I Wish I Could Have Changed It

It started when I was 6 months old that I had to see see my dad get put in jail for something I know he did not try to do but happened, I fell out of my highchair and broke my collar bone my mom said. We went to a doctors office and they asked who was home at the time it happened and she said my dad, they charged him with child abuse and put him in jail. I got letters from him and one of them said that he promised he would come home and be a normal family. And another said that there is no greater love than the love a father has for his daughter and he would never stop having that love pour out. Well he was diaebetic and did not get his blood checked before he left and was sick from his medican. He came home six months before I turned 5 and was sick and was not acting right. He was put in the hospitial twice, 1st was for a broken nose and the second time he did not come home. And I guess he knew he was not comming back home and mom said he said that he said no don't take me away again. Mom was praying he would not die on my 5th birthday; he died on June 7,2002 from liver cancer. I put a fathers day card and a picture of me inside of his thing. And when I turned 7 my mom met my stepdad at church and he seemed good until after they got married. He is alawys fighting and at church I was praying that they would stop but it never got answered. When I was in 5th grade my one of my little nieces was spending the night, it was bed time and mom asked for me to take the book she was reading so she could brush her teath (she was only like between 4-6 years old) she startes screaaming and he comes in and grabs my legs drags me in the kitchen and breaks a wooden and plastic spoon on my legs that gave my welts. He told the cops I was being bad thay asked me what happened so I tried to tell them but they did not listen to me. And no one did anything till he pushed me out the door and I landed on my back. He calles me names all the time and says I am worthless. I have to deal with this and getting bullied. Like in 3rd grade this boy was saying that my dad did not love me and I killed him and that he died because he said I was ulgy and I got upset. And last year in 9th grade I don't know who wanted to just get some kicks by starting a rumor that I finger myself. People kept asking me what I ment I thought that it was when you stick your middle finger up, and the girl I think started it asked me questions about it and I started getting upset because I told her its not ture and started getting upset and everyone started saying why was I upset and who would upset me because I keep to myself. She said " you know about the rumor going around" everyone started nodding and I got more upset because all of the few people that I thought were my friends told me to get away and said all kinds of different names. She said is that why your crying I lied and told her that it was because my grandmother died. That rumor makes me not want to go to school even though it happened when I was in 9th grade and now in 10th. It makes it worse because I got sexualy assualted when I was in 7th grade. I wish I could go back in time to change it.
Pikachu246 Pikachu246
18-21, F
Nov 26, 2012