This Could Be Quite Long!

I typed in 'my SIL hates me' and I can't believe how fortunate I am to have found you guys.  I don't feel so alone anymore.  Now for my rant.

My brother and I had a very turbulent childood, constantly moving, changing many schools and all the other blurb.  Our father suffered severe depression which ended in his sudden suicide when we were 14 and 11. 

Moving forward about fifteen years and both of us were at uni and college.  He had a lovely girlfriend for seven years and we liked each other a lot.   Sadly that ended and he met C.  C comes from a very priveledged family and had a supreme education.  At first we got on OK while we got to know each other but after building a very expensive self-sustaining, environmentally friendly home in the bush and two children later she had become a b****.  At every opportunity she would disdain me.  She is contemptuous of my social circle (most of us are mentally ill).  She is  scathingly critical of my life on every level and her compliments are so backhanded its eroding my self-esteem.  She goes out of her way to prevent my brother and I to be alone together.  She is suspicious of my friends just because they are my friends.  When their daughter was born, she got vicious!!  It was as if she thought I was a potential risk to her little evolved feminist baby girl and I have to be VERY careful of what gifts I give to her.  Anything that suggests artificial femininity eg dolls, makeup jewellery is off limits.  C herself (and I am not being spiteful here) is not a very attractive woman and I know she resents my attractiveness.  Well I do make an effort.  C, on the other hand, deliberately dresses like a pig.  I call her style 'derelique' and her friends, sorry, contacts dress the same. 

She took total control of my 40th birthday by 'treating' me to a few days holiday, her shout of course since I am on a Disability Pension.  I am sure this was partly to belittle me.  During my 'holiday' I was bereft of  commercial TV, phone signal and boy did she embarass my brother and me by unfairly criticising the owner's bed and breakfast where we stayed.  She has such an inflated sense of entitlement that it makes me sick!  OK, good on her for being assertive but she is a patronizing, condescending pig.  I have never had a driving license, I am afraid to drive, and boy does she get off on reminding me of that so-called flaw in my character. 

After being with this monster for fifteen years, my brother has lost his backbone and assertiveness.  If I was in his position, I would tell her to get lost but he is bound by her money and the kids.  He has nothing of his own and if they ever split up the effect on my brother would be incurably devastating. 

It has got to the stage where I fell I need to just cease contact with my brother because she is  so nasty.  I stopped contact with my mother three years ago because she is so poisonous (who the h*** shoves her 41 yo daughter in front of people).  That is another long story. 

OK, I am not an angel.  A week ago my bro tried to sneak in some sister-time with me, leaving me waiting at home all day and he didn't show up.  It happens with alarming frequency.  On this occasion I ended up getting drunk and made a couple of prank calls at 2 o'clock in the morning.  I did not remember doing it at the time but was angrily reminded the next day. 

This sounds sick, but sometimes I wonder if thinks my brother and I are having an affair!  The whole situation has eroded my self-esteem and until recently I was constantly seeking her approval.  I hate her. She is a fascist and my brother has become the same.  I call it Stockholm Syndrome.
imissmybrother imissmybrother
41-45, F
2 Responses Jul 24, 2010

In recent months I have found out that they are splitting up. I can't help but feel relieved for both my brother and myself. It is devastating for him and he is having a hard time. It has reminded him that he is gullible and needs to grow a backbone. I tried to hard to be supportive and I have been told to back off. I have.

man, I feel for you and your brother...