Loss Of Patience

I've been with my fiancé for 4 years. We have no problems in our relationship unless his sister, her husband, and children are in the picture. I have no one to share these feelings with and so I'm hoping writing this will be therapeutic.

I used to be close to his sister. In fact we were close before I got together with my fiancé. As I spent more time with him, I obviously was spending more time with his sister. As the years continued, I realized how needy his sister and her husband are. It's my fault for letting her and her husband take advantage of me but as far as my fiancé, I feel I have no say about it when it happens. The realization first occurred when his sister continually was bumming cigs from me. Initially I didn't have a problem, but after 2 years, come on! Since then I've been so observant with her actions as well as her husband. Btw, his sister, her husband, and two kids have been living with his mother for at least 10 years. They moved in with her mother when she had her 2nd child. She hasn't worked since and went back to school. Her husband works for a cable company, which is fine, but he doesn't even financially contribute to the household besides paying for the cable, which he has a significant discount for considering he does work for the company.
Before my fiance's first major fight, her husband would constantly borrow money from my fiancé. I have nothing against financially "helping" out a family member, but when you are lending hundreds of dollars at least 6 times a year because the person you are lending it to can't pay bills or afford an airline ticket to visit extended family/friends constantly I have a problem. I really don't like my fiance's husband. He's pretty much a loser in my eyes. He doesn't help pay rent and he doesn't even buy a sac of rice. My fiance's mother is a teacher assistant and has been widowed for almost 2 years now. She doesn't make much and refuses to move to an apartment for herself because she feels obligated to provide housing for her daughter, her daughter's working husband, and 2 grandchildren.
Gosh I can go on and on about how much I hate him.

Ok, this is getting long so let me cut to the chase. I've noticed that every time I'm nice to my fiance's sister she automatically thinks everything is ALL GOOD and it's ok to ask for every help she needs. It ticks me off every time she does that. Whenever we help her out she freaking continues to ask for help 1000 times more. Whenever we lend her things she needs she returns them destroyed/missing parts. She has no respect for our property. Her husband calls me a gold digger when in fact I own property that I rent out and make enough to financially contribute to my fiance's and it's household unlike him.
Anyway, I get so pissed off when I see my fiancé say hi to them. My fiancé and I presently haven't talked to each other for 3 days because of it. I ally don't want him to have anything to do with them until they realize how freaking disrespectful they are to my fiancé and I.

Side note: my fiancé always takes his sister and brother in law's side whenever we fight about them. He has never showed me any support when it comes to them.

I don't know what to do. At this point I'm having second thoughts about marrying my fiancé. However, if I back out on the wedding, I feel his sister is going to win. I hate this feeling.
Luvmychild Luvmychild
31-35
1 Response Sep 7, 2012

There is no win/win here.....YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION BEFORE YOUR LIFE BECOMES LIKE A HOUSE ARREST SITUAITON WITH MORONS!!!<br />
I would go on my way here.....and as far as SHE THE SISTER ahole is concerned she won't win you will for doing what is best for YOURSELF....<br />
<br />
Don't live in a situation where you want to win at the deal it does't work you only ask <br />
for a life of discontent that way GOOD LUCK<br />
<br />
Aradia11