And The Toxic Situation With My Sil Is Done!

After Almost 5 years of getting hot and cold signals from SIL, things finally came to a head.
She did not like something my husband posted on his facebook wall, didn't like some of
the replies to it, so she replied and said somethings to both he and I, and afterwards, she
tried calling him and texting him. He is not the sort that is going to talk to you when he knows he is going to get bitched out, so he avoided her.

I had my MIL calling crying because SIL was going ballistic. I told my husband just talk to her please, end this BS. And he had some text convo with her that didn't go her way. I guess, from what he told me, because I didn't see the convo, that he wanted to have a convo between all of us since she was mad at the two of us. She didn't want to and then just spewed some crazy hatred about me. He left it at that and she went mute.

Then she took us off her FB. Seems to not be official these days unless you are unfriended on FB, by the way (lol) and a month goes by, and my MIL calls and says she's in the ER for something. My hubby calls her husband and gets the scoop. And then the SIL texts him and berates him for not calling HER in the hospital. Okay, fine.

So, then around Thanksgiving, we both try to talk to her again, it's really stupid the way she's acting, really 'grown' up, right? And she doesn't respond to us at all. Fine. I left it alone, told my hubby it's your sister, you do what you want to do. Call her whatever.

And then the Christmas holidays come around. Hubby is moping, sighing, etc...about missing his sister. And my MIL is moping sighing and scared that her children are going to forever not speak. Okay, so since I'm apparently the catalyst of all of this, my SIL always blames me for everything, I sent her a message about mending fences and talking again because her brother loves her.

And got massive hate in return. I mean the crazy things this ***** said to me were amazing! I truly think she is unstable!

1. I keep my hubby away from his family. Nope. our military life does that.
2. I make him spend more time with my family than his family. Nope. We have visited them both ONE time as a couple and then he and one of our sons have been back to his family several times since. More than my family. Nope. Not true.
3. I don't let him talk to her. I don't let him talk to family. I am 'offing' them from his life one by one. Uhhhhhh, we talk to his family. Alot. The only person that we don't talk to, because SHE chose to ignore US is my SIL. Get your facts straight sista.

And her finale was to tell me I messed with the wrong ***** this time. That she is the ONLY PERSON that has EVER been there for him his entire life. Wrong. She has NOT been there for him his entire life. In the 5 years I've been with him, I haven't seen her be there for him. Nope. It's the other way around. Anytime she needs someone to cry to, because her husband and her family don't listen anymore, she calls him. And if he's unavailable, she calls ME. WTH?

I told her that she is jealous. Period dot. I'm the first wife in his life. His ex GFs from his 20s were girlfriends that didn't last. And she was fine with them, because they were temporary. I'm a wife that he has built a life with. He doesn't NEED to call her for every ache and pain anymore, that's what his wife is there for. He doesn't NEED to tell her first, he tells his wife first. Etc... You know, the NORMAL things that married couples do? SIGH.

There was alot more that she said. And a lot of spite that was spewed about me focusing more on my family (my father is terminally ill) than her family. AKA HER, not the rest of the inlaws, they are sooooo supportive of my family. NOT HER. Nope.

Afterwards, I told my husband, look she doesn't want ME in HER life. She only wants you and the kids. Well, she causes drama in front of children, her kids know all about this **** and mine do not for a reason. SHE told her kids that thier uncle did her wrong and they aren't allowed to speak to him and a bunch of bullshit.

I set some boundaries. She can't talk to her nephews for now. She can't pick and choose who she talks to in my family. My kids, I'm protecting them from HER. Nope. She can't have my kids when she's acting like this. She owes me an apology before I even consider letting her talk to my sons. Not that it matters anyways, I can't recall the last time she bothered to contact us and just wanted to talk to the boys. She's like that. Do as I say, not as I do. My sons don't even ask about her, because she doesn't bother to maintain a relationship with them.

I told him, he is good to go with talking to her and such. That's his sister, his relationship with her. I would definitely appreciate it if he did not talk about ME with her, not even how I'm doing.

And so far, I could not tell you if they have spoken at all. I no longer ask him, he no longer says her name to me. And quite frankly, I'm over her.

At the end of the day, siblings should NEVER assume that their brother/sister is going to live their lives the way you need them to. They will NEVER put you above their spouses and their kids. Family doesn't do that. And Family doesn't ask that of people. Normal ones anyways.

What is creepy about her is that she talks for her entire family! And it's really sad because she hasn't bothered much with us, so she doesn't know what's going on in our lives, who we talk to, who we don't. And just assumes it's EVERYONE.

Even her parents are sick of her BS. I wish her well in getting control of her life. Because I do know she's got alot of issues that are NOT related to this ****. Sad bitter cow.

anonsmom anonsmom
1 Response Jan 9, 2013

its like looking into a crystal ball and seeing what i know for a fact is my future...

Learn from my mistakes honey. Never disregard your gut feelings. Never let down your guard until you are darn sure that your wariness has no bearing.

Sadly, this was the last family member of my husband's that I'd EVER thought would turn out to be like this. In fact, I've NEVER had to deal with such a cruel, catty woman in my life!

Best defense is to watch and not respond when the claws come out. That is the only thing I didn't do in all of this. Had I just not defended myself to this crazy *** woman a long time ago, I'm certain that it would not have gone on as long as it did with her sneaky hate campaign.

There is truly some merit into letting your hubby deal with them in his own way. My husband never said anything to her. He's not the sort that gets into conflicts with people. However, his silence is his way of saying STOP. I'm NOT allowing you to do this in my life! I am NOT going to talk to you until you STOP!

And it's eating her alive right now. She's used every guilt tripping thing she can think of to toss at my husband to get him on the phone, so that she can 'resolve' this AKA talk mad **** about his wife and make him mad at me.

And it's not working. He's not budging. And he hasn't even uttered a word to her.