me and want me to do the right things BUT that doesn't mean that she has to act like ***** all the time. Now she doesn't let me out just because I came home late one day. I know I did wrong by not calling her or anything but there was a reason for that. I knew that once I would of called her she was going to ruin my whole day. And I wasn't even doing anything bad. I was with my best friend Lily and her family. I just didn't call my mom because for once in my life I actually felt comfortable with someone and felt like I had a little bit of freedom. But I guess my mom just can't understand that. And my friend is having her 15 in two weeks so since I know I can't go alone I ASKED MY MOM IF SHE WANTED TO GO WITH ME and she said "You know that you are not allowed to go out anymore" so I told her that's the reason WHY I ASKED IF SHE WANTED TO GO and she said no so I told her so what's the point! If she doesn't let me out and doesn't go with me then like seriously wtf and that started another fight like always. I just can't take it anymore. What hurts me the most is that she ruined our lives by bringing this guy which is now her ex boyfriend. Which is now the dad of my little sister. He was such a **** but no my mom had to be with him. And now she still sees him even though they don't live together. She says she does it "for my little sister" Like any other parent would say but my point is that how come she gets to do whatever the **** she wants even though she hurts me and other family members while I can't even go anywhere without her bitching.. So yeah sorry, I just had to let that out.

Wow! You sure have survived a lot. I am glad you made it out alive. I would seriously consider cutting her completely out of your life. You need to heal from the trauma inflicted upon you at such a young age, and you won't until it stops and you get help. I quit talking to my mom nearly 10 years ago. It's a huge relief not to have her constant criticism, negativity and abuse in my life. I also kept my children completely away from her, and most of my family. I joined support groups. It was not easy but I did it and you can too. Also, there is this really annoying myth in this country that no matter what your mom did to you, you're supposed to forgive her because she's a mother. Well, I think that is totally garbage. We didn't choose our relatives, but we sure can choose who is healthy for us. And your mom is a mess. And IMHO you'd be better off without her.

The key phrase is when you said your mother is self absorbed it sounds like she may be narcissitic, the world is to evolve around them and their needs. Mothers that are self absorbed are not tuned into the needs of their children and can be verbally and emotionally abusive. Your mother was probaby envious of the attention you recieved from your step father. If natural bonding didn't take place during infancy, it will not occur in adulthood. You may have to acept the fact that your doesn't love you because she is incabable and it has nothing to do with you. See yourself the way God created you, a loveable person. For your own sanity you may have to distance yourself from your mother to heal from the constant emotional wounding. I would also look up narcisstic mothers, she fits all the characteristics.

It's when I am filled with rage at some frustration in my life that I suddenly feel like a cripple, and feel hatred for my mother. It often seems that I wouldn't have such anger issues if I hadn't spent my childhood alternating between emotionally supporting my mother and fighting with her. There's something a little sick about being both the little man of the house and being nothing but a manipulative child that needs to be suppressed.<br />
<br />
She didn't stand up for me in life...and often turned on me. The one thing I always felt was loved, and as a teenager, that seemed to make up for all the f--k ups. But as I get older and see how anger has crippled me and stuck with me for my whole life, I can't help but feel some bitterness towards her.<br />
<br />
As a young mother, she left my first father who was a drunk, and married a Vietnam vet who was unstable. He broke my leg when giving me a bath as a child...spiral fracture...not super obvious till the leg swelled in the middle of the bone. She said I was afraid to walk in front of him. She let him make me eat in another room for a while because I ate too slow. When she left him, I was stuck with his last name...she changed hers back to her maiden name.<br />
<br />
As I read about neural plasticity, it seems to me that this instability and violence at a young age probably somewhat shaped the way I process information and the way I view relationships with others.<br />
<br />
Later I got tied to my bed for an afternoon when a girl from school knocked on the front door and relayed some of the things I'd yelled at her, and once I had to ride home from church in the trunk of the car. For the most part there wasn't that much physical abuse, beyond the spankings, but I felt there was always a struggle for control, and I wonder...why would an adult struggle for control with their child? What child can feel secure when their parent is one moment screaming at them and telling them they are evil and manipulative, and the next minute crying and apologizing.<br />
<br />
Her lack of self esteem combined with a competitive nature to mean that I wasn't allowed to feel better about myself than she did...and it's this that fills me with the most anger, and what I often hate her for the most. The worse you feel about yourself, the worse you will act, and it becomes a viscous cycle.<br />
<br />
The only redemption I see for myself, and my mother (in my eyes), is if I could overcome my low self esteem, take control of my life instead of telling myself I'm too weak, and then raise a child in the manner I wish I was raised. In grade six, around the time I had my first dog's head chopped off for eating chickens, in a pre-scheduled execution that my mother stood aside for, someone at school asked about girls and marriage. My response was that I wanted to have children so I could do a better job than had been done for me. This at an age when the other boys didn't really like girls or see much use for growing up.<br />
<br />
For some reason that response on my part has always stuck with me, and as I get older and still find myself not ready to reproduce, it really upsets me.<br />
<br />
BTW I love Gogol Bordello's song "Your Country"..."Your country raised you, your country fed you, and just like any other country it will break you." I think this is true, and wonder how parents can do a good job in a world that doesn't care if they do a good job.<br />
<br />
And then I listen to what happens in other countries, and it just sounds like I'm singing the First World Blues.<br />
<br />
This whole planet needs to check it's head, and it's only going to happen one person at a time.

