I Want To Be A Better Person Than They Are

I don't love my dad. He doesn't love me either.
Since I was 15, if I don't get myself food, I don't eat. and I don't mean from the fridge, I mean from the supermarket. This is really difficult because I'm 17, I can't get a job and I'm running out of savings (which were supposed to be for University).
I have on so many occasions gone downstairs at dinner time not only to find that they (dad and his horrible girlfriend) have already eaten without me, but that they ordered in and there is no food anywhere.
I ask for food and my dad ignores me, he doesn't go shopping, he doesn't do anything. Unless it's for her.
This is where the major problem comes in... HER. The girlfriend. We live with her now, as of a few months ago, and I can honestly say I hate her and I hate her family. She is the most selfish, uncaring, stupid person I have ever met.
If something isn't worth a lot of money, it isn't worth anything at all to her. She values material possessions over her family and constantly expects my dad to pay out for the latest overpriced "must-have". and she has a tantrum if she doesn't get it. she thinks she's so clever, getting everything she wants from a man who cant even afford it.
Apart from her obsession with expensive stuff, she's also been turning my dad against me. We used to like eachother, me and my dad, we used to be friends! And she comes along, an assuming little two-faced attention *****, and my dad forgets about me They've been together for nearly 2 years now, and I can't stand either of them. I ask for money or for food an my dad goes off on one about not having any money or ignores me completely, but he'd happily spend £500 on shoes (YES, SHOES) for HER. I want her leave!
In the past year, she has told my dad that I have hit her, I have stolen money from her, I have told her to f*** off repeatedly, I have told her to die and even told her to kill herself. ALL OF THAT IS UNTRUE. I might hate her, but I would never say anything to her about it!
That's why my dad doesn't want me around anymore, he's waiting for the day I turn 18 so he can kick me out. He has tried to put me in social care a number of times, believing I'm the problem. There's only one parasite in this house, and it isn't me.
There are many small things she does purposefully to annoy me, to try to make me react so she can have something to tell my dad about me. She will go into my room and take what she wants, not bothering to put it back or ask. She feels she can treat me like s*** because she knows y dad won't stick up for me if I tell him. My theory is that she wants me to be out of the picture, and she hopes that by turning my dad against me, I'll disappear out of her life forever, and she can roll herself in all my dad's debt he's racking up for her expensive holidays and nights out. She's so fake, all of her is fake. She tells my dad she loves him, but I know she moans about him to her friends on the phone, I hear her tell them all about the lengths she will go to so she doesn't have to work a day in her life, and how my dad's such a sucker. I hate her. And I hate him for believing her crap!
I've considered running away, but I have nowhere to go. If I lived on the streets, I wouldn't be able to go to my school. This is a problem because I am so determined to be better than my dad and his pathetic girlfriend! I HAVE TO FINISH MY A-LEVELS. It's the only way I'm going to get a good enough job to move out, move a million miles away and never see either of them again.
At the moment I'm finding it so hard to keep it together, everything they do irritates me, especially as I know they're doing it to hurt me. I really need to get out, these people are destroying me! I haven't been shown any love or affection or even the slightest care in 2 years.
If I ever have kids, I will make sure they never go through this, and I will move to the other side of the world to make sure they never meet my dad and his hideous woman.
If the payback for raising children is that they look after you in your old age, then when my dad's old, he's on his own.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 23, 2013