I Feel So Broken

Like many others on this site, I came upon this web site by mistake. I hate who've I've become I am angry, bitter, resentful, sad and just a plain *****. I look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. Sadness fills my eyes and pain drips out my tears. I was so in love, this man was the one I had been praying for all along. God was so good to me and answered my prayers on that warm July night. Now there are knives stabbing at my heart, my soul is being sucked out, I am completely drained. I cannot even begin to explain where or how I went wrong. All I did was love unconditionally, but the fairy tale soon came to an end. When my eyes opened from this beautiful dream, a cold harsh reality hit, nothing quite what I ever expected. Why must he lie all the time, why is he so so needy, why does he lie is the question I cannot even begin to answer. I am always 100 percent honest with him and his lying and neediness has taken a toll on me. It could all be so simple, but he'd rather make it hard. I feel broken and I feel so depressed its just much easier to stay than actually go. Why am I so weak? I am scared to fail again.

prettybrowneyez prettybrowneyez
26-30, F
Feb 17, 2010