My Parents Don't Care About Me

I honestly believe, after 18 years of experiencing pure hell, that my parents just simply do not care about me. I've always tried so hard to please them, but nothing works. Anything I do or say is turned around onto me. If my mother and I have a disagreement and I try to talk about it with her, she tells me to get out of her face. Or she'll tell me she doesn't want to deal with me or she doesn't care. It hurts a lot. I tell her this, and she acts as if she never heard me and continues to repeat the same phrase over and over like I am a dog. Just a while ago this happened, and she got up and left the house as if I am a diseased animal that she needs to run away from. She hates me. She has a bipolar attitude and will say things that make no sense and are extremely hurtful just to hear herself talk. She doesn't care about making things easier for me and she never tries to help me with anything. My dad does the same thing. He is rude, manipulative and hurtful and my younger brother is beginning to follow in his footsteps and treat me with the same disrespect as my dad does. I hate being here. I plan to move out this summer, but the thought that my family really doesn't care about me makes me depressed and lonely. I don't know what to do.
ari190 ari190
32 Responses May 28, 2011

Dude maybe you got more hell then the rest of us but you need to keep trying I have no patience or respect for my parents anymore because they cant leave me alone but you need help go to a therapist and try time away and your moving possibly and if you get depressed from people who are bullies too you thats sad and that a huge problem

same pinch..............

i know the feeling my mother treats me the same way and still does after 22 years , i have a son now she never met and she brakes all the promises she makes and im having another baby and she still acts the same she dont care and it hurts he " best friend " is more of a mother figure to me then her. i never gotten over the feeling nor do i know how but to cry when im alone. she cares more about other people not even her family random people more then she will ever about her own daughter only daughter that is . im sorry u have to go through this , i wish the best for us both.
The only thing that does help is talking to other people like family about it and keep her our of my life and let her know what she is missing and let her feel how we felt through all the years . my mother does all that and lies and steals stole 15,000 from me when i was 18 instead of her giving it to me to get a car and a DL. SO i could drive she spent it and because she did that i got in to a bad car crash going 130 mph flipped front to back 8 times in a coma for a month and had a tube in my neck called a trac to help me breath for a year in a half she had no guilt nor did she care. it hurts everyday not being able to feel that motherly love when u hug that one person or have someone to call ur sons grandmother. my mother lies steals puts things in anyones name and doesnt even pay the bill she says " you owe me your life kid" " i dont owe you ****" she would do more worse things put her only daughter in and out of the hospital saying she is hurting her self when thats not nearly as true she would lie to the state to get more money have my father get arrested even though she knew it hurt me seeing my dad like that just because she didnt get her child support that didnt even support me.

So now i no longer talk to my mother til she feels my pain ive felt for years , & the pain she is putting my son through.
i wont allow her to do that to my son nor me any more.

Sorry for seeing this so late. I hope you are well now. Nevertheless, ill say my advice. It is difficult not to hate, but hate is a double edged sword. It is a cage that only gets smalller. And it is a choice, because no one is born to hate. Free yourself, and love, find other people out there that will do the same to you. Because there are a world out there you have not touched, and if you open your heart, you'll will find someone. This may hurt, but family, sometimes, arent defined by bloodties. Because we are all humans, we feel. No one deserve to feel like how you do. Get away, start anew, and love. Because there is only one thing that has power completely- that is love. When one love, one does not desire power, and therefore has power. You are the builder of your life. Bless you!

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I feel you my parents dont care if I cry their just like stfu always telling me I have the fault and im only 12

I know how you feel. If I want anything or try to do what I love and makes me happy my parents throw a fit and say we don't have any money. But

I know exactly how all of you feel my parents want me to be their perfect little angel little do they care what I want in life they push me around and do the same thing to my brother they treat me like I'm their puppet and completely disregard my feelings I don't really have any friends either so any time spent away from my parents I feel like I'm the only person in the world I hate my life!

Yep. I hate my parents too. Everything I say my mother just yells at me. She keeps saying she loves me and a bunch of times she says I make everyone's life miserable.

