I Can Finally Say That I Hate My Parents

At this point, I can honestly say I don't love them anymore. I used to. I used to love them and wonder why they didn't love me like other parents loved their children. I used to think they were just so horrible because of me, that my very presence caused them to behave like that. They told me they hated me and then they told me they loved me. They told me it was my fault they were unhappy. I used to want to die just so everyone would be happy again.

My mother abused me verbally, emotionally and physically from when I was 7 until I left home for good at 19. She would slap me, hit me, kick me, pull my hair, grab my ears and pull, throw things at me, hit me with things, and once she threatened to kill me with a kitchen knife. She told me she wanted to kill me, and that if I was gone everything would be better. She always called me names. Even when I was too young too really understand what they meant. She told me I was a selfish *****, that I was stupid, ugly, fat, smug, evil, a sl*t, that I would be hated by everyone who met me because I was so awful and stupid. She told me I did things jsut to ruin her life or hurt her... like saying ouch when she rushed me hair or when I asked her to play with me. She told me when I was little that if I didn't stop being horrible she wouldn't like me anymore, but she might still love me. She would get explosively and violently mad over small things I did wrong, like spelling mistakes or breaking a glass. If my dad caught me crying about my mum, he'd bring it up with her, and then she'd hit me or scream or whatever because I'd made her look bad. She hurt me in so many ways. I am still never going to be good enough or thin enough or smart enough or successful enough for her. She pretends all the things she did never happened. If I bring it up, she says that I'm lying or I imagined it or it was just discipline and I am blowing it out of proportion and am ungrateful because I don't appreciate all the 'discipline' that made me the good person I am. Bulls**t. She didn't deal with her own issues, she didn't stand up to my dad, she didn't stand up to his daughters, she wasn't happy and didn't do anything to change it. So she took it all out on me. And I know she will never acknowledge it or apologise. The last time she hit me I was 19. She hit me because I burnt the caramel sauce. She can't hit me anymore because I have my fiance, and she knows I'm gone now, out of her control. She tries still to have me under her control again though. She says the cruelest things, manipulates and guilts, tries to make me insecure. But she never says it in front of my fiance. I hate her for the spinlessness which made it ok to her to take all her problems out on a small child. And I hate her because she doesn't have the respect for me or the courage to be honest and apologise to me for ruining my childhood. I hate her because she's pathetic, because she tries to hurt me and control me still. I hate her because she is my mother and she should have loved me properly, and now all that we have is just a thin film of lies and fake smiles and this awful fake close relationship that hides all the scars and the pain.

Dad was verbally abusive and neglectful mostly. I mean, he hit me sometimes, but not as often as my mum. Usually for small silly reasons like my mum did, like I walked in fornt of the TV when his football team was losing. His words were the most hurtful thing about him, just like with mum. I'd rather a bruise or a welt any time, rather than the words. He told me I was useless, that I made him sick, that I wasn't as good as his other daughters, that I was fat and ugly and untalented, that I had to validate my existance to his daughters. He never says he loves me when his daughters are around. Back then he knew that his side of the family treated me like dirt (still do). He knew his grandchildren bullied me and called me names and hurt me and called me their 'slave'. He knew his daughters were nasty to me, that they either ignored me or made fun of me in front of other people. He knew they called me fat and stupid to my face. It's been that way since I was born. They didn't like the fact that my dad married someone else, other than their own mother, they hate my mother and so they hate me too. He knew and he saw and he still called my mother and me ungrateful liars when we brought it up with him. He let them do whatever they liked. The sun shone out of his grandchildren, and I was just there to be respsonsible for them, even though they are mostly all older than me. He blamed me for things they did, and punished me for them. He took my toys, my bedroom, my things, and my few cherished sweets and gave them away to his grandchildren. I wasn't important enough. He never had any time for me, he thought I was pointless. He talked for hours with people about his other daughters, but when asked about me he'd say "oh, she never does anything'. I was always a straight A student, all my teachers loved me, I was talented and nice, but he only ever told people made up or exaggerated stories about me doing embarrassing or stupid things. All the while telling them wonderful stories about his other daughters. My fiance said something that really clicked with me about my dad... that he acts like a distant step-father rather than a real dad. And he does. These days, he tells people that he's the reason I turned out so well. He tells them I'm a talented painter and writer, but he hasn't seen anything I've done since high school... and even then he told me it was 'cr*p'. He touches me now, when for my whole life previous I can't remember him hugging me more than once a year for show. I can't help but flinch when he hugs me or pets me or palys with my hair. He sees my reaction, but he never stops. I hate him for being spineless and not standing up for me against my mum or his daughters or his grandchildren. They were more important, they had to like him, so him couldn't rock the boat. I hate him because he never showed me any love or kindness. I hate that he pretends he made me who I am, because I made me who I am, in spite of him and mum. I hate him because he saw his own brother being inappropriot with me and did nothing. He said 'Oh, I probably should have said something, but anyway' in this voice like he'd seen my uncle not flush the loo. 'But anyway'? Your own brother is rubbing his groin on your child and you go 'but anyway'? 

