~ I Was Raped By My Uncle ~

When I was in the 7th grade my uncle ( my dad's brother ) moved in with us , it was great at first , but one day I came home from school and my uncle was the only one there , he asked me to come to his bedroom he wanted to show me something , he told me to sit on his bed  so I did , and that's when my nightmare started , he put his hand on my leg and started moving it up slowly , I told him to stop that I didn't want him to touch me there , but he told me No that if I would just relax I would like the way it felt , I tried to leave the room but he through me back down on the bed and took my cloths off and then he raped me , when my mom and dad came home I told my mom what happend , and I was shocked when she told me not to say anything to anyone about it , my mom told me that if my dad found out he would not be happy or love me anymore , I was daddy's little girl so I could not let him find out , my dad was blind so it was easy to keep things from him , so everyday for about 2 weeks when I would come home from school it was the same thing over and over , and then one day my prayers was answered , my uncle told us he was moving out and going to another state , but the day he was moving I saw him and my mom kissing , the next day I asked my mom why she let him do that to me , and she said because I love him , so I grew up thinking that no matter what you are going through or how bad it is you will do whatever it takes to make the one you love happy , for years I could not feel the love that I should be feeling for my mom , but I did forgive her in 2000 when she was on her death bed , and I told her for the first time since that awful day that I loved her , I'm 38 now and I'm trying so hard to over come what my uncle did to me , I am hoping that someday I will put all of this behind me , and maybe then my life will be okay again .

                            ~ Beautiful Disaster ~


41-45, F
56 Responses Sep 8, 2006

I am so sorry.....I am so happy all that **** is behind you.

i would do anything to be able to take those memories away

A male friend of my mom and aunt ask them to let him take me to school every morning and pick me up at the classroom door every evening. he was our chauffer, drove a fully loaded 1964 coupe d'ville or a fleetwood, it had huge back seats, they was thick. the chauffer would pull me close, whiper something in my ear, kiss me, and hold me tight while i cry. then he would start to play with the hem on my skirt. he said let me help you to relax. all the seats in his car moved up and down, and back and forth. he had a vibrator. the vibratator felt relly good buzzing to my girl parts. i told him it makes me wanna tee tee. then he stuck his finger over the opening and rubbed my little girl parts until i passed out and wet my self in his hand. my mom beat me when i got home for being late. being wet, and lying on my chauffeur. so i ended up dropping out of school at age 11. i went and bought a nurse uniform and started taking classes in one of the teaching hospitals. i made me an i.d. and a diploma. worked in nursing for forty years.
married in my thirties. had back to back miscarriages. husband left me because i hate sex with men and i dont have any women friends. i only like to be cuddled and felt up by men. the penis hurts to bad to put it inside my vajaja...especially when my husband humps, and i vomit when he releases his seed. the sight of thick,slimy hot stinking ***** - makes me weak in the knees and makes me dry heave and vomit for as long as i know it is in the room. when i am alone i play with my button, rub my breasts, move my hips, and let the pee and the soft girly-girly juice roll out on the pet pads and expensive towels. i do this twice a day. sometimes i just wear a pullup and pee at work while rubbing my button with my thighs.
both hands are in plain sight. i breath through it deeply and pee so warm and softly.
I think if i had never been raped by my chaufer, i would have ended up with not exploring this deeper and softer sex with my spirit and me. i am nor ******* my self, because i am not alone when i play. sometimes when i starts getting really good - i pray in tongues and sing to God for this freedom. There is nothing in Gods word against ************ by yourself.
there are only three types of girls in this world 1) girls who do. 2) girls who lie about doing it. and 3) girls who have participated in female circumcisum and got their bits cut out.
they have to do a two ended bong - but it is fun. just make sure you are doing sex with a person who is over 18years old, who is not retarded or special needs. use common sense.
it it hurts - quit immediately. listen to your girlfriend's body. love her body. respect her body.
wish i could meet a clean, fine man, who only wanted to play in the sailboat with his tongue, and knock on my door with his baton, massage my breasts, and passionately kiss all night.
he could held me all night and all day. i would play with his baton to bring him to making it drain. guess i like to see the water come out, but not that snot looking stuff. eeeew.

Stay strong.

god bless you

Hi, dont have a lot of words to say to you...just that I will hope and pray that you are able to put this behind you and make this life beautiful for yourself and your boys...take care :)

I'm sorry! It pains me to hear what you went through. I know that you will see brighter days. As long as your mind is in line with your heart, you can live the life you want to.

i am very sorry try conselling it helped me and im 13

I'm so sorry... I don't even know wwhat to say...

Thank you

That is SO sad. No offense, but your mom was TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs* im so sorry this happened to you. My uncle abused me but i was more fortunate.. my mum, despite loving him, wanted to see him punished and loved me more. I hope you are able to overcome this.! My love, Luna xXx

poor little girl with no one to defend, I feel sorry for you and I wish you whispered that to your dad. I love you.

