I Really Do

when people say ''aww you dont really mean that...'' YOU DONT KNOW ME NOR MY MUM
sorry do you REALLY know what i mean? no so dont say that!

in life we have a choice of friends/boyfriends/girlfriends etc. but we dont choose who our parents our! my hypothesis is, if she was a stranger and i were to meet my mum in a bar and get chatting with her the likelyhood is i would want to leave ASAP but becasue i have been forced to grow up with this woman with my brothers respecting her my father loving her i socially learnt and adapted to the typical family structure!

The thing is were 2 completely different people with differnt views, no one has EVER said im so like my mum because im NOT (thank god)

the sad thing is im a ***** to her, when she tries to be nice to me i push her away, i want a mother role in my life just not her, i think these problems occured during my early stages of anorexia, now its worse i want to be alone, i dont want her seeing me, being near me
when she goes to see family in ireland for months i am SO happy with her not araound and get so depressed when i know she will be home again soon.
i really honestyl dont think i would miss her or be overly distraught if she were just to disappear from my life....

im such a ***** for saying that tbh i dont even know why she would want me as a daughter....
korbutflip korbutflip
18-21, F
Dec 1, 2012