I hate them both. And I can't love them anymore. Love is earned. Respect is earned. Even parents have to earn the right to be in your life and your heart. They have done nothing but betray their position as parents. And I have a new family now, my fiance. I have finally found someone who treats me like a human being, not a whipping post. I have found someone who doesn't ransom out their love, or hurt me and then use love as an excuse. I've found someone who takes care of me and loves me and respects me. My mother is trying to take him away from me, but she can't. I have a new family now that is strong and secure. Its only two people, but its safe and wonderful. And no-one can hurt me anymore, least of all my parents   

sugarburn sugarburn
22-25, F
68 Responses Jun 26, 2008

Don't worry it's not your fault. I still live with my parents because I'm only 17 but I'm going to college in 5 months and I can't wait to get away from them. Some parents think they can do whatever they want to their child because we're their property (literally what my parents always tell me). They expect me to not fight back when they hit me or curse at me as if I'm a robot. I also wasn't a planned child and was supposed to be aborted, but some Jewish doctor said that he can't do abortions because it's against his religion. My parents often talk about how much better their lives would be if I was aborted. It doesn't really effect me anymore because I've grown relatively callous to their abuse. My dad constantly finds something to complain about. Like if I don't fold his uniforms right, or get his socks ready then he calls me "worthless" and says that I don't have a brain and I'm dumb. etc. They also tell me that their lives would be much better if I wasn't in it. My mom recently told me that her and my dad were talking about how much better their lives would have been if I was aborted, and that they only wanted a boy and a girl.(I have a 19 year old brother and a 15 year old sister). I don't hate my parents, but I'm not very comfortable around them. I don't trust them with anything.

Not your fault. I had the same thing happen to me.

Don't worry dude, I feel for you. Im kind of at the stage you were in. My mum likes to hit me; sometimes with the wooden spoon or if I'm extremely lucky, she just slaps me, pinches me or punches me (i used to have heaps of bruises but now when she hits me it doesn't appear...), but mostly she goes outside and grabs a branch of the tree (their like thin branches. Don't confuse them with sticks or stems because their not like that - its similar to a small leather while) and whips me with it, so i get ugly inflammations in the shape of a slim rectangle, and which after leaves a cut that doesn't go away until two years ( i know this cuz the hitting started this 'major' when I was around 7. My mum always used to hit me but she usually used her hands (lol i remember one time she punched me in the mouth and it started bleeding). Usually she hits me for no reason (she doesn't like it when Im near), but usually it is just because I don't get or do the things she wants (get A in every subject, not get the school award). And my dad isn't much better. When he hits me, and though it is rare, he needs no sticks or stones to break my bones- one slap and a circular piece of my skin gets inflamed in a second- like my skin legit just puffs up. Usually though he just backs up my mother ' go up stairs, no one wants to see you,' and 'everyone only fights with you.' To be perfectly honest, I've completely lost the will to live.

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I'm so sorry to hear about your story i really do feel for you. I am happy to hear that you have found someone that treats you like a human. My situation was not as severe. It was mostly my step dad that was verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive. My mom treated me great though i had no life in my teen years (they took me in when i was 13, my mom is my cousin by blood). I would come home and have an insane chore list, homework, and then bed. If i was not in school then i had to work at their business. I went to the movies with friends twice throughout h.s. and had one sleep over when i was 18 with my best friend. I had a bad childhood to begin with, bio parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. I ended up excelling in school and went to a university where i graduated and now have a great job with the state. I was able to ignore most of the abuse and internalized it and always strived to make them proud. I am now 25 and this year has been very eventful. I met the love of my life that my parents have met twice even though they were supposed to meet him at least 6 times but always cancelled. They did not go to my engagement when they were invited months ahead of time (they remodeled their kitchen instead). We accidentally got pregnant after i was ill a lot and they were very upset. my step dad has ruined the moments when we found out what we were having, our wedding day (elopement), and buying a house. Then my mom ruined my birthday by getting in a fight with me. They live three hours away so everything has been over the phone. they have not been supportive and have stressed me out to the point that i feel like i cant be happy about this baby. My husband and i have great jobs and are in a good place so that is not a concern. It's just frustrating that they cannot be supportive. They are making it seem like i want them out of my life and after my dad was harassing me on the phone i told him i no longer wanted to speak to him because he was being mean and ended up blowing up on him about the stuff in the past. I feel bad but nothing i said was a lie and i was tired of ignoring it. I suppose I'm just ranting at this point but I am not sure what is going to happen from here.

