My Parents Are My Worst Role Models

I hate my parents, more and more each day. My parents have fought from the day i was born literally, i grew up with things flying and breaking, threats to call the police, violence, cusses, drunkeness, lawsuits etc etc. No wonder i've grown up to a depressed kid. and my dad wont even pay for my antidepressants or counseling, he says i am weak and its my fault. My dad left to the US to find his "american dream" without telling me while i was away in boarding school, I found out when i came back to korea and my mom told me he sold our house to someone else and now every break i come back to korea t live in a one room apartment with my mom and sister. NOT because we don't have the money to live in a proper apartment, but because my dad refuses to provide for us. My grandma provides for us, it makes me feel pathetic and ashamed for my father. He never calls me, never emails me, for all I know he could be remarried and have never told me. As for my mom I think she is mentally damaged like seriously. She needs counseling. She has anger management issues, she is constantly swearing and telling me not to call her my mom, that she wants to have nothing to do with me.

If only i had a place to go, and money to use I woul move out of this tiny rat hole of a place that i have to share with her but nope, my sister is in the other side of the world, so is my dad. family to me is just a lose label, a word to describe a group of people related by blood, nothing else to it. Its sad but i dont think i have a single person in my life that i could truly say that i love. How am i supposed to know how to love when my family's fallen apart and treat me like a failure they want nothing to do with...
xxhanarooxx xxhanarooxx
Jul 24, 2010