Be The Bigger Person?

Keep them as far away as possible Toxic people are just that! They have no right to bully and mistreat anyone. So don't offer them any opportunties to continue! If they do not act like " family" why interact at all. Having contact at all is a loose loose situation.

The best thing to do when it comes to in laws is just to ignore them. They can say what they want about you, live your life to please yourself and the people that really matter to you.

Sweety they will never change'. I met my husband when i was 16 years old am 48 now and after all these years and they still show dislike towards me and my children. These are four grown woman. my husband is the baby out of seven and he's 47 years old. there's the one sister yvette who;s the leader if she dosen't want to deal with you none will including his mother. I too thought i would gain sisters. I have none but i was so young and wonderfull that i thought they would love me the way they loved each other!!! Boy was i wrong over the years they have been so evil to me!!! long story short . I gave birth and none of them came to see my son he' s 26 now. Including his mother i felt so bad for my husband. of course they said our child was not his!! joke on them they look like twins.and so many times ive reach out to them and they've been nothing but *******.Their excuse i tTOOK their baby bother away from them and their all jealous haha how lame!!! Ive build my life without them in it. i have friends and my own family. Our 10 years old little girl who i love is my joy and my great son . They know who they are but these people chose to be strangers to my childrens and to me.so it's the 2011 and they still trying to break us up with their crazy lies. The older they get the more they try to play their games!!! Thank god my husband see them for what their about. Their lost they could have had loving ,caring always wants to be there for you inlaw me!!! So my husband and i have move on. we give our love and to my family and ours friends. Their lost!!!!!!! MOVE ON HONEY THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE !!!!!!!!!!

So what did you end up doing and how did you decide to handle this situation since you posted this story over a year ago? I'll post what I would have posted then: I don't think that continuing to try to be close to them equates as being the better person anyway. I am sure you have other people in your life who love you, so you don't really need them and they are obviously not worthy of you anyway, if they can't appreciate you for who you are. I have a bunch of sisters but we have always welcomed someone new married into the family, as if they were family already, so I can't understand their attitude towards you. But I really don't think you need that from them.



I've reached out on both sides in my family, meaning to someone new who marries into my family, as well as trying to be very, very nice to my MIL and SIL. Some people are just ignorant and unfeeling and if they do not appreciate me then that is fine, I will go on to live my life and they are the ones missing out (particularly his family, who would and could be spending more time with him, thanks to me - why wouldn't someone want that?? lol).

I am a sister to a brother with a niece. My sister in law, in my eyes, is extremely lazy and not what my family expected of my brother. She stays home all day, but yet the house looks like she lives in ghetto and does drugs all day. I have to go and take my niece so that she is fed and bathed, meanwhile, safe while my brother works. I get very irrate when thinking of her. Today, I stop by, she s sitting on the couch watching her daily law an order and all other shows that the G D cable box has to offer, while my 11 month old niece sits in this chair not able to move, dirty, and claps and cries for me when I walk in. Stef, I mean *****, we ll call her will say the same as you. She s the victim in this situation. She s tried to be nice to me. She s tried this and that. But she s stole from me, my mom, my dad, and we stayed quite. My brother now says to me, "I shouldve listened to you, why didnt you stop this" (I tried), but now my brother ask me to come get his daughter, to do all these things while he works so he knows that she is safe. Maybe your husband feels this way about you, along with the sisters and will not leave because no one knows if the baby will be safe or not. Im not judging you in anyway, but before a woman marries any man you need to really look and make sure its not a Cinderalla story....

I am a sister to a brother with a niece. My sister in law, in my eyes, is extremely lazy and not what my family expected of my brother. She stays home all day, but yet the house looks like she lives in ghetto and does drugs all day. I have to go and take my niece so that she is fed and bathed, meanwhile, safe while my brother works. I get very irrate when thinking of her. Today, I stop by, she s sitting on the couch watching her daily law an order and all other shows that the G D cable box has to offer, while my 11 month old niece sits in this chair not able to move, dirty, and claps and cries for me when I walk in. Stef, I mean *****, we ll call her will say the same as you. She s the victim in this situation. She s tried to be nice to me. She s tried this and that. But she s stole from me, my mom, my dad, and we stayed quite. My brother now says to me, "I shouldve listened to you, why didnt you stop this" (I tried), but now my brother ask me to come get his daughter, to do all these things while he works so he knows that she is safe. Maybe your husband feels this way about you, along with the sisters and will not leave because no one knows if the baby will be safe or not. Im not judging you in anyway, but before a woman marries any man you need to really look and make sure its not a Cinderalla story....