I know how you feel. My parents both hit me until the school began taking notice of the bruises and called in the police. That was years ago back in year 6. Im in year 10 now, they don't hit me anymore but the verbal abuse began. It hurts a lot inside. I keep wanting to cut myself or hit my parents, anything that makes the pain go away. Recently they have been making the excise that they paid for the house so its theirs and anything under the roof is theirs... and it really doesn't help that i don't have any true friends at school which i actually can confide it. Anyway only 5 more years to go. The end is in sight. What can i say, just stay optimistic.

laugh at the last couple of seconds of there life :)

I love your story

Hopefully, in the final minutes before their last breaths, they'll get a replay of all the horrible things they did to you. From your point of view. And by the time they've realized what disgusting barrels of feces they are, it'll be too late to apologize or beg for forgiveness. Wouldn't that be nice.

that would be nice and hopefully they get tormented by it

I can relate to your experience with your mom almost exactly. My dad was not neglectful, he instead had control and anger issues. Hitting and spitting in the face, constant criticism, sent me out of the house one night in my pajamas with my dog in three feet of snow because i had a bag of goldfish before dinner.. Stuff like that. When ugly betty came out they used to joke that the show should be about me, because i looked like i was pregnant and i dressed ugly. I would wear solid colors only because they raised me to be ashamed of my body, and i didnt want to be noticed, i felt dirty. I was a straight a student too, and the adults in my life raved about me. Theytook credit for that. They take credit for everything good ive done for myself, losing weight and keeping it off after a late childhood of being force fed and binging When they weren't. home because i was afraid they would yell at me for eating if they saw me. But they project all their insecurities onto me and constantly a yell and criticize me. I recognize myself as being mildly ocd now, obsessive thoughts aboutbad things happening (paranoia) and compulsive behaviors (driving back home to make sure doors are locked when i know i did, thinking that the curling iton i never plugged in is burning down the house, constantly praying amd blessing myself while i drive--fear defys logic. Constantly using hand sanitizer not because i promote cleanliness but because my hands always feel dirty. I have never disobeyed them, yet my mom tells me to go to hell and that im a little ***** when i dont go along with her. But not in the joking manner, in the way someone says something with disgust. A couple months until i go to college,but theyll always be in a control that i cant escape. Thank you for listening and thank you for this site

You ought to have the courage to tell your parents they are a couple of **** and do not want to know anything more about them or their family ****, tell them you hate them, they mean nothing to you, that from now on you have a new life and they will be deleted forever, that will make you feel better.

I'm glad that the abuse has stopped. They dont deserev to be parents

Sometimes i wonder if some people should have the right to be parents

when I was a kid I read all kinds of stories about kids parents who flat out hate them, beat them, blame them for about everything that goes wrong in the world. I vowed that I would never be like that, because i bet your parents would stop if you switched sides with them.

The abuser became the abusee. Some kids parents actually beat their kids as part of their daily to do list. They just are sick people to me. If that's how they raise a child, then they don't deserve to be parents.

That sounds like what I am going through right now.

I'd rather be an orphan, with parents like that.

I'm so sorry to hear that you endured such a horrible childhood. There are far too many children who suffer at the hands of sick parents. Unfortunately I am one of them as well. I am unable to form friendships or meaningful relationships after a lifetime of abuse. My mother set me up to fail from the day I was born. She abused in every way possible. She allowed older siblings to abuse me in every way as well. My family is like a cult to this day. The suffering I endured has never been acknowledged and no one ever paid the price for what they did to me. My family is still full of pedophiles and abusers so it will continue on for a long time. My teachers let me down. The principal and vice principal of my elementary and junior high schools let me down. Every adult I knew let me down. No one stepped in to help even though I was clearly being abused. I went to school with black eyes and bruises; injuries that could not be explained by a simple fall or accident. One time my brother beat me so badly (he was 10 years older and sexually abused me as well since I was out of diapers) that I could not use my arm for at least a week. Instead of trying to find out what happened to me, my teacher yelled at me and told me that I had no business being in class if I couldn't write. I tried to learn to write with my left hand and attended school anyway. I was in severe pain but school was a haven from living a hellish existence in my own house. Educators, neighbors, social workers, older family members, etc. - laughed at me, joined the abuse, ignored the abuse, no one did anything to help me. My mother did not and does not love me. I have come to that horrible realization but it still hurts more than anything. I can't help but wonder what life would have been like had I had normal parents who cared for their children. My brothers and sisters were nothing but animals who tortured me every chance they got. Even in adulthood they were a detriment to my life and the lives of my children. I regret all the years I tried to make them love me. Now I just hate them all. Sadly, I am still unable to form strong bonds with people. I trust no one, especially those who are supposed to "love" me. I have severe depression and social anxieties that just won't stop, even with medications and counseling. I think the trauma was too deep and went on far too long. All I can say is that anyone who causes you deliberate pain does not love you. It took me 40 years to figure that out. Too long, too late for me. I hope you fair much better than I.