I so sorry for you :)

I was raped by my uncle too :(

do you know I have the same problem :(

do you know I have the same problem :(

I know where you are coming from. I too was raped by my uncle. Unlike you i seem to have repressed most of the actual experience. My uncle lived with us so this went on for almost a year.<br />
I still find my self reacting to certain experiences in ways i don't understand but get a feeling it's a defensive action due to that experience.

I know where you are coming from. I too was raped by my uncle. Unlike you i seem to have repressed most of the actual experience. My uncle lived with us so this went on for almost a year.<br />
I still find my self reacting to certain experiences in ways i don't understand but get a feeling it's a defensive action due to that experience.

HI think he is going to hell.

I can sympathize with the young lady who wrote this story but i was also abused by my dad i tried to get help but my parent's told there lawyer i lied. now why in god's name would a 12 year old kid lie about something like that. my dad did it again when i was 17 both times my story never changed<br />
everyday i try to put it behind me its easier said then done. i wish i could go back and change it but i cant. All i can do now is keep goin forward . my dad i will never forgive him but my mom i will always love her no matter what even though she is just as guilty as my dad for leaving me alone with him while she was gone.

i was a foster child beatings etc looked for family molested at 12 used a runaway i saw a movie called what the bleep do we know? it set off self discovery seeking im 53 see what the bleep store .com know yourself its a huge universe seek and you will find and the servant will become your master

your mother should have been ashamed

1st - Don't hurry a loot of people have that tragic Past, and you cant absolutely let it change stuff in present, just think, it hapened, now it will never hapend again, you are grown up, and you are safe, now you need to focus on yourself and your life, and forget it, it will be inposible, eatch day you ear a News on TV about that, you will remenber again, i assure you that, and you probably already know, but Focus Present and Future, and all will be fine.<br />
<br />
2nd - Your mom was not CLose to be a real mom, if she made that to you... she is not even worth to call you her Daughter, and if she is still alive, if i was on your place i ould NEVER forgive her, Never.<br />
a mother stands By her child, always.<br />
And if He is still alive, i ould Ruin his life, i ould find him, and make him pay on jail, and then i ould be like, "Bayback is a *****"<br />
<br />
Focus Present, Kill past and Embrace Future

see a movie called what the bleep do we know? at at bleepstore.com know who you are learn what makes you tick dont get caught up in everyday struggles

I would like to share something here as I've too gone through similar case like you.....To forget about this, what I did was, I tried my best to not think about it because it always been a nightmare for me whenever I came across of it.. For yrs I made myself nt to thk abt it n nw 7yrs plus its nt in my mind bt do smtms thks of it wen smtg reminds me of tat....i pray for you so that you always cn overcm it n live a happy life....take care n im so sorry for you,,,,,,,,,,,,

Many people admire your strong personality. Indeed you're a person worth of that. Never give up. Pray always. God loves you. You have a forgiving heart. Don't let eveil things bring you down. Continue to be strong. Please just try God's love. Pray to him. It's never too late for anything. I'm sure you could handle it. You're someone who's worth of respect and admire. God Bless always.

It good that you forgave your mother, because you needed to do that for yourself. Anger eats away at you and harms you if can't be forgiving. The scars will be there for life, but it seems as if you've learned to be a survivor rather than continuing to be a victim.

WOW...sacrifice one or two children for a meal ticket??? WTH is wrong with that way of thinking...I'd rather be begging on the streets and have the rotten sicko put in jail for life then worry about our next meal.

hey if u need someone to talk to iam here my facebook name is thomas t hall i have a pic of mr. hanky the x-miss **** lol but if u mail me ill tell u what happened to me

omg, that is a very horrible story to have read. You may have loved your mother, but for what she did? Omg, you don't have to forgive me for saying this, because I mean it when I say: I hope she has the most treacherous and disastrous afterlife. smh...I feel bad for you.

straight up<br />
thats is disgusting of your uncle<br />
and who cares what your mom said<br />
you should of reported him to the police or to a counsler<br />
im sorry but even when this has never happened to me, it gets me frustrated when other are hurting and when these things happen<br />
your uncle would have deserved to be in jail<br />
you were so little and being forced to do something, that is sick<br />
so well i hope you now know that those things need to be reported.<br />
your mom was wrong too because what kind of mom allows an old family member to sexually rape you...<br />
i hope everything is better<br />
i really hope god helps your family for acting this way

thats really ssad i do understand how u feel in every way.ihad the same thing happen to me by two uncle n other people ..... i know is hard to live with whe u been raped for manny years and never saying anything to anyone till 16 years later is harder because that meens ihad in me for so long it was killing inside....iwish u the best n also will pray for you....