wow..........i am so sad and shocked to hear that some mothers have anything else but love for their children.........i do pray for all of you to find peace in your souls and strength to do whats best for you............you can not allow your mothers to torture you.no one has the right..........if they are not interested in creating good and happy relationship i would cut them out of my life.........i know mother is just one...but we have only one life and one nerves!

"Blood curdling, lip curling, snarling, mean, spit or slap you in the face screaming." --Great desc<x>ription!!! I know what this is like because my mother did this exact thing to me. You described MY mother's behavior perfectly here too. I am sorry you had to go through that. I know what it feels like.

oh mine too!!! i had a dream about it once, and it was so SCARY. i woke up so angry with her. it is like demons have possessed her and she is verbalizing VENOM and ABSOLUTE, PURE HATRED. it's unreal and so hard to explain! it is one of the most painful things i can imagine. it seems no one but the victims GETS THIS!!! so THANK YOU SO MUCH

Have you had therapy? Recovering from disaster parents is tough, maybe therapy can help you find and free yourself from your egg-donor. Don't worry, you will be in the relationship you want when the real you can come out and play. It happens when it happens, there are lots of single women our age and not because we're not worth it (although my Mom has issues too so I am not a good example hehehehe) hey at least we're not dating jerks so score one for us right?

I hate that mom. She just said like dat coz she just felt heaven in there. Later she would be de same. It's a horrible thinking but it happens to me all the time. I SERIOUSLY admire how you can control yourself and not burst out/

Sounds like your mom is narcissistic. I know this, because I have lived it. My mother "tried" to control me for 26 years until she finally realized she can't. And then she turned on me. These mothers try to control their children by verbal abuse. Constantly telling you how terrible at everything you are, you can't do anything, everyone really hates you, your not as pretty, making fun of you in front of friends and boyfriends. Having family and close friends of theirs "gang" up on you to "make you see the light". The list could endlessly go on. When my mother turned on me, the true evil in her came out. She went as far as telling our whole family that my husband rapes me and that he has me in a cult. It is so crazy. I finally rid myself of that nastiness. My life isn't always wonderful and perfect, but it isn't filled with craziness and confussion. I have't talked to her in over 3 years, and for about 7 years there hasn't been any real kind of realationship with her, and it is an answered prayer. I seriously prayed to God to get her out of my life. I lost my younger brother and father because of it (they have stuck by her side), but I am free, and my husband and children are getting a better version of me becasue of it. Rid yourself of this plaque you call a mother. She is holding you back from truely finding freedom and happiness. Your mother should be looking in the mirror and saying that stuff, because she is really talking about herself, not you. Look up "narcissistic dissorder" and you will find a lot of helpful sights that will help to bring closure to your wonds.

i feel sad about this. :( honestly, my mom always make me feel loved by her so i can't share any life experience just like yours. but only one thing that i can say, there's still a chance that things might turn upside down(if she's still alive). i read an article on kenneth copeland ministries, a life story like yours. the only difference is her dad is the one "messed up". at the age of 40, God just told her to visit her dad weekly. at first she resisted, but it came to her mind that her dad is not gonna live any longer. so she visited him on a weekly basis.and there was a time that they went out to spend the father's day together. and at the end,(when the dad was already bed-ridden), their father-and-daughter relationship was restored and the dad died. it was a happy ending indeed and i'm sure it ain't impossible to happen to you too. wanna send your home address and whole name at my mail? so i could ship the life changing magazine to your residence at a monthly basis for free, i assure you, you won't pay anything. my mail. artiste_21@yahoo.com. it's your choice. God bless you :))

Sounds much like my mom. At times I thought I would hate her until I cursed her out a few times and she stopped the manipulation and controlling behavior because I would not bend to it anymore. It started to repair my self esteem, because she knows now she can no longer control me.