I grew up with really bad parents also, they blamed me for them having to get married. the only family member I was ever close to was my grandpa and he died at an early age, so I was alone alot. My dad was an athiest and my mother a jehovahs witness they hated each other, they lived their own lives the whole time I grew up. On summer vactions from school my mom would pack up my sister and go visit family in pittsburg and my dad would disappear for the summer and I would spend the summers alone. I had to ration my food because I never knew when someone would come home. Needless to say I got into drugs bad to cover up the emptiness I had inside me. I've never had close friends no matter how I treated people I was always invisable. I knew as early as 7th grade that when I graduated High School my parents would eventually divorce and remarry and have new familys and it would be like I was never born. I've only seen and spoken to my parents a couple times in over 30 years. I've quit drugs and drinking now over 25 years I have two sons and two grandsons that my parents only know about. I don't have the greatest life but I don't have the worst, all I can tell you is that hating your parents will eat you up inside you have to find a way to forgive them and move on with your life the best you can you will always feel that seperation from your family till the day you die. I knew by changing my life and surviving would always be on their mind to some degree, I'm always out there making it another day with my family and with Gods help he gave me a different life and gave me the spirit of adoption because he knew I had know where else to turn and no one else to help me, and he will do the same for you. I know that as soon as someone brings God into the equation your first thought is oh god one of those people. I know I used to be like that also things change as you get older. I don't want you to be 30 years old with all that hate inside you, it almost destroyed me and my family and they are all I have, and I don't want that for you seek God now so you can have a better life, like I said it won't be perfect but it will be better.

We have so much in common..I'm 12 now, and I live with my cruel foster parents, but it's still better than living with my dad. You're my inporation to suck up with the stuff they do to me. Thank you. <3

I envy and admire your own self confidence. You will have heard this a million times but your foolish parents don't know what they've missed out on, mistreating you so terribly. There comes a time when a person realises who they are when faced with adversity and although I have not passed my own, reading your story has moved me and given me hope and I wish you the very best with your new life

never forget that parents are just assigned to us, we dont have to live out our life with them, it hurts us but we will be better off without them. Most people say your life isnt worth all the time we spend fighting and arguing and treating each other badly. But it is because we will have kids some day and we can pass our love and respect on to them. Your parents should't have treated you that way im so sorry thats what you had to live with as a child and i hope now that you have a fiance you life only gets better from here/ Best of Luck!!

You are strong and beatiful , always rember that

i know you have been through a lot. my parents are similar. i am not even out of middle school yet. they say i exaggerate everything. i don't have siblings like that. i have a little brother who is better than me. he is the favorite of my parents. the eldest cousin in our family comes to baby sit us, and my parents like her better than me. it makes me feel like im trapped in a dark room and crying out. if anybody could hear me, im being ignored, and i can't see the exit. anybody who would give a f*** is overseas. they call me a fat *****, even though im so underweight now, its ridiculous. now my grades are falling. it's a nightmare. go get help, people tell me, but nobody believes me, and im too scared to ask for help anyway. so now i can see that im not alone, and i still have a chance. the room may be dark, but surely there is an exit. and through that exit, there is a light. so i'll keep trying now.

i know you have been through a lot. my parents are similar. i am not even out of middle school yet. they say i exaggerate everything. i don't have siblings like that. i have a little brother who is better than me. he is the favorite of my parents. the eldest cousin in our family comes to baby sit us, and my parents like her better than me. it makes me feel like im trapped in a dark room and crying out. if anybody could hear me, im being ignored, and i can't see the exit. anybody who would give a f*** is overseas. they call me a fat *****, even though im so underweight now, its ridiculous. now my grades are falling. it's a nightmare. go get help, people tell me, but nobody believes me, and im too scared to ask for help anyway. so now i can see that im not alone, and i still have a chance. the room may be dark, but surely there is an exit. and through that exit, there is a light. so i'll keep trying now.

i know you have been through a lot. my parents are similar. i am not even out of middle school yet. they say i exaggerate everything. i don't have siblings like that. i have a little brother who is better than me. he is the favorite of my parents. the eldest cousin in our family comes to baby sit us, and my parents like her better than me. it makes me feel like im trapped in a dark room and crying out. if anybody could hear me, im being ignored, and i can't see the exit. anybody who would give a f*** is overseas. they call me a fat *****, even though im so underweight now, its ridiculous. now my grades are falling. it's a nightmare. go get help, people tell me, but nobody believes me, and im too scared to ask for help anyway. so now i can see that im not alone, and i still have a chance. the room may be dark, but surely there is an exit. and through that exit, there is a light. so i'll keep trying now.

You need to know this- your family do NOT need to be a part of your adult life. At all. When I turn 18 (or perhaps after they've financed college) I really don't want very much to do with them- and I haven't even been through nearly as much as you have. You can surround yourself with any people you want to and can find new parental figures to fill the roles you missed out on. Your life is just about to begin without your family to tie you down :)

Damn girl what the hell I would of called the police by now but good thing u found ur man wish u luc and happiness may the lord bless u

Damn girl what the hell I would of called the police by now but good thing u found ur man wish u luc and happiness may the lord bless u

I stumbled across this after I was done with my homework. I know you wrote this a year ago, and that you might not even read this comment, but I want you to know that when I read your story, my heart felt like it was dying. I started literally bawling because this is basically the story of my life. Lucky for you, you got out of it. Unfortunately, I'm still living it--and I was just verbally and physically abused no more than 15 minutes ago. Thank you for showing me that I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel ashamed for hating my parents and I don't bring it up with my friends, because they get along with them so well, so I thought that nobody felt the way I do. I appreciate that you were brave enough to share your story. (:

