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Parents and Stupid Justifications!

I cant stand my parents. I have spent years pushed in the shadows of the anger trying my best to compare to my siblings that got it all, including the ones of no blood relation. I never did anything wrong but be born with a mouth of honesty, to much for my parents to handle. I want what most people want love and respect. To be drawn into the family circle and noticed. Instead I got to be the ever hated black sheep. years have gone by and my hatred for them has gone from self blame to intense frustration. Recently my grandparents faked there death. I believed they were dead, I had no reason to not believe. My children believed they were dead. When I couldn't the facts I wanted I took the imitative to investigate. I called ever coroner, sheriff, police station and requested a home visit by the local police. My grandparents were home the whole time laughing. There justification in this was they were doing there will and need to know if we cared about them. Do I need to even say it! My mother was in on this and found this excuse justifiable. My father who hates her agrees that some how I and my children deserve this.
I never had my parents to be there for me why would I have thought so now!
I wish far to much and expect way to little!
strz79 strz79 26-30, F 7 Responses Mar 24, 2007

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I am the product of parental stupidity. My mother says she wanted children. want want want! I hate that word! Want should be based on common sense and the responsibility to HAVE! Did she see to my basic physical needs to survive, yes, she barely squeeked by there. Did she properly see to my emotional needs, education and preparation for the future, how about my SAFETY? Absolutely NOT! Her own selfish ambitions and complete lack of patience for the kids she WANTED was soooo obvious, and still present today when I see her with her grandkids. Then theres dear old dad! The ******** who as I speak is currently serving a 28 year prison sentence for aggravated sexual assault of a minor, and to hear my mom tell it, he had been doing that sort of thing years before I was even born. She not only tried to cover up his dirty little secret, but for many many years she subjected the children she WANTED to this monster. She claims she told him he better not ever hurt her children, yeah well, Im living proof, he did! I was physically abused and other. But nothing stopped mom from achieving her own silly little selfish ambition of owning more clothing than JC Penney. Cause she was sooo poor when she was growin up D: what did that do after she had 4 children whos lives are all hell on earth now. I have been in the psyc ward twice, and I am totally dysfunctional in life. A failure at the age of 43, whos tired, very tired. One daughter who has been married 5 times, done drugs, has very obvious violent mental problems that has abused her own children, another daughter that has embraced a very hazardous sexual and self centered lifestyle, that even had an abortion once because she behaved irresponsibly. Who is also a pathological liar, and a thief. And another son who has a felony on his record for getting drunk and violently assaulting his girl friend, does all kinds of drugs and abuses the his children physically. Oh yeah, we siblings are all doin just fine aint we !!!
She wanted children. WHY?!? She worked diligently to ruin my early education and I was sent to a special school for children with learning disabilities. the other kids on our street made fun of me and called me retarded. ridiculed me, and oh yeah, I didn't get the education I NEEDED just to make it in life. Doin real well now aint I?? all because of my moms inability to get along with my teachers and her self fulfilling need to pick a fight with them. I have known her for 43 years I think I know what kind of a witch she really is. Do I have a reason to hate my parents? I still have nightmares about my father. Yet for many years my mother, knowing what he was continued to subject us to that monster. She did leave with us once, but went back after a few months, because he promised to buy HER a house, HER! College was NEVER encouraged, neither was any other real ambition I had. She claims, she couldn't make it as a single parent. Poooor excuse. When you bring a child into this world, I don't care how good you THINK your partner is. You had better be prepared to see to everyone one of YOUR childrens needs, by yourself one hundred percent! God forbid that something should happen to your significant other, something tragic. It does happen. Or that they turn out to be the snake my father did. Is it worth it to subject a child to that? An innocent child?

If that's how they want to play it, don't involve them in your life. It's ok to visit(especially for your kids), but they don't even deserve small talk from you. Even if (let's just say, I'm not accusing) you were at fault, that prank they pulled was too much, death is a serious thing, and families should have close and positive bonds. Don't fret about them. Enjoy your life, hang with friends, love your children, and feel better.

I was born unto two parents who didn't have the skills or knowledge how to raise a child. They didn't know how to nurture or love. <br />
They never learned that as a parent you are the teacher, the mentor, the guidance to help your child grow into a healthy person.<br />
They themselves were abused and learned how to abuse. And so they did.<br />
They used guilt and fear to teach "lessons". And so I too grew up with a hatred for them and my two younger siblings who grew up untouched, unlike me who suffered their wrath.<br />
But as a young adult, I learned the hatred I carried was only hurting me. So I let it go and used the knowledge I learned from the abuse I suffered. I don't regret being born unto my parents. I'm grateful to understand what love is and what love is not.<br />
Because of my experiences I am able to extend compassion and understanding towards others. I can provide support to those who suffer so they can work passed the suffering and be able to be at peace with themselves.<br />
I am sensitive to the way children learn and what they understand so I am able to provide them with understanding for their feelings, I can give them a better understanding of why adults do what they do, and guide them in a way that is positive and empowering.<br />
I learned hatred for anyone is only harmful to yourself. <br />
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A very wise person once said to me "Your parents are biologically your parents. But we must all remember that our parents, are not born as parents. They are born as people. And just because a parent is biologically yours, that doesn't necessarily mean they are good for you. People are people, and not all people will be your friend, mentor or even someone you will care to know. And it is up to you, to decide if someone is good for you, or if they aren't. Make your decision according to they are as people, and not as biology"<br />
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I wish you all to find peace with your anger. Nurture yourself, be good to yourself, and surround yourself with people who are good to you regardless of biology.