And I'm 11 😞 and my friends all act the same way and she's always nice and kind to them

I feel ya man my parents do simmaler things

My family/life is the SAME EXACT WAY! I'm 17 though nd idk what to do

I dont know what to do with my life.I have a baby brother and a younger sister which ARE both spoilt.My sister takes advantage of me and when I respond I get beaten up.Today my sister threw my stuff in the garbage so I went to get it. It just happened that my mother was passing by.My sister saw her passing by and placed my hand on her stomach and started to cry. She said that I punched her.So my mother yelled at me so I went on my bed,Later on she came back and told me to get off my bed.So I stood up for myself and said no she then pulled me off and almost broke my feet! I was so scared I went in my closet and hid myself and she followed me and punched my door open and shouted at me in my face she then went back to her room and gossiped about me with my grandma (which was here mother).Im thinking of secretly putting my self up for adoption but I live on a small island in the Caribbean called The Commonwealth of Dominica and im only 10.I dont want to keep living this way!I should report them to the police but im scared

You are not alone. This is almost exactly how my family is.

I hate my life. My Mum and my Dad & my siblings hate me. They Favour my older sister and my younger brother. Today i asked if i could go with a friend they didnt know. They said to get out of there face and do something usful. Yesterday my young brother asked if he could go with a friend my mum and dad didnt know. They said yes. The same thing happend to my older sister. I dont know what to do. I cant ber it anymore . They think i am there slave. im the middle child so they give everything to the Older sister and they care more about my younger brother. They hardly let me go out of the house (Because im always mowing the lawn or washing the dishes or cleaning the house up).
My girlfriend cheated on me so that didnt help me feel any better but now. Im thinking about running away. My friend are starting to hate me now for an unknown reason. Im thinking about running far away. THey wont care, they dont love me.

Ditto other than the girlfriend I don't have one

I feel ya buddy.

With the human being, unfortunately, it takes a couple of essential ingredients especially during childhood, to grew properly as a balanced and respectful person. If those ingredients are not properly received, and individual will mostly stop his character development at a childhood level. Some parents are just kids that never grew. Most of the time, they had themselves bad parenting. Those persons usually show lack of respect for the people close to them (family such as wife, kids), quite a love for money or high esteem for very successful people, controlling behavior, possessiveness and in every single case, aggressiveness (which is a manifestation of an intense insecurity feeling). All those manifestations are very hard, if not impossible to correct, since those are self-defense mechanisms that the person developed as a child mostly from lack of affection and respect. If the person also experienced aggressive behavior from his parents, chances are he will develop permanent brain changes (as his brain in growing at that age) that will make him perceive the reality differently for the rest of his life, such as being an insecure or threatening place. This has been shown in clinical studies. There is one single thing that can be done with such persons. Stay away and watch yourself to not develop similar behavior. Kids get the character genes from either one of the parents. It's not a surprise for your brother to act the same way as his dad. Also, this behavior is because they lack self respect. Nothing is more scaring for them than someone that has self respect and who is not afraid of them. If you have the power to do so, stand you ground, ask them at every single time why they are talking this way to you, and do your best not to fear them. Defend your own respect, no matter how hard it is, don't let them disrespect you even for a single second.

Consider yourself an orphan and believe you were once loved by people who truly loved and believed in you. Let go move on. Start to think of the people in your life now as distant relative that took you in as an obligation. Their and your obligation to one another, now that you are grown is complete. Just cut these people off emotionally. You do not owe them anything. They broke their contract with their callousness. Never look back nor turn back. Make them learn how to make it up to you if they want a relationship. Other then that start to learn how to enjoy your freedom and learn to love and take care of yourself apart from them. God bless you and may his spirit be with you always.

