My Husband And Sil Had An Emotional Affair

The emotional affair began in June this year.  My brother and  SIL separated three years ago.  My son and nephew are close and there is only a three months age gap between them.
 During the summer my husband spent most of his free time at the park with our son - whilst i was at work and imagine that - she was always there too with my nephew!!

I never questioned it at first - but when she began flirting with him in front of me and they two walked ahead , i began to feel uneasy and curious.
He denied any feelings for her.  We could not go anywhere with kids without her coming too.  They were spending all free time together and used the two kids to meet up.

I found e-mails and text messages they both sent each other and my husband could not denie this.

I cried all night and told him to phone her while i was there to tell her to break contact with each other.  I now check all his mail and phone.  But I still feel untrusting towards him.

He did tell me that what he did was wrong but it all meant nothing and it was an escape route for him as i was not fully committed to him.

I have had a drink problem for a number of years - although i am sober 6months now.  I know that i was horrible to be around and hurt him and my son loads of times -  he needed someone to talk to and laugh with again.  I know nothing physical happened, but he did fantazise about her and told her he missed her and could not wait to be near her and spend time together.  

I feel so betrayed and  hurt we have been together 17 years and married thirteen.

Can anyone advise.  I do love him and want to move on as he wants to have a future with each other and says he is deeply sorry for all the hurt and pain he has put me through


jetson123 jetson123
41-45, F
1 Response Dec 26, 2010

It isn't going to work without a lot of counseling and actually rebuilding the relationship. Sounds like you 're up to bat and hold the decision in your hands.