Sad Ones

my dads a fire fighter and he douse well all the time. When i was little he would be on duty but at the house i still remember me sleeping in his bed and hearing the loud radio go off. i would always jump, the next thing i here is my dad getting ready the would tell me that he loves me and leaves the only way i can go back to bed is by crying myself to sleep. I always have the same dream and i still do. I would go to school with my hair and make up done perfectly i get asked out by my number one crush i ace the test and out of no where i get called out off class. when i come out i see the fire truck and i go twords it one of the firefighters tell me my dads stuck in a fire and he wants to talk to me before he dies. ME, nnot ashley not my mom ME! i talk to him on the radio crying and he tells me he loves me and to be strong for my mom and sister. To grow up and be succesful. Not to be emonational.the whole time im in tears i cant handle it i yell i need you u cant leave me im yelling so loud my class comes out. i leave school crying balling. the next day remembering my dads words i go to school trying not to cry. its hard not to cry when ur class mates your so called friends and boyfriend all teased me i wanted to die but i couldnt. i woke up every morning at 5:30 am to wake up my mom and older sister make cofee and breakfast and get ready. then i would wake up crying.