You used the word orphan and that is exactly how it is. Though a person may have a biological father and mother, without love backing up those positions they are just strangers and the child is truly an orphan.

my dad don't like me from at the age of L.k.g or below, i don't know what happened and it continues till the present day,now i am 26 years old,but he thinks he did well and i think its funny.i did mistake at the age of 19(not f word) and hate gone worse(he changed to devil(haha)) and after 8 years of hell and abyss with full force upon me(i started seeing wall clock every 2 minutes for time to pass so that i can sleep to skip the torture and its gone 3 years like that between the period of 8),now i am recovering and i think god has answered me and its not because of i am recovered...and i think its not the right way for him to do that.and the mistake i done its because of my close friend(he cheated me) and so i did the mistake and so something happened and i got "acute anxiety" i am fine"ADVICE FOR YOU--------CRY A LOT SO THAT PAIN GETS OUTSIDE AND YOU FEEL GOOD FOR THE ROUND 2 "if your parents really dont like you at all give them second chance(if it happens act like you are hurting "only outside" and dont feel the pain inside so that things doesnt get worse),and if you parents really dont like you and never gonna like you(know for sure in some cases its only you feel like it) THEN stop liking them too and stay in the same house untill you get job(of some fair amount) and move on with your life of heaven,remember that there are lot loke you out there and if you have some issues of mind after the the hell being human is enough in this world to get accecpted in to the wrld.hope your parents really dont like you and never like you,bye my name is "LEO"(not original)

oh god i am so sorry i am sure this feels so bad

Exactly how I feel my mom can give a crap about my education
And she treats me like a good for nothing bum, sometimes she refuses to allow me to go to school some days because she wants an extra hour or two of sleep. If it was not for me I would
Have failed by now. It is also affecting my grade. My mom always talk about how things are me and my sister's fault. Whenever something happens we are blamed and penalized for it. I have no privacy because a attempt to make my life mom has a pure hatred for black men even though she is married to one and proves her point the way she treats me. I could go on and on about this but I have to stop here because its getting stressful.

i think i still prefer ur life

my life is more like school, study, no going to anywhere, stay at home and study my entire life!!!!!!!!!!! i never get grounded cuz im grounded for life during school days.

-no tv
-no ipod
no phone
-no computer
-no ipad

yea, this is totaly my life:(. it totally sucks!!! n btw, i must get 90+ or else i get lectured fr like the entire night!!!!! to those of u who wish u r a model student, i wish im an average. cuz i can't slack rite now.... my parents never care bout anything but my grades. i get scolded if i fall sick ! like, WTH!!!

Family cares and loves you. Some parents/family members are plain ********. My mother would shout hateful stuff at me. My dad, at the time would take her side. Now he know that she's crazy and we're cool, now. But the point is, family DOESN'T have to be blood related. Family can be soul-related. Like a friend. Wherever you are now; I hope you accomplished (or going to) your dreams. :)

Im in the exact situation its scary. Mom doesnt want to admit shes wrong, everything is my fault (divorce, unclean house, whatevers wrong its my fault) dad is messed up about divorce so he backs my mom up on everything and yells at me for anything i say that would "hurt" my mom. And both parents are starting to become alcoholic. And now my little brother hates me. He thinks im trying to destroy this family because of what my parents have told them. They havent always been like this, it seems ever since the divorce they turned from parents to roomates who couldnt care about what happens to us. I want to leave because i cant handle fighting with them so much...

When parent's don't love one another they have a hard time loving their own children. That is why it is important to find your soul mate and never ever settle for who is available or for what you think the income value of what that person is worth. I struggle with this as an unhappy parent. I know I would be a much better if only I love the person who I am married to more. Don't get me wrong...I love my kids. I just feel exhausted emotionally and trapped, like I don't have the autonomy, love, and respect I desire. So you see it's not you. It is the whole situation that occurs as a result of not being true to yourself in the first place before the kids. My advice to you is to shrug it off, cut them off and know you will be ok with out them. Then do me and yourself a favor. Do not settle for or bed down with anyone who is not your soul mate. Do not have children with the wrong person! I know someday you may want to have kids. The best way to be the best parent you can be is to be in love with your partner first.

