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My Neighbor Is Driving Me Nuts!

I just bought my first home about a month ago. I love my little house and I got a great deal. I'm a young, single guy. I'm fresh out of college and just starting my career. My house is in a small subdivision built about 10yrs ago with roughly 15 homes. These are lower-middle class homes and nothing fancy. Starter homes. Brand-new, they sold for around $90k. Thanks to the real estate market, they're selling for about half of that. Half of the homes have become rentals. The other half are owned by young people like myself and working class middle-age folks. Everyone has seemed quite friendly, waving to me when they drive by if I'm outside.

Unfortunately, one of my next door neighbors is beyond intrusive and obnoxious. He's fanatical about his property and keeps it spotless. As much as I can appreciate that, he expects me to keep my property up to HIS standards. That's just not going to happen, nor is it reasonable. He expects it though! In fact, he practically demands it on a weekly basis from me. I'm really getting at my wit's end with this guy. I pressure washed the vinyl siding and driveway. I keep my lawned mowed. I keep things looking pretty clean. Most neighbors wouldn't ask for anything more from me. Most REASONABLE neighbors, that is. Every week since moving in to the house, he's come over to my house so he can explain to me why my property isn't up to his standards. He's even gone so far as to make shallow threats. Statements such as "You'd better keep your grass cut or else you'll have to deal with me". It wasn't said in a light-hearted, joking manner. He made that statement to me the day the realtor was showing me the house, before I even bought it! That's how crazy he is. I guess that was God trying to warn me. I should have listened.

I honestly don't even want to be outside and enjoy my yard because he ALWAYS comes over to harass me about something. That's really upsetting for me. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. It's gotten so bad that I dread coming home and pulling into my driveway, for fear he'll be outside. He's always outside. He spends all of his time outside. He sits in his driveway until 10 or 11 at night, every night. It's obvious he hasn't got much of a life away from his house. If he left me alone, I wouldn't care. But since he's always in my face, it's a problem.

Last Sunday, I strategically waited to mow my lawn until I was fairly certain he wasn't home. After mowing the lawn, I went to Wal-Mart to pick up odds and ends. Wouldn't you know that when I got home and pulled in to my driveway there he was standing in his driveway, all of 10ft away. Literally as soon as I started exiting my car he commanded me to put my bags down and follow him in to his garage. Stupidly, I did. He pointed to a bag of dandelion killer in his garage and said "That stuff kill dandelions. Use it on your yard. I don't want it contaminating my nice grass" I responded "I know what that is. I'm not interested". I started walking out of his garage. He walked in front of me to stop me, as he typically does, and said "How about this, I'll use it on your yard and you can give me $20/mth to pay for it." Can you believe the nerve of this guy!? I told him simply, NO, to which he responded "F*** you!" and promptly walked away. This is one of MANY stories where he crossed the line with me. If he wants to spend thousands of dollars on his property (and I mean that quite literally), that's his business. Although I think a stupid move in a neighborhood such as ours. He'll never get his money back when he sells. He can't expect me to do the same, but he does anyway.

He has absolutely no understanding of social and personal boundaries. I heard him talking very loudly close to my house. So, I peeked out my kitchen window to see him in my driveway, leaning on my car. Several other times, I heard noise in my backyard, so I looked out my living room window to see him in my backyard. I just want to yell at him "GET OFF MY F****** PROPERTY!" I also want to tell him "MY PROPERTY IS MY BUSINESS, KEEP OFF OF IT AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" I feel THAT invaded to become a rather unpleasant person. I'm actually a very nice guy and mild mannered. I generally keep to myself and try to be respectful of others. This guy is driving me crazy though! I don't want to hear him or see him. Most importantly, I want to be left alone! I want to be able to step outside and feel at peace, not on edge waiting to be pounced on. I've never felt so alienated from anywhere I've ever lived before. There's so much more I could share, but I'm sure he'll provide me with future stories to share with you.
palebeachbum palebeachbum 26-30, M 6 Responses May 8, 2012

