Until The Last Breath

((hugs))

Closing this chapter... learning to forgive myself instead.

may you get happiness here and here after.~sunshines~

Thank you for your words of support, Red. Even if I try to explain, I can not. Our lives were just too knotted and to pry it apart is like knife slicing through my skin. I can never have the courage to stop the knife... *hugs*...

People are really good at hiding who they really are by masking themselves with what is known as good intentions. Sounds to me that your mum is the type of person who has had a terribl;e life and inn order to make up for it, she must live her life over through you. What pains me is that when yuo are a child, you think that your parents can do no wrong and that they are infalible. the shock is, they aren't. These are one of many things that would pull the rug out from under a family. Deception, hate, self centerness and lies. You had to do what you think is right sylph and there is no reason for you to have to explain. The word evil says it all.

Words... or maybe I can call you WoW... too cute... I bounced to your story, read and commented on it before I wrote here. We do lead similar lives... how uncanny that is... or perhaps I have been blinded, too by my own hatred that I failed to see what is happening around me.



Strange, too that we have names to call our mothers, and not as moms... nightmare, disastrous fate, tragedy... I call her as my dark past, my bane, my burden...



I wish you peace... *hugs*...

Sylph13

You and I might have grown in a totally 2 different countries and cultures, BUT, we do share the same exact pain, I'm afraid for my husband's health now because he is trying to pull me out of my pain and I'm not able to let go.

I hate to call her my mother, I can call her my nightmare, my desastrous fate, my tragedy. but mother that's too much credit for her.

I wish I can do exactly the same what you're doing I want to cut her off my life, but she is chasing me to wants "money" and other stuff.

but trust me we do have the same exact stories, me too, just mentioning one of her stories to you members will keep you shocked for a week.

Isn't it wonderful? It's like you're best friends, no?



*Sylph struts...*... That'll be wicked and naughty, Taken... *batting eyelashes*...

Oh, I don't know about not letting fairies down there... where do the wicked faeries go??



Thank you, Taken... it must have been very difficult for you to comment here. And in doing so made you stronger as well. We just have to make good in our lives that we don't end up like them. It is a lesson learned........... *hugs*...

I was raised as a Catholic... but have grown away from it in my adult life. Hence, I hear my own self arguing about this in my head.



Okay... maybe not hell... purgatory... though this is just a state of being... until saved...... but who shall save me but myself? ..........aaahhh... confusing...

No, you should not feel bad. The Ten Commandments must be read from the viewpoint of common sense. There are parents about so evil and monstrous that you cannot "honor" them. As always, there is an invisible line. Parents who flagrantly torture and maybe kill their offspring are clearly on one side of it. Most will be clearly on the other side. There will the difficult cases, which hover around the line, of course.



Leaving your case aside, I hardly know any families where there are not serious fallings out, which can last for a lifetime. An elderly relative of mine, who nearly died in January, still refuses to be reconciled to his son, who has not even done anything very wrong, and slams the phone down whenever he tries to call him.



In your case, there are good reasons for feeling the way you do.

Yes, Roj... I stay away... I let my family stay away......... that's one of the reasons I agreed to live here... to be away....... from her...

Wow Sylph. I'd missed this story. And would probably write paragraphs along the lines of previous commentors. Ending with... you're definitely not a bad person. Sometimes you can work to change people, other times you're stuck with what you've got, and staying away can be the best for all concerned.

It did help, Rog... such darkness in our past is always difficult to deal with. Friends would often ask about her, why I don't talk about her... I always come up with a joke about it because I can never tell them. My hubby's family do not ask, either. Though one time, my sister-in-law asked me about their niece who refused to talk to her mom who left them when she was only barely two. Because the niece, who was a teenager at that time, was and still is very close to me, my sis in-law opted to ask for my help and bridge the gap, so to speak. I told my sis in-law... "You are clearly talking to the wrong person. I happen to side with your niece". They never bothered asking me about my mom after that.