My parents never supported me. I have a brother and sister and their the pride and joy of the family. I'm the black sheep of the family. They never supported me in anything, never trusted me with anything. Don't know why they even kept me around. I never got to finish my studies since they dumped me in the worst high school our town has to offer, filled with hooligans, thieves, and people that didn't know how to read or write. I won't say I was a saint but compared to those people I was a lamb. I wasn't stupid or anything, all my teachers asked me why I wasn't attending another school. I never answered them since I was to ashamed but I can finally say it since most of you people experienced similar things. I was never offered a proper education since the school I was attending was around 20 min walk and my parents didn't want to waste money on bus fairs. I'm not joking, every thing I got was limited, one pair or jeans would last me for 2 or 3 years, same thing with my shoes or any other piece of clothing I had. Turning back to the subject, my brother was in a good school, he was considered to be the smart one even tho he payed his way into finishing it. He used to get money for his projects and I used to walk 7 miles to the library and borrow books.
I remember him asking for obscene amounts of money to buy his projects. Sometimes he would come with his face all sad, a tear or two to make it more real, saying he lost the money (money he used to go and have fun). As I said he used to get everything while I got nothing.
I kind of regret being weak, I couldn't take it anymore so in the 12 grade I got expelled. I used to skip school daily, used to go to my best friends house and hang around with him, it felt normal, felt good, he was the family I never had.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful they raised me and put a roof over my head but looking back on my life I didn't really achieve anything since I was offered so little.

I wonder what would of happen if I was born in another family. Theres not a day that passes and I don't think about that.

Sorry if this post offended you guys. Just wanted to say a little about my parents. Would of gone on for hours but I think no one wants to read that much.

I understand, I had the same thing going on in my family. Sometimes I feel it would have been better if my parent's would have died when I was young. At least then I would have known that I was once truly loved and cherished.

My parents constantly ignore me and they are unreasonable at certain times. All I want to do is please them but it never works. I know my mom has done many things for me but I have 6 siblings and she expects me to do everything for her. She asks me to do 16 things at one time and she'll start complaining if I forget something. My parents always say the skies are the limit but when I do good and ask them for something there is always some kind of excuse. I feel hurt but I don't know what to do and I cant talk to anyone about. Feeling forgotten is the worst when your parents are the ones forgetting about you. It seems like they talk to me for their own benefit. Basketball is the only way I can get rid of my feelings. I dream of making it to the Nba but sometimes it seems like my parents are trying to crush my dreams.

While my situation is not as bad as yours, my parents don't love me or if they do they have a rly ****** way of showing it. I can come home with all a's and not hear a word of it but god forbid I drop down to a c and I get a lecture about how I should be a better student and all that. Never do they attempt to start a conversation or tell me how proud of me they are or how they love me, with my mom its the worse. She cant say I love you unless I get into an argument with her saying how she never says that, those are the only times she ever says it, my dad never does. Sometimes i start an argument just to hear those words. iv tried talking with her about my college situation and all she ever says is how just because I didn't get pregnant in high school im better than her, sarcastically. After her sarcasm she says I'm not better than her and to figure it out on my own. when I was younger she never paid any attention to me or my school or at all, the only time she acts like a mom is of were in front of family other than our own. Every time things go wrong im the one to blame, the other day i slipped and fell into an uncloaed door and a hole was busted into the wall, I was cut up some but all my parents could say were great there's no wya to fix this and how could I kick the door like that. It's really depressing and I wish i were out of it all. Parents suck and the day I move out of this house will be the day i cut them out of my life.

I understand. I feel like I'm going around in circles. One day it's fine then the next it's like torture.

Yeah sometimes my parents do that too , but not as worse as your parents.. if you parents dont care about you anymore try talking to someone else in your family.. Like a nan or grandad they should probily beale to sort it out because there son/daughter is your mom and dad which means they should care for their children unlike your parents i hope your problems sort out :)

Sometimes my parents do the same thing, too. So dont think nobody loves you or that ur lonely and that no one gives a **** about you. Remember, you're never alone GOD is with you !!! <3

i recommend u yur comment is very uplifting thank u

J know exactly to the T how you feel. You basicly just described my living situation but what sucks is I'm only 15. I feel depressed all the time but the only thing that keeps me going through this family is God. I'm sorry if your not christian or if you were but lost the faith or if your another religion. I'm just sayin, even a quick little prayer to him gives me the strength to make it through every single bull**** day. Im so depressed and my dad makes fun of me for it. My step mom is a complete b**** and my little brother calls me fat every minute of everyday. My childhood was so traumatizeing from the abuse and neglect that i dont even remember anything. I thankfully get to graduate early from highschool and i'm going to move in with my big sister and niece in florida. Just set a goal for yourself and do whatever you can to get there. It makes me feel just a bit better about myself because i'm going to live a happy life that i created myself and they are all going to be stuck with eachother and their little pitty party. DON'T GIVE UP! It will all be worth it in the end. I can feel it. :)