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You have my neighbor! I am afraid to go out in my yard too.. And this is my first home as well. My neighbor used to mow the lawn for the previous owner for $40 a week.. I figured I'd do it myself and save the money. Then I find out he used to paint, mow, trim bushes, do plumbing modifications and landscaping on my property for the previous owner. (I immediately felt like I didn't own my own property when this guy started talking to me). He knew everything about what was underground, and had a ton of ideas of how I could keep upgrading the property with his help.. Frankly I was looking forward to taking my time and doing it right, not just jumping into a bunch of expense. So I told him that, and he still just shows up in my yard trimming things, mowing without being asked, shoveling weeds out by my driveway.. Then he acts like I owe his something, so he brings computers over for me to fix (he found out I work in that trade). I told him from the get-go that the landscaping he did for the previous owner would not be happening anymore.. And told him I have 2 jobs, and kids and a yard and house to maintain, not to mention other personal obligations.. He shows up unannounced. Comes over even when I go to work and snoops around.. He roundups my yard without asking. And he's loud loud loud, and talks about how everyone has done him wrong.. I almost wish I was brave enough to tell him off. It sounds like you were brave against your neighbor when he told you to come over into his garage.. If you don't live in a covenant restricted neighborhood telling you you have to have a lawn; I'd get out the roundup and a rototiller right in front of that neighbor of yours and tear up my lawn. Then I'd weed-tarp it, and have a whole bunch of rocks brought in to make a permanent rock garden.. I'd also get a loud car alarm so if that turd touches your car again it'll scare him away. Maybe act like your sick when he comes up to you too. Cough like crazy. That scared off my annoying neighbor pretty well a couple times (I was desperate). But he always comes back (Ugh). Makes me feel bad that I have to lie and scheme just to feel peace in my own property.. But that's life! And when a neighbor acts like a bully, you just never know how much is safe to tick them off.. So I lean on the side of caution with the control freaks (They often own guns and make many idle violent threats about people that have 'wronged them') Good luck to ya. And keep standing up for your property rights, and keep saying, I bought a house of my own so I could make my own decisions in life. Thanks for the recommendations, but I have to take this at my own pace. It'll **** him off, but keep saying it. OR just start coughing and act weak when he comes near LOL

Wish there was a way to put these jerky neighbors together somehow (mine included) so they can just harass each other! I love my house but reaching the end of my rope with my idiot neighbor and his nuicance dogs. His last royal maneuver was to take a weed wacker to my arborvitaes, all completely on my property. Security cameras don't catch the crap he does at night. Could be worse - he could have annoying dogs!

Your too nice. Go off on this guy he cant tell you what to do to your own property hes a ***** and dont go in hos garadge again lol

I had a very similar experience with some narcissists. They were a trip. It took a long time and was very stressful. Unfortunately people like this understand only force. It is very hard but his intimidation tactics need to be confronted legally. If he doesn't like it too bad.

I feel for you. I am in similar situation, the only thing i am at work all day long and the neighbor that is bothering me and my husband is all day long at home, so he can do whatever he wants and we have no idea... I am shopping the survelience cameras now... <br />
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:( we ust bought the house and I am already praying for opportunity to sell it bcz I just fed up fighting... why you always have to have 1 jerk who distroys your day??

Moobi, share with me what's going on with your crumby neighbor. Maybe I can provide some advice. I'm curious to hear what's going on.

Thanks for sympathy :) suuuuuch a long story ... :) but in short story - our neighbor is redneck and lives and thinks that he does not have to obey the law... so messed up in the head, that I am even tired to think about him and all the problems he is given us...

I have found that if you talk to the code inspectors and see about a fence and also having the police tell him to stay the F@!k off your property works well also. Even a four foot tall fence just to stop him works. Plus security cameras are a great way to stop a wholes. If when you pull in your driveway he is on your left then back in and put your car in between you and him. I carry a fire arm with me to even check my mail now and don't go out front unless I have to. A privacy fence and a nice cubby whole spot in the back yard where no one can see you is very nice. Besides that if all else fails round up your whole front yard and then you dont have to mow and he doesn't have to worry about weeds. I have also gotten to the point where I don't even want to come home but it will get better but you will just have to put him in his place and if all else fails press charges on him and make sure you document everything thing and get pictures to back that up. Good luck and let me know how it goes and any more details so I can brainstorm.