Stupid Period...i Just Hate It

I remember calling my period my gift for the new year. First thing I knew when I woke up on the first day of the year(when I was eleven) was a stain of blood on the sheets. Now, I think of it as the curse of the new year, of every year and of every month of the year.

When I was thirteen or fourteen I had an accident at school. I was wearing a white pair of trousers that I really liked and at some point a classmate came to me while we were playing volley-ball and told me that I should go change because I have blood... I felt like hell, I wanted the earth to open so I would never have to face the day of light and the people of the school in my life again. That didn't happen but I was lucky that I had a jacket with me and I wrapped it around my waist. It was so humiliating.

I don't understand why I have to have a period. Is it really because Eva disobeyed God and he told her that she would have pains when she would give birth? I don't believe in that stuff. In the other hand I don't want to have children. Did anyone ask me? Why do I have to be tortured every 20 days? And those who say that I will change my mind, first of all I won't, second of all, so be it, third of all there are so many kids searching for a home. We say science is so evolved and medicin and all that stuff, but can they halp with this? I don't think so.

This morning, I had the best mood that I remember having for a month. Yesterday I decided to start spanish lessons, today I found the best teacher... All set. At noon, lovely period enters the scene. In the afternoon I decide to go on vacation with my sister, one hour later I want to just hit the walls until my hands hurt... I can't take this anymore. Enough with the depression already, I don't need a bonus every month.

And, I have a pain in my back which is really bad and leaves after three or four days. No meds help. These days my back hurts even without the period, so now it's ten times worse. I just want to live my life the way I want. I can't keep feeling like **** every month and after a couple of hours or more often days realise it's because of the period. I want it to stop. Forever.
aloneforlong aloneforlong
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 29, 2010

I am really sorry yours is so bad. Mine is not always a picnic, and I always wish I didn't get it, but yours sounds really painful and hard. I truly feel for you.

I had painful periods for years and had tried all medications to no avail. I had a vaginal ablation a few years ago and it really helped. My period pain ruined my life but It is not so bad now.