I stumbled across this after I was done with my homework. I know you wrote this a year ago, and that you might not even read this comment, but I want you to know that when I read your story, my heart felt like it was dying. I started literally bawling because this is basically the story of my life. Lucky for you, you got out of it. Unfortunately, I'm still living it--and I was just verbally and physically abused no more than 15 minutes ago. Thank you for showing me that I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel ashamed for hating my parents and I don't bring it up with my friends, because they get along with them so well, so I thought that nobody felt the way I do. I appreciate that you were brave enough to share your story. (:

u grew up in a horrible situation and u made it out strong it seems. way to go i know it sucks not to have ur parents support and be the parents u saw on tv i used to wish my family was like the tv families but none ever are. but maybe u and ur fiance can have that family without ur parents cause u do remember everything and they are trying to make u forget like they are trying to cause maybe now they see they were wrong but it is probably to late...wishing u the best in life

here here. i despise mine as well. they are the reason that im depressed and on medication. my whole damn family. only my grandparents are good in my family. yah they have done alot for me but im just simply sick of the stress and all the crap.

i feel you

i feel you

I totally feel the same way, I have my love and now I am free as well. No one can hurt me or cause me pain, I am so happy and getting ready to graduate from college!

sad........ if i was you, i would have hit my mother/father back......i think. but i have the wrong personality to be insulted and not insult back ;)

This story really affects me... I hate my parents too. I am in the process of distancing myself from them; it feels great, and I suggest you do the same. You don't have to deal with them. As long as you are independent financially, you can be physically away from them. If I had your parents, I wouldn't even send them holiday cards. As it is, I just send my parents cards.<br />
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I am dying to know though; how, after going through all this, did you meet your fiancée? I can't imagine letting anyone get close to me after what my parents did, and in comparison they were never as overt about things as your parents. Please let me know... I know you have a lot of comments, but it would help me out, I think.

hey all. i just discovered this site tonight...i look to reading to help me cope with my thoughts these days. <br />
i was in barnes and noble the other night and came across a book related to parents who alienate their kids. this got me to searching the web tonight for matter on this topic...estranged relations with parents or the simple way to put it, hate for parents, or as i typed in "so i hate my parents" and found this. i could totally relate to that book i saw and i can relate to these post as well.<br />
i remember parts of my childhood vividly. my mother and father were never very loving or caring with me and my siblings growing up. my father worked a lot and my mother was a stay at home mom. she was very isolated from the world outside our house and would mainly sleep all day. i remember my mother and father would call us kids names as kids like "stupid" and they would spank us and hit us for doing "wrong" things. "wrong things" like fighting with each other...ect. i remember my mother getting mad at me for getting my clothing dirty and remember this one occasion, me being about 5, and her shoving the dirty socks in my face. Those are some memories that haunt me today. <br />
my mother would rarely clean the house and clean our clothes or even keep food in the house. I remember being hungry a lot of the time. if we wanted to eat food and got caught taking food from the fridge of the cup board we would get hit for that. when i was about 9 my mother had what she calls " a nervous breakdown." In reality she went nutz and starting yelling someone was going to get her. i remember her waking up our entire house at 4 am yelling this. she even went as far as to run up and down the street with my then 3 month old sister banging on neighbors doors yelling this. going to school was bad. all the kids that lived in the area knew what happened. i was embarrassed to go to school and face people.<br />
things were never the same after that. <br />
these nervous breakdowns continued for years to come. i went to bed scared at night sometimes. us kids got into a bad habit of teasing my mother. it was always hostile between us. when we would tease her she would get really mad and eventually hit us. this went on for years...i think we did it out of boredom...or it was our way of expressing our anger...our anger she didnt take care of us like she was supposed to. she threatened to kill us constantly. i remember instances she would chase me up to my room for something i said to her, purposely to hurt her, and she would bang on my door threatening to kill me. this was another reason i found it hard to sleep at nite. i always imagined i would run away from home, or move away, and never come back, and never talk to my parents again. i remember those were my thoughts since roughly 5 or 6 years old.<br />
i used to spend a lot of time alone in my room. i would read and daydream about my life when i graduated high school and when i was old enough to leave. it was my way to cope i guess. i didnt ever have friends growing up. when my siblings and i got along things were ok at home, but that was rare.<br />
i remember that as i got older things got harder. i wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. my parents didnt buy me clothes or even soap sometimes. they cared nothing for taking care of themselves so hence why would they for us kids. it was quite terrible. school was terrible. all the other kids had things i didnt. they would pick on me for this. school and home were nightmares. my entire 18 years with my parents was dark and gloomy. to this day, considering how very different things are from then, i still feel like things should be dark and gloomy in a way. i'm preoccupied with how my parents treated me and how other peoples parents treated them. i wonder why was it me. why was i born to them and why am i to live the life i have now. i have a really hard time being happy. i am worried a lot. i am scared of people. i have seen a therapist for some time and it helped somewhat but this "new" life is so different and scary. i guess i m not sure how to react yet, but i am learning.<br />
as of today my parents care nothing for the house. they let it go to waste. they never clean, nothing, they live in their own filth. they are what you may call hoarders and they care nothing for themselves either. the worst part is, my now 18 yr old bro and 14 year old sis still live there. i feel so horrible for them, but am so ashamed of my family. i dont go home often.<br />
my younger bro and sis are visibly effected by them. my sister doesnt talk and is very behind for her age. at 14 she can barely tell time. i blame this on my mother and father neglecting her. i hate them for that. how could they ever have kids and not take care of them. <br />
i hate it when people ask me about my family. occasionally people will at work and i am terrified inside. i dont know what to say. i dont want to tell them i hate them bc i am scared of them judging me for this. but i dont want to lie. i used to lie growing up when ppl asked and i feel like i am harming myself if i continue. holidays are bad. my family doesnt celebrate and of course ppl are going to ask why. i am so embarrassed when ppl ask. <br />
i hate gettng close to ppl bc they eventually ask about them. my boyfriend of 3 months is curious. his family is really nice and completely opposite my parents. i cant imagine his reaction. when i tell him about them he seems interested and understanding. empathetic toward my situation, but i am so nervous of when and if the day will come when i show them to him. when i show their live to him. i am so ashamed.<br />
my therapist says i shouldnt let them have this control over my life. these feelings of guilt, embarrassment. and it's true. i shouldnt. <br />
i wanted to share my story. i feel like i have no one that truly understands...until i read some of these posts tonight.

