My Mother Hates Me!

I've hated myself because of my mother, I've hated other people because of her. She pushed us away from all my other family because she doesn't get along with them. I've had to learn to thing on my own because she's lazy. She has verbally abused me for as long as I can remember, and it's more then that now, she throws anything and everything at me (the latest thing being the remote and her glass cup) she will grab my hair and shove my head against the wall and she even laughs when I cry. I don't understand how anyone could hurt their kids like this. She got tumors in her throat a couple years ago and I prayed it would be cancerous and kill her but it didn't and now she uses government money to aid her laziness she's not even sick I hate her! She's hypocritical and mean and I just can't ever do anything right! I've been cutting myself for years contemplating suicide and wishing things would happen to her or me! I wouldn't mind dying. She already disowned my older brother when he moved out. I miss him. I don't know what to do anymore. My life sucks. How am I going to do this? My life's so complicated but she won't help me with anything I have to basically raise myself because I have no one else. I really need help and I have no where to turn. I wish I could just do it, just take my life right now!
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 23, 2013