I feel like I could have writen this myself. I tried for years with my sister-in-laws and it got me no where. My husband also tried talking to them. Letting them know I felt like they were going out of their way to keep me an outsider. The batted their eyes and said they had no clue what he was talking about. Later I was accused of starting problems and crying cause I was not the center of attention. I never wanted to be the center of attention, I just wanted to be a part of the family. I finally stood up for myself and told them all where they could stick it. My husband has been right by my side and I feel so much better about the situation!

I hope you are able to work through this, or just stop worrying about it because they will never be what you want them to be. The sound just like my SIL's and they are only happy when they have someone to leave out and talk about. More than likely they are jealous of you. I would distance myself if I were you. I would keep my daughter away as mush as possible but don't keep her away completely, keep it to holidays, birthdays etc. I would NOT attend the baby-shower (make an excuse), but I would send a nice gift. If for some reason she doesn't invite you to the shower, you should still send a nice gift. In your heart you will feel better about being the better person. You can't let go until you stop letting them hurt you.

If they don't treat you with respect, they won't treat your daughter very well either. My ILs all have tried to get close to our child meanwhile have been horrible to me.I gave them chances to spend time with him, but never alone. I simply did not trust them. Sure enough......they were only trying to get close to try and undermine our family, NOT to be closer. I say follow your instincts and whatever you think is best for your family, do.

Well my sil is nothing but a crisis giving pain in the /4#@ I am happy not to see her, yet hub is real close to her. yuk that is my issue....



You are obviously Italian are your in laws also or are they just plain white bread folks. Some certain people don't get along and are judging, I hope they come around for all your sake soon. I know I am also Italian and my hub is real Southwestern so the cultrual differences can be challenging. Take Care

B

feel for you. I have two sister so my husbands sister was no big deal but still wanted to be accepted. Well forget that. First they are hispanic and I am not. Strike one. I have two kids from a pervious marrage stricke two and I won't let her boss me around. She was the only girl with three brothers so she can do no wrong. She is 8 years older than my husband, has never been married and has no kids but she instist she has the answers to all child related problems as well as relationship advice and has made it all to clear that when she is talking to my husband I am not supposed to comment or have an opion even with the conversation has everything to do with me and will even start talking spanish in front of me with him. I love my husband but had I know his family better i might have changed my mind.

My advice is too cut them loose and live your own life. I guess the only problem is, if your husband is close to these two sisters. Sister are really manipulating and brothers tend to believe their crap. I have made it quite clear to my sister in law that she is to live her life, and we are to live ours and I am happy as she rarely comes over and when she calls we just make up excuses that we are going out. She knows damn well we are not but still tries to weezle her way in via her brother. If they are toxic, cut them loose I say as they bring no goodness to your or your childs life.

I am going through the same thing with my two sisters in law. One is extremely manipulative and the other one worships the ground she walks on. My poor husband doesn't want to deal with their crap anymore, but his elderly mother (who is just as manipulative as the daughters) is still alive and he doesn't want to hurt her. To make matters worse (okay this sounds awful) my husband had to save the the manipulative sister's life by giving her a bone marrow transplant!!! The irony! She's done nothing but stab him in the back for years! Now that she's in remission, she's up to her old tricks. She called the other night and wanted to "talk"...just to stir up crap again! What to do??

I can really feel from where you are coming? I went through the same experience. I have two sisters in law just as urs we v the same age I started the same way( friendly-loving-caring...

You don't need to be the bigger person you need to think about your well-being.you come first. CUT with them .As for your daughter try your best to fill the gaps( don't give them the chance to replace you)this has serious results in futur!!!! Good luck

I can really feel from where you are coming? I went through the same experience. I have two sisters in law just as urs we v the same age I started the same way( friendly-loving-caring...

You don't need to be the bigger person you need to think about your well-being.you come first. CUT with them .As for your daughter try your best to fill the gaps( don't give them the chance to replace you)this has serious results in futur!!!! Good luck