I Hate my mother 4 leave

That is a very inspiring story and I am glad you found someone who really cares about you.

Girl, i feel for you! I had a childhood similar to yours- my mother even choked me!<br />
Such parents are evil and do not deserve the love of a child.<br />
<br />
Best wishes from Germany, Nevaeh.

I'm 17, and in the middle of living the same nightmare.<br />
You will be more successful than that stupid mother of yours. You will be better than her, happier than all of them. The best revenge is to flaunt your happiness. ******* hate happiness. ;)<br />
I wish you all the best - I'm glad you're free now.

i know what u been through has been horridmy parents mistreated me till i went 2 foster care at 16 <br />
<br />
they could not look after me<br />
<br />
they even left a hand print on me <br />
<br />
and my dad left my alone in a flat for 3 months<br />
<br />
and my mum still want 2 see me 6 years later<br />
<br />
i have giving up see of phoning my mother and her boyfriend who is worse than u thinkin<br />
<br />
the law should changed before what happened 2 me if it did they prombly be behind bars<br />
<br />
this even cause trouble me promblems at school i spent more time out of school than in it when this was happening<br />
<br />
but i hate 2 go 2 the head master and tell him what i have been through cause i could not take anymore if i did not do this i have no idea why i would be now prombly dead or living on a street<br />
<br />
i don,t need parents around me one of the reasons why i live on my own<br />
<br />
i know it still hurts me now but they not a lot i can change those images of my horrid life living with my parents<br />
<br />
i still could draw what happened this is the only way i can really tell what happened<br />
<br />
now if anyone asks if i have a family i just make up something i even self harm myself cause i could not see the point living on<br />
<br />
i even losed a lot of weight cause they left no food out

Hi, I typed, "I hate my parents" into the computer, and I came across this article. I feel awful, I thought my parents were bad,you know, annoying, telling me off when I am usually in the wrong. But I THINK i'm being too over sensitive. I'm sorry to hear your story, and I'm glad you've found happiness. love Victoria :)

i'm in the position you were in. im 16 and my mom verbaly abuses me. she calls me all sort of names. She always call me fat too. Honestly im average, i have that little flab that everyone has. and at this age, its bad enough. Im self concious as it is. Another thing is im the second oldest of 7 kids and she only cares about the youngest katie. when they go out to eat they'll bring home food just for themselves and katie. Knowinng that there are like 3 kids at home, she purposely doesnt bring any home for them. SHe also omly buys stuff for katie. its just bs. im tired of being treated this way. once im old enough im leaving this house and never talking to my parents again.

Okay here's what happens in my house<br />
1. I'm working on my homework on the computer<br />
2. My dad says to go put away my clothes<br />
3. I get up to put away my clothes<br />
4. My dad realizes I'm not going to fight him on this<br />
5. My dad thinks of a way to start a conflict<br />
6. My dad slams the laptop screen shut, losing my work but not breaking the computer<br />
7. I ask him why he did that<br />
8. He says because it was distracting you (wasn't)<br />
9. I try to turn the laptop on<br />
10. He yells at me to go clean up my clothes<br />
11. I tell him I would already be done if he would leave me alone and I have to turn the laptop on<br />
12. My mom comes in and tells me to clean up my clothes<br />
13. They start yelling at me<br />
14. I get the computer to turn on (power button is broken)<br />
15. I get up to put away the clothes<br />
16. My mom shuts off the computer<br />
17. I run out into the street and walk for a while<br />
18. I come back into the house<br />
19. My parents try to lecture me for three hours<br />
20. I finally finish my homework at about 4 in the morning (I'm only in middle school)<br />
This happened a few days ago.<br />
God I've been waiting to find a site like this<br />
I love this site<br />
It's so good to get this crap off my chest<br />
Can't tell my parents (obviously) <br />
If I tell my friends they get kinda weirded out<br />
Thanks everyone

By the way to the person who was suicidal. I totally understand. I tried to kill myself when I was in high school.<br />
<br />
But your problem is temporary. If you can just wait it out until you are 18 you have the entire rest of your life. And it is a long life so DON'T DO IT.<br />
<br />
I don't have much advice on how to cope what i would say is focus on your grades so you can get a scholarship to a college far away from your parents and think about that and the future to get you through the present.

