In Laws

I graduated on Sunday and It was not the experience that I expected. Since September of 2009 I had been attending college taking the classes that were required for the AA degree in business. It was pretty tough, there were nights that I thought that I would not make it. I felt physical pain at times and teaching myself how to learn was no easy task. I remember sitting in the parking lot of the school my first day and starting a journal. That day I remember writing something to the effect that my significant other was not very supportive. I think we had another disagreement, which have been plenty in the time it has taken me to get the degree and the seven and half years that we have spent together. There have been times when he has said that my getting a degree is for me and not him. Like most woman I reassured him that it was for us as a family because I felt like this was just a normal insecurity that people can have in a marriage. Our relationship has been filled with so much conflict it is a wonder how we ended up bringing two beautiful children in the world.
I have had so much conflict with his mother and sisters that all the xanax in the world would not take the edge off. While I have some responsibility in the matter I do not and will not accept it all. I am a very analytical person and what I have observed over my life is that most in-laws have conflict. What I have accessed is that woman in general can be pretty caddy. When you are the new girl on the block it’s like coming into a hen house and having to fight for your place. The only way most woman coming into a mother in law coupled with a sister in law situation is to allow and take the abuse or Not. I have always chosen the latter. Its kind of a sick twisted behavior that is displayed by the mother in law and sister in laws toward the son and brothers wife. It’s a strong jealousy that many times the husband is oblivious to.
When I was in college I read poems by Sylvia Plath. She was an American poet, novelist and she wrote short stories. She was the first poet to receive a Pulitzer prize after death. Her works sometimes sound morbid and provoke the mind into deep thought because you’re trying to figure out what she is trying to say. You almost try to get into her mind to see what’s going on in it. Ultimately, she committed suicide and her legacy lives on. So what does she have to do with all of this, well in one of her interviews she talks about the “Electra Complex”, which is a girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. It sounds sick but it makes sense because many times girls are “Daddy’s Little Girl”. It’s a really interesting concept you should take some time to read on this. I will give my thoughts in more detail in a future post.
So I am no psychologist but I am sure that there is something like that going on with the mother in law and sister in law dynamic. I think it is often fueled by the non-support we as the wife feel from our spouse. We feel misrepresented and alone, But as we can see from this page we are posting to we are not. Something obviously made us type in the words “I hate my sister in law” just to see what comes up. Well I am starting my own blog and I would like to share my personal life experience with many of you. You know the old saying “I wish I knew then what I know now”. I would like to share what I know now to perhaps help you from saying that.
elektracomplex1936 elektracomplex1936
1 Response May 25, 2012

I am on the other side of this story. The woman who married my brother has abused me to the point where I now have to almost cut ties with my dear brother. I have put off taking this action since this obviously will also affect all family members. It is ridiculous how she is behaving since the family has put her on a pedistal for the past 30 years. I am frustrated because now the family, even though they are slowly catching on, do not fully understand who she is. I will give the example of not the most recent thing but the most awful thing she did to me. At 58, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. At the time, my unemployment had just run out along with my savings and I was on the verge of taking a new job as property manager. This experience left me helpless with no money and having to undergo extensive chemo. I became homeless, lost everything and had to move in with my brother and sister-in-law for 3 months. During the time I was undergoing treatment and very ill, she kicked me out 4 times and to screamed at me and told me I would not be living there except for the fact that if they put me in a box and lowered me in the ground (her exact words) she would feel guilty. P.S. my brother who was 72 at the time was crying. This is just an example.