Unfair treatment toward one child in particular is common, but the kind emotional neglect and abuse we have endured is not. Your story is so similar to mine it's scary. I am moving out this summer, and even if I have to pay off student loans for the rest of my life, I will get the hell out of here. Outsiders will always deny such assertions because they are only looking at the surface. Lack of moral and emotional support, encouragement, and love can be more hurtful than physical beatings. In this atmosphere, you can work your *** off, but because there is no positivity, no support, you will be working very hard to gain what others can achieve easily. Your intelligence and effort can be put to better use if you change your environment. Move out, and don't look back. Doesn't mean you have to forget everything, but always keep looking forwards. <br />
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There are parents who don't love their children in this world, and there will always be those unlucky ones like us who have this unfortunate experience.

I know exactly how you feel, and I'm tired of trying now. They've decided I'm the cause of their marriage problems and are throwing me out. I've never been a bad kid and they always throw my mistakes in my face all the time, and my mum never listens when I want to talk about something, she just has an attitude, no-one can say the wrong thing to her like she's perfect and too good for me. Hate them both. I've given up trying to make them happy with me. I always hear what's wrong with me, never a compliment or what's right. It's like they ******* hate me.

Without more detail, it's hard to know what's going on here. But I'm curious -- has your relationship with your mom ALWAYS been that difficult? Here's why I ask. I have a 17yr old and 21 yr old. I love them both with all my heart. But I cannot STAND my 17yr old right now, and when my 21yr old was 16 - 19, I couldn't stand her either. The little snots went through an AWFUL phase where they assumed I was an over-the-hill, ancient, idiot who could NEVER understand that they lived in a TOTALLY different world from the one I inhabited back in the STONE age.<br />
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This pissed me off. Because, frankly, I'm a pretty damned cool parent (don't confuse that with "permissive" 'cause I ain't! I WILL lay down the law!). I'm fairly sure I'm right about this, as over 100 or so of their respective friends facebooked ME while still in high school. But ANYWAY, at the same time my girls wanted to be "independent", give me attitude, and lay their sorry, lazy, butts around the house doing absoultely NOTHING -- they were also eating the food *I* bought, playing with the iphones *I* got them, and expecting me to be "mom" when it suited THEM! We fought/fight ALL THE TIME.<br />
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I'm sure you know that there are two sides to every story. It's just that when one of those sides is ours, it's often really tough to see the other one. I'm not gonna lie. I've said and done stuff that probably hurt my kids feelings. I'm human. When you guys get to be "grown-up sized" and start yelling stuff at US like you're our equal, it's a teensy bit hard to maintain that mother/daughter line. You're not really fair to us. Your expectation is that you can hurl any hateful words you want OUR way, and we're supposed to understand that you're just a volatile teen and "act like adults" about it. (LOLOLOL!!) <br />
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ADULTS ARE JUST OLDER KIDS THAN YOU ARE!! Cut your mom such slack. She loves you. You're just as hard to deal with right now as she is. Things WILL change when you get a bit older. I promise. :-)

Wow, did you just not read this story?! Her mom doesn't love her at all and you don't know what that poor girl has gone through! You need a reality check! There are parents out there who actually hate their kids and we are one of those hapless kids. I'm sure that you would change your mind if you were in our shoes!

time to leave the house and become you! everyone has issues with their parents (including me). but there is a time to break away and this sounds like that time.- <br />
stop worrying about what they think of you and start finding out who you are. you sound like a great, caring individual that needs time and space to figure that out. <br />
the space you are in sounds like a barrier you need to break through. <br />
i wish you all the best.