SO so sorry to hear that !!! You are so strong!!Like you !!Best wishes belong to you forever!!!!

ur story is like movie,a very sad movie,but that's the life,no one can change it,as there r lambs there r also wolves,i tried to not to be a lamb nor a wolf for that i became a lion,i will bear what the life will bring and i will fight the wolves if they attack me,wish u all the best

ur story is like movies,a very sad movie,but this is life,no one can change it,as there r lambs there r also wolves,i tried not tp be lamb nor a wolf then i found my self a lion,i will bear what the life will bring to me,and i will fight the wolves if they attack me,wish u all the best

i'm sorry to hear that:-(......ur so strong to bear all that.....wish i'm like u:-(

What that man was child sex abuse...no child should have to go thru that... your mom was absoutely wrong!!!! Just because your dad was blind is no excuse not to tell. you have been damaged by the abuse....PLEASE get some counseling you need to help yourself cope....God Bless momtoabusedchild

if yu r the uncle I would sppit on yu and garland yu with slippers


LOL! HAHH pwned...

i know ur pain....the same happened to me when i was a kid my uncle raped me when i was 2 he did it for bout a year....he said if he did it 2 me then he wouldnt do it 2 my brothers...later on in my life i have found it he did do it 2 them but the point im makin is i think you are all very strong and i applaude you in sharing as a man i always thougt it was harder for me but the older i get i realise that now at 22 betreyal always carries the same bitter flavour...i send my love to you all and want you to know that it isnt your fault its theres and that the strongest people are the ones like us who have been betrayed byour closest relatives and yet go on 2 trust people again<br />
<br />
i love you all and wish you all ahappy life xxxx

i feel very sad that wr are betrayed by people we feel are our loved ones .<br />
I was not raped but touched intimately by my mother's brother.. i was eighteen. <br />
For a long time I blamed myself whether I was cheap. This was my secret . Now i told my huband and we will joke about it . i will call him my porki mama (uncle)<br />

My uncle raped me frm the age of 5 until 19 when i ran away now i live on my own but i have terrible nightmares of him hurting me i hope i can get over it soon

ur very strong

i know how you feel when i was a toddler i was raped by my uncle and so was my big sis. my ma confronted her step-ma (her half-brother did it) and they told her to shut her d@mn mouth and later on we got disowned from the rich side of our family. sometimes i wonder what would have happened if my ma had said nothing . would we be living with everything we needed instead of living without what we needed? would we be in want of money and food? would we be accepted? idk ****** and rape is REALLY COMMON in my ma's side of her family. in fact my ma was NEVER a virgin. she was raped by her greatgrandfather,grandfather,dad,uncle,cuzins and stuff starting from when she was 2 yrs old.i am always feeling like my family and me are always walking thru life covered in shame and shadows always doing without because of our families messd up minds and stuff.....

i'm sorry to hear about your story hope u get over it soon.

It seems to me that this sort of " let sleeping dogs lie" attitude that was practiced by our parents does not seem to happen as much now!...it was the stigma of having ones..Father,husband,brother,Lover, etc. arrested and ALL to know.......! plus many woman really had NO other way of supporting themselves and the Kids if the Bread-winner was Jailed....so many Mothers sacrifised 1 or so children so that the Whole Family did not Collapse........!Please this is only an observation that I discovered while talking to others in a Group of Alternative Lifestylers.

I wish I could be as strong as you.... and forgiving as well... <br />
your story is the first story I've read, I'm new here you see...:)

Beautiful, yes deep in your spirit their is great beauty. You must have dug real deep to enter into the area of forgiveness. I wonder is that just came from inside, or good counsel was surrounding you? Nonetheless, a huge obstacle to overcome. The blessing was to overcome evil with good. That is what happens when we forgive. It is a courageous thing to do, and the self reward from it is we enter onto the path of healing. That is only "the spirit of wisdom" that prompts you towards that necessary pathway. You are a warrior, and in that difficult moment to give up yourself for the better of your mom. You received the Victory. Continue on your journey towards the fullness that God wants you to have.

Im so sorry.<br />
You be able to forgive but you'll never forget

So sorry to hear that, but I'm proud of you for moving on. Good Luck with the rest of your life and I hope you don't have anymore painful experiences like that.

WTF? that is so sick. he needs to find his own *****, not be doing crap like that to someone related to him. i feel so so sorry for you. good luck honey!!!

im so sorry :(

It sounds to me like, as awful an experience as it must have been, you have still grown up to be an insightful and understanding person who will someday learn to cope with your past. I really admire you for that. Best of luck.

i understand your feelings because something way too similar happened to me, but for me it was my father and my older brother. i have gotten *help* but it simply changes who you are. i'm 45 and i now know that i will NEVER forget but all i can do is TRY to accept it as being part of my PAST. Bless you and hang in there!!

I am deeply saddend to hear you story but also i am glad that you have made it this far. You seem like a good person and i will say a prayer for you.