Sometimes, I feel I am such a bad person for being like this. But if it would take the heavens to send me to hell for disobeying one of the Ten Commandments, just for me to protect my family... then I shall go to hell then.

It is never easy for a child to write about a parent, especially a mother, like this. But not all parents are good, or love their children. Every year, I read numerous stories about parents who kill (and sometimes torture to death) their child(ren), either individually or together. As the Austrian Fritzl and other notorious cases show, there is no limit to the depravity of some parents. While your mother is not at the extreme end of abusive mothers, she is clearly so bad that it is better for all concerned if she plays no part in your family’s life. This obviously causes you pain and embarrassment, but I am sure that most reasonable people would understand where you are coming from. It is sad that you do not have this relationship: no doubt, when other people talk about their moms, you feel pain, not because of your decision, but because circumstances have deprived you of a relationship which most daughters take for granted.

It was clearly difficult for you to write this story. I hope it helped.

A sweet revenge....... sworn and committed....... a fairy vow........

*hugs to you, too*.......... Thank you again, More.......

I'm sure you're a great mother, Sylph. That probably is the best 'revenge' you can take. And the most beautiful too!

(((hugs)))

*Sylph hugs More*......... it's a sad tale...... one that may leave me scarred for life...... and what I can do now is just make it better for the next generation........ making sure that I won't get pushed in the closet..... thanks, More........

it's so terribly sad. A mom should be there to be loved and return the love she gave. Apparently not all of them are worthy of that most noble name. to be a mother should be adorable...

Dean......... So what did you figure out, ay? What about being a daddy's girl???



K........ thank you....... *hugging you back*......... It is always the kids who suffer... having too much, too less, or none at all is each difficult for the children....... There really is no handbook to be a perfect parent...... but parents must always strive to give their very best to their children, in whatever capacity they could........ Otherwise, I do not understand why have the children in the first place.....

I hope things work out better with your child and ex.....

I am so sorry Sylph.

Your relationship or lack thereof makes me jarringly think on the relationship my ex husband is having (not having...) with our child.

It is the kids who suffer adults' stupidity, cruelty and neglect.



(((Hugs))) K.

Daddys girl! Figures.

Dean....... aaahhh.... not too tight now........ can't breath...... ack, ack............ okay, thanks!



Ever..... thank you...... since I was young, I did not really talk to her much... the mom-daughter relationship never existed. I was just there for her as an excuse, using me to get her way and wants. The people were so blinded to see this, so stupid not to realize it before. It took years for them to finally understand what was going on... some even blamed me for not saying anything (talk about support, huh?)....... I am closer with my dad, being the eldest, a daddy's girl to the very core... but he passed away when I was 13....... and I am certain this is one reason for my mom's wickedness....... aside from that, my mom is just a mental case......... *Sylph shoves dark past again in the closet*............. *hugs*

I'm so sorry Sylph, i totally understand. I hardly bother with my mum now, she has tried to ruin my marriage so many times. She can be so evil as well.....she's a nasty piece of work. I'm giving you a big hug right now because i know when times are hard alls you need is a proper mum to talk to, like any daughter would, and we've got what we've got. My mum once thought it would be funny to tell a shop assistant and the rest of the shop how she never wanted me and how "....kids ruin your life". Or another of my favs is telling some random person that there's nothing right with me from my head my @*%£!.



Basically i know how you feel......i'll always be here for you *hugs* xx

My brave Fairie.*((((((((HUGS))))))))*

Haha...

Correction though........... Super Fairy........ ;)

Yes, you are a super woman. I'm amazed.

*Sylph pushes dark past in the closet again*



Don't be sorry, Jimmy. It's just the way it is. I've come to live with this fact already. But when people ask about her, that's when I get messed up. She screwed me up big time. I'm just glad I'm Super Sylph and I could whack my way out of anything... or at least I try........ thank you, Jimmy.... *hugs*

Sylph, I'm glad you are able to write this much. Try not to hate, even though you do need to protect yourself and your family. I have known very good people who have had to make hard decisions like yours. My Grandmother never saw her mother after about the age of 20. I'm so sorry. :(