Earth is calling my SILHere we go - a short story of complete lack of understanding, someone who speak before she thinks, someone who doesn't understand responsibilities and how caring and giving people around my SIL actually are without her being grateful.
My SIL 34 and still lives at home with her mom and is pretty much dependent on her mother's financial support. Instead of being grateful for her mother's support and hospitality, she complains and makes fun of her. She has close to 85.000 dollar student debt. One day she came home crying after a meeting with her bank. The bank wanted its money back or at least have her make a plan for returning her loan - somehow that came as a surprise to her! So far, she has never had a full-time job and all the responsibilities that comes along with a job (I repeat 34 years old!). I like to believe that people should show a sense of responsibility and have the ability to make tough decisions that are good for them in the long run - such as paying off your debt and show other people and yourself that your life is going in a certain direction. Now, she is of course complaining how hard it is for her to find a job... She basically has no resume or job experience to fall back on (and guess who gets to hear her complaining about this!)
What is also frustrating is my wife's reaction when I express my frustrations. My wife easily gets defensive and takes my SIL's side. I think my wife is being waaay to nice to my SIL. I do and don't understand my wife's unconditional love for her sister. I usually evaluate people for who they are and what values they have instead of being "blinded" by a "title" like a sister, brother etc. If a person acts like an idiot, I don't care what or who they are - a title should never be enough to defend them or justify their actions.
One of my SIL's boyfriends/FWB or whatever he is recently decided to break up with her. She has been with him for about three years. From the beginning on the agreement was that their relationship was "just for fun, no strings attached, it ends when it ends etc". Well well well, the BF/FWB suddenly decided to end it (good for him) and she is now devastated... I want to give her a kind reminder that she set up relationship ba
Recently I've listened to her rant about the break up and how hard it's been on her. One thing that stands out in all her explanations is that: "it can't have anything to do with me, I didn't do anything wrong, I don't need to change the way I am, he is immature etc". I have never seen a relationship where one part (she) is so dominating and the other part (he) gladly accepts the situation. She has never mentioned the fact that it could perhaps have something to do with her. She is pushing all the blame on the ex BF/FWB and goes through all her memories of their relationship with a constant statement of "it's his fault". It is highly amusing to listen to her because of her complete lack of understanding and failure to make the right conclusions.