hi im one of u.. i hate them because they hate me.from my childhood they always illtreat me. my mom is beautiful woman and im not like her so she illtreat her own child. my dad is one mess, he always adore my mom and scold and beat me if she complains. they dont love their kids. i wonder why. i love my kid more then anything but how could they hate me. they are a stupid parent i hate them more then anything

I had to stop contact with my parents as well because of their crazy drama that is never ending and serves to trash my mental and emotional states. With my parents it was always, I need more money, or I cannot eat tonight [they squandered all their money on xbox, kitchen re-modeling, etc], my dad would rather play xbox then go out and get a job, mom always manipulates family for money, etc. I just got tired after having given them more than $15,000 over the past 8 years for "assistance" and finding out that they blew all their money, life savings, money I gave for "assistance" etc just to tell me that they now go to bed hungry many nights? How crazy is that!? Now I cannot even believe my parents anymore as it always seems to be another clever manipulation designed by the both of them; wasn't until me and other family members compared notes and talked about all this drama that we all found out that my dad chose not to work despite claiming that they have no food to eat. I have given up now as after 8 years and so many dollars later it must be obvious they've made this a way of life for themselves? For me it has caused tremendous emotional trauma as I actually thought I was helping them when in reality I found out I was only enabling them. I even have given them books over the years hoping they would change and get their lives together, which never happened.<br />
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Thanks for sharing, it helps me so much knowing that I am not the only one with crazy manipulative parents.

i agree.. parents can really be manipulative... for their selfish reasons.

My mother had the nerve to tell me about her selfish ambition when I was talking about college, further education in spite of the fact that my primary education got so messed up. She showed me all the boxes and boxes of clothing in her closet. "see this, this is my dream! I made a promise to myself one day that I would have more clothing then I could ever wear, cause we were soooo poor when I was growing up" Touching story, and I certainly don't fault anyone for following their dreams, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. But when you bring 4 children into the equasion, knowingly, it aint about you no more. We, children that she wanted, had needs. She and my father did a terrible job at fulfilling those needs. They each had their own selfish agenda, what did my moms clothing do for the welfare of her children ? The clothing she had for years and years? Or my fathers favorite immoral and illegal hobby that landed him in prison where he has been the past 17 years? Their childrens lives are ruined, but nothing stopped them from persueing their own ambitions. Their dreams came true.

Two thumbs up, diggersstory!<br />
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I have often said that I learned 'what not to do' from my family. I knew from the time I was a small child that things were totally messed up! It took me until the age of 26 to finally cut those strings and just live my life on my own terms. I have never been happier than these last 13 years!<br />
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I raised my children in a completely different manner and atmosphere. Take what you have learned and apply it well. You are the one to break the cycle.<br />
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I used to be angry, and I used to hate my parents. Now, I just feel sorry for them. They will never understand, and I will never again try to explain it to them. No more drama, abuse, manipulations, lies or heartbreak. <br />
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There are many of us out here that live life on much more gentle and straight forward terms. See us out as we seek each other. :)

Yours and mine are just two crazy making families! Sadly there are 100s of thousands maybe millions around the world as bad and some even worse!! It's hard to make it out in the world sane after living under these conditions! Hard to have dreams, vision and fortitude to break their cycle on us.<br />
There's so much to say about this that it overwhelms me!<br />
The lessons I was left with from dealing with my abusers are many. As a child I studied their self centered and ignorant behavior, their lack of respect for anyone even themselves!<br />
Jimmmmminey No one starts out wanting to behave this insane making their families crazy. No one starts out wanting to be this abusive! <br />
So all I will say is THANK GOODNESS we got out alive and can seek out people who are encouraging, uplifting, wise. Experience Project is just one good place for starters! <br />
We have the heart and vision they never had. We are the lucky ones to take charge of our lives, and refuse to let people ruin our lives or influence our daily lives. We are the ones that make our loved ones safe from abusive crazymakers!<br />
We are the brave souls, the pioneers that make a difference in our family, community and our world. I refuse to interact with crazy makers at all cost. They have one agenda and it has nothing to do with my world. I seek peacemakers and keepers. Those that make a positive difference in our world. Those that are not perfect but work on themselves! If they want to join forces with me GREAT if they don't that's AuOK with me, just I won't be around for the drama. BE A JERK....Waaahooo thanks for the warning...I'm outta here! Booooya we are AmAzInG!