I hate my parents too. My Dad was just awful, he never spoke to us except to yell at us. When he dropped me off at college he said that he wished that he never had a family so he could have the freedom I now did. I can't think of one positive emotional contribution he ever made to my life.<br />
<br />
My Mom is just toxic and I feel like she is kryptonite to me or something.<br />
<br />
I didn't talk to my parents for like 3 years after college. Now we talk again. I could give a **** about my Dad. I really hate him and don't care. My Mom makes me sad. I wish that she was not the way that she is and that we could have a better relationship.<br />
<br />
But I think that she can't do any better than she does.<br />
<br />
The truth is I don't want them in my life. I'm almost 30 and I want to cut them out and not talk to them again. But I can't really do that.<br />
<br />
I might try family counseling. I don't know what to do. And they act like everything is fine. Sometimes that makes me feel like I am crazy.<br />
<br />
I feel like no one understands and I don't know what to do cause I can't even stand to see an email from my mom. She is like a leach on my life.

i kinda understand I'm not sure if I hate them yet because there are times I regretted saying that but Iget so angry at them my dad is a big jerk who favors my brother always screams and slaps me and never is at home mostly at work. My mother is okay but there are times I hate her soo much she has anger issues so she gets really angry if I do little mistakes and I tell her its only a mistake but she gets angrier and hits me sometimes I talk back to let her know how i feel and she hits me worser like slaps me grabs my hair and hits my head against the wall it wouldnt kill me but it hurts she also lovs insulting me she calls me ugly and stupid and dirty in spanish all the time it sounds even worse. then when I dont make them angry its like we are a perfect family. To everyone else we might be but really it sucks they fight alot mostly just insulting eachother.

My parent rarley hit me but they do alot of emotional damage (since i can talk ) At first i could hold it but its been 13 years and i youst to burn myself and went through isolation until i made friends who reached out and loved me and let me be myself., but my parent didnt like the real me , so im me at school and not me at home. And resently i was me at my house and they got so mad but then i yelled stop being a bi@#h then they were Said " look at yourself", Then i said i am being just like you so why cant i be me? then ran away but later on the cops came and took me back to my house.. its been an awkard silence sence then... YAYYYYY!!!!

I know exactly how you feel. My parents try to take credit for my brains, even though they've both done stuff like yours. I used to think like you did, and imagine myself starving and becoming skinny, or dying and having no one at my funeral because they were busy being happy. Now I realize, it's not my fault, and I don't blindly follow every order my parents give me. After all, they never respected me, or showed they loved me. A lot of kids are bribed with material ob<x>jects, but even if I clean up after them (they make me do it anyway) I never get the rewards promised. Or when we go to the store, they remove my items from the cart so my brown-nosing little sister gets what she wants. I hope you get out of your rut with you parents soon, since there's no hope for the canyon that exceeds the grand canyon between me and my parents.

Thanks for posting up your story, I read it tonight and it made me register on here and post replies to a few other people'e stories too.<br />
It is so strengthening for me to hear that there are others who have been through very similar experiences to myself. My parents and yours sound very familiar.<br />
My mother is still trying to take control, still calls me names, still is a spineless. manipulative and jealous, competitive person who I have learnt to finally hate also. She also has realised she has lost her control over me, especially now that I do not speak to her anymore and couldn't care less what she thinks, says or retaliates with as I will not speak to her. My father was abusive when I was growing up often hitting me, shouting at me and is now in his 60s and claims that everything I have succeeded in is his doing. Yet also like you neither he nor my mother have seen or know anything of the work that I do. <br />
I find it ironic and strangely amusing that my mother claims everything I have done is down to her great parenting and that I still need her ...... she did nothing to help me and I don't need her. <br />
I wish you and your fiance all the best, you make a good strong couple don't ever let your parents try to get inbetween you two. Mine did with me and my now husband, it was the last straw. He could see it all too, he had been through a similar childhood and 'adulthood' with his parents also...who he also does not speak to anymore

i dont want to hate my parents.i want to love them.but i cant.

Good for you. You should tell your parents how you feel and move on with your life.

It sucks to have such parents like yours. Hope you don't let the unhappiness get in the way of forging genuine warmth and joy in your future relationships; wishing you all the best- your online pal.