Good that you found out that she controls you.

i felt lik reading parts of my life story.

Well, for one thing, don't continue the cycle! There are more self absorbed women in this nation that anywhere in the world. What kind of mom won't put her child first? The ones we have right here in the USA. "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Sadly pathetic, but true. No one is happy all the time and mama's happiness should be that her children and family are well fed, nurtured, and loved.

OMG , eye'm not alone .<br />
Thank GOD because if u say this in public specially here at Africa many<br />
People will insult U and hate U without hearing U ?<br />
Even the religious leaders will not be nice or listen to U? <br />
<br />
Truly my mum hate me since childhood she put all<br />
her anger at me! With full force sometime I wonder if I am her son , trust me !<br />
when she have problem with my father , brother ,sister, I have my share of her anger sometime 50% so u can imagine if the problem is between me her : the whole city will know .<br />
For attacking me she have many attack skills : From nasty word to insult and much to her pleasure she like cursing and hope that all my business and work to fall .<br />
She hope that if I marry she ask GOD that my marriage must not last !<br />
yeah in our world it is not easy to say that your mother hate U ! no one will listen to u , thanks to the net we can hide and say some truth , she help and work hard to break up my marriage she push my wife against me ! I was living in family house but yet she there everywhere I go ! If I say to wife for example do this my wife will call and ask and she will <br />
Say do not what he ask! If she someone love relatives or friends she will hate that person. <br />
She turn my friends to enemies and hoes by telling them that I don't love her and all the negatives and nasty words about me ! for her I am the real Evil ! my boss is wise if not she want to tell him nasty thing about me .<br />
her PR war against me was somehow good for her the reason she able to : to set hate between me and my brothers and sisters , uncles ,friends , house workers everyone come close to me or to family . <br />
When I was in problems she told people that I am nothing and I will be nothing.<br />
She told relatives that I am pagan and that I practice magic and that I work with Evil, devil, demon , witchcrafts !!!<br />
for her I am the most ugly human in Africa , so when she saw my ex-wife she wonder how <br />
get this beautiful lady and that I do not any right to get her .<br />
The most stupid human that GOD create and all the nasty and dirty comments on the earth<br />
Is my daily breakfast , yes early in the mooring attack when I was family house and far by help of my wife who was playing the same way like mother ! <br />
<br />
when I am happy she is sad , when I am sad she is happy !<br />
but at USA ,Asia ,Africa who can say that his mother hate u ! people will say : if your mother hate why she carry u for about 9 month ?! Ok for them they can read this!<br />
<br />
but thank I pray GOD and he gave the way out of family house the option is to avoid mother now I stay at my own house so I am free , yeah as good child I call and come to see her every two days she said now that she miss but truly if stay for 10 minutes she will be nice but if stay more she will begin the old school ways : nasty words , nasty comments , your bother is better than u ! u r nothing , u r ugly , u r stupid , u r , u r.<br />
I put master plan and I understand that I have keep myself as much far from her<br />
And since I am not in the house , thank GOD I can keep long distance from her <br />
She try and tell my father that since I am not married , why I stay far ?!<br />
She is trying to bring me back to house hell in order to continue her show but<br />
No way . ( kindly if u have any master plan help me ) the reason At Africa if u ask your mother to go to see psychologist that will be the end of the world even educated people<br />
Will see the truth but the culture will win over reason! Yes people will say : this man <br />
Is bad and this will confirm her negatives words about me, the funny thing here she ask <br />
Us as her children to go and see psychologist for her she fine and other are crazy, for her we have problems!<br />
To be honest my brothers and sisters many of them do not give her any change if she talk<br />
Aloud and shout at them they will reply in most violent way and many time I am the one who stop them because I can see that some of them will try to slap but yet she praise as heroes and king ! My bothers are kings and my sisters are queens! They do not even care about her! <br />
I was very soft was her and caring but the result is insult and I try to do the same way like others to be violent but it did not work.<br />
My Mother wants to see down and she meant it and she want other children to be better than me and she says it loud! In her ways She love to compares me to brothers and sisters and that they are all pretty and clever and that she do not know from which planet I come .<br />
<br />
If I love a type of music she will insult the singer , when I like a football team she pass all the day talk about how that team is bad and when my best team lose any game she will be happy and keep talking about it for hours for this celebration event .<br />
When my devoted friends come she will ignore later she will try to tell them how I am bad <br />
And if they care about that she will begin saying : I do not want to see your friends at family and house and that my friends must call before coming and get her approval but my brother and sisters friends are welcome anytime , sometime I think she is my step mother ! GOD forgive me !<br />
Yes I am not angel and I am not devil.<br />
<br />
<br />
To the whole world I call for : SOS ,911..etc

I can some-what relate to this. Honestly, you need to think your worthy of dating someone. Don't let her words get to you because there just that... words. Words can not hurt you, it's a mind thing. My dad used to mentally and emotionally abuse me. Sometimes verbally too. It got to the point where I actually believed him, and couldn't let or keep anyone close to me because I was afraid of getting hurt. Over the years I learned that I need to believe in my self, and I need to love myself for someone else to do the same. We can't expect someone to love us if we don't love ourselves.

