They Dont Understand

My mom is a huge smoker and always coughing she started when she was 12 and now shes 50, plus shes a big alchohalic well i think so she doesent, but just the other day here friend wanted to come over for a beer but she said i think im good i already have had 5[3 oclock]. and my dad isent as bad but he agrees with her on everything and he drinks alot too.they get so mad at me for little things like i will ask whats for dinner and she will yell and say I dont know. they say that everything is my fault but its soo hard becouse i know its not becouse shes always wasted and thats why she thinks its my fault or we get in the fights while shes wasted then the next day she says i did everything and make me sound terrible to everybody. and thats when we get in big arguments and i will admit i get to the point where i call her names or pinch her then she goes and tells her friends and family [ the ones that come over all the time to use our pool] that i hit her and make me sound so bad. when i was little we got in fights too and she would say things like i hate ur guts but she still says that now. it makes me so mad becouse i used to be so social and fun and energetec now im only 14 and i can barely talk to anyone becouse of them, its not that im bad looking i have blond hair blue eyes and fit, but i cant get over the confadence thing its so hard what could i do to have more confadence?another way they will get mad at me is if shes coughing and i sayu should try to quit then she will blow up at me same wuth my dad.. they also ruin my goals, in 6th grade i used to weigh about 175 pounds they told me that im fat and couldent lose weight. now its two years later im taller older and i weigh 135 that dident even boost my confedence. anther way they ruin my goals is i wanted to join football but they told me i would get wrecked and  wouldent do good. i just would rather have parents that at least dident make me look terrible,tell me a way where i can get my confadence up too. i wish i could type more but i have to get out of bed.
pandaman14 pandaman14
13-15, M
Jul 17, 2010