I empathise - and I totally understand that you dont love your parents. Love might not even be earned - but its definitely true that it can be lost. Your parents dont deserve your love, and you're wonderful for still working hard in life and not taking your hurt out on others.<br />
<br />
Your mum sounds exactly like my mum - my mum denies what happened in the past too. My dad wasnt abusive but all my life all my parents can ever think of is what i can do for them. Even now dad calls only to ask me to buy him things or do things for him. and they wonder why all I ever thought growing up was to get married and leave home. Isnt it funny that since I was 18 I had to earn money to bring up my family but they still want to control me and treat me like a child. <br />
<br />
I'm getting married next week and we're moving overseas. Now that I'm extremely successful all my parents can think of is how to insult my fiancee cos they think my family is too good for his family, when it's actually the opposite. My fiancee's family treats me extremely well, and I love them, because they never ever ask anything of me, and all they try is to give me affection and yummy food and money. and dspite the mistreatment, my fiancee is never mad or angry, but loves me even more because I have survived my parents and he wants to heal the hurts I have.<br />
<br />
My mum hit me until I was 21. she threw me on the floor and stomped and kicked me. Of course, she does not remember this event.

u may think Im ungreatful.. and all i do is whine.. But there's only this much i can take. After YEARS of emotional abuse, i feel powerless. Most of what i do, is because ive been blackmailed to do it. I've been abused physically too..pushed against a wall and have my mother bang my head against the wall... I've been stangeled, slapped, hit with shoes and belts... All in the name of "discipline" and "upbringing" Frankly, I'm a little tired of all this. Often, tears roll down my face, and i dont evenknow why! I feel like running away, or ending my life<br />
<br />
its almost like you've lived my life! And i'd rather be torn to shreds by an animal than live this god forsaken life!<br />
<br />
Sending love your way!

I was reading that...And it reminded me of my dad SO much. I even cried whie reading your article. I can't wait to get out of my house. This even inspired me and made me feel that if you did it, I could probably do it too...=] thank you

it's alright. you're a wonderful woman and God loves you. <br />
:) >:D< your fiance is there for you and he loves you :D<br />
i'm happy you're happy now..<br />
great story miss.

I understand what you went through. Can I ask you one question. What did you do to cope with all of this? I mean our situations might not have been the same but they are freakishly similar. Im 16 and everything I use to cope is slowly geting taken away. I listen to music, but my mom just took that away. I go online and talk on chatgroups or anything but now im being timed, even as I write this. I cant tell anyone at school because I am too afraid to let anyone know. I dont know what to do anymore to cope, so Im asking you. I think if I dont find anything I might do something. Ive been thinking about suicide a lot, and im worried that i might act upon it. I feel that way now, I know its not good but at the moments I am at my lowest I dont know if I could not do it. I mean I've already planned it, I know where, I'm just worried that a oint will be reached that I dont care anymore and lagitely lose it. Im stuck in my own home I cant even go out to cope. So I'm just asking how did you cope with it all? So I can at least be able to handle it. You dont have to if you dont want to though.

poor yu hunny :( they sound AWFUL take care babe :) x

its ok baby, im only 14 but my mom is the same axact way. shes an acholic. and my dad dosnt beleive me. so i take care of my brother and my whole family bc shes aways out of it and my dad always works

Honey I understand exactly what your going through, except in my life it was, well still is, my alcoholic dad. Its hard but you have to know something better is out there - and I promise there is. Hang in there...

i like you have been abused ,both verbally and psychically, ever since i was a child around the age of 4, i hate my parents becuase they treat me like S*** and they dun care about me, they just throw money at the education and expect me to get straight A's it's not that i dun try but i give it all i got but they don't see that. So seeing someone else out there that shares a similar story and seeing that you have got your happy ending has given me hope for my happy ending so thank you.<br />
<br />
Thank you <br />

Thanks for the offer Katie, but I'm not sure I'm ready for something like that. I hope your article is published, because its a wonderful idea.

Thank you so much Goldenheart2, that was really nice to hear, today more than most. Your username does you justice, you do have a golden heart and it was so kind of you to comment and say what you did.

Option 2: <br />
It sounds like you've had it very tough and been through more than anyone<br />
ever should, and I'm so sorry to hear about your experience.<br />
<br />
I work for a major national magazine, and we're currently looking for girls<br />
ages 16-22 who are willing to share stories like yours with readers, some of<br />
whom may have had similar experiences for a story about living with tough<br />
parents who don't always act as they should. If you or anyone you know would<br />
be interested, please e-mail me as soon as possible at<br />
17featuresint2@hearst.com.<br />
<br />
Thank you,<br />

omg..thats such a terrible ordeal to go through.u have suffered enough. i hope u have a happy and joyful life ahead.u r really strong. Cant imagine how hard those days must have been.i feel happy that u made it through those terrible times.may god bless you.

Pre-paid carma, anything you do that's bad in the future was paid for in the past

I don't know what to say... Thank you Kinky, that is so lovely. <br />
I am always here for you too :)

i'm so sorry you had to go through all that *hugs* i'm glad you have someone who loves and cares about you instead of someone who would continue to put you down....and now you have us--your EP family :D *hugs* i'm always here if you need me!!