Thank you for sharing your story. I don't feel so alone in this messed up crazy world. :)

Sounds like my mother to the core...I dropped mine like a wet sack of pototoes...and I can actually say I have been released from her negative hold...and have I have never been happier.

only if you want many more years of pain and heart ache.......the woman that adopted me was a witch......she didnt like me and made it that clear. she and her husband went on to adopt my little brother then they had a son of thier own.......... lets play favourites.<br />
Me and my little brother were flogged and beaten on a regular basis when life was going well for those adult monsters...but hey we deserved it!!!<br />
She died 19 years ago and Im sooooo happy.<br />
I understand how she got to be the way she was..her mother abondoned her when she was 8 years old.....<br />
but it doesnt make things any better.<br />
People like that just keep taking and taking as to do anything else would mean that they have to address their own inadequacies.

It makes me so upset. I am 32 divorced raising a son. I am beautiful and very accomplished because I chose that for me. I feel like I come from an unloving irresponsible mother. How do you appreciate someone who is constantly putting you down. Who says "You are so lost... ever since you "anything I achieved or succeded greatly in"... then turns to friends and is like "that's MY daughter!!!" Yeah, she does this, this, and this. (Takes credit for my successes that she did not SUPPORT in the beginning, middle, end)... I remember when I would get sick, it was like I would be punished for being sick, left alone to my own devices, throwing up alone. Mother ALWAYS crying and NEVER talking. Say things like "Why'd I have a daughter, blah, blah, blah" to my face. Then says that I never listen and then says I do not respect her, and where she comes from Respect is #1. Or, "Why do you hate me?" Would you respect this lady if you were me. She's gotten her friends to circle me and admit me into a mental hospital at one time because I had big dreams and was acting out!!! which brought my dad into the scene and when my mom saw my dad she said, "don't I look pretty?" My friends thought it was funny... I say go find respect somewhere else. I am so thankful GOD gave me a child. I now know what LOVE is and LIFE is GOOD. I listen to my son and his needs and feelings and I am very caring. I did not know any of these things about myself. So, I relate to these mother daughter relationships where mom never really cared. I am not in a committed relationship with a loving man and I would like to be. My mother raised me to be alone and said to me NEVER depend on a man. Everytime I would be in a real relationship with a man, my mother would disappear and act ignorant and ignore the fact. A most loving relationship (i learned about love from my son- pathetic, huh!) was so surreal to me, and I could not recognize that someone actually loved/liked me, so the relatonship would crumble because I just did not know how to be in a loving man/woman relationship. My father cheated on my mother when I was a little girl and my mother demanded for them to stay together until the kids went to college and don't tell the kids (although we already knew) and dad wouldn't come home and mom was always crying for 8+ years day after day..... Mom always saying, "you guys are so lucky, I let you guys do whatever you want" Need I say more.... I was molested when I was a child and in my high school and college years the boys/guys just (*^%** me, while other kids were learning about each other and falling in love????? Been to therapy to deal with that aspect. Today, all my friends live in expensive houses in relationships for many years, my girlfriends luv me and my son to death and I am a single mother trying to survive. Mom remains in the picture as Grandma. Would you work on the mother/daughter relationship here?

No

no and wow, I think there are too many mothers out there who should not have had children. Why put us htrough all of this, when most of our friends have had normal mothers. Its a shame. you are brave to continue with a toxic relationship.

Reading this is bringing up memories of my mother. She would scream at me for hours every day.I'm working up to writing my own story about it,where I will go into the details...Thankfully I got her out of my life,and I have been healing more and more as the years go by.I hate it when people say "You should talk to her,she is your only mother,you need to have a relationship with her.".Since when was she a mother to me? It ****** me off,because they don't know what it is like to be screamed at constantly and told you are a worthless piece of sh*t 20 times a day.

Second that.

Dang thats messed up i hate mom so much i have my moments with her but shes so fricken annoying she always tells me to respect her
But how could i do that if she doesn't do the same for me

Your story took such courage to tell, I dont know that I could. By reading your words, it is easing my own process to heal and let go. Thank you.