Sil's Coming To The Table A Little Late...

My husband and I have been together for 26 years, married for 19. His dad has a 2nd (and 3rd but that's another story) family with 2 daughters. They are in their early 20's. They did not participate or try to be part of our lives until about 2 years ago. We made efforts over the years, but to no avail. Now all of sudden they want to be in our lives. They live 2 and 3 hours away, so when they decided to re-insert themselves into our lives I opened my home to them and did what I could to make them feel welcome and comfortable. However, I got vibes from the beginning that they were only there for my husband. Their true colors began to show Dec 08. I turned 40 and my  husband planned a trip away for the 2 of us. It happened to be the same weekend as one of their college graduations. Our plans were made well in advance and could not be changed. She was MAD! Then tried to get him to skip my family birthday party to visit her and her friends to "get drunk" in her words. Uh, OK! Then, they send a nasty voice mail to my husband's phone telling him what a ***** I am and that he should just come to their town and forget about me. (Mind you we have 2 beautiful children and are quite happy!) One SIL comes to visit (against my wishes) in May then and is hanging on my son so tightly that people thought she was his girlfriend! YUCK! Next, they all come to watch my duaghter perform in summer children's theater and late that night hear them cornering my husband and telling him that he should leave me! WTH! They didn't think I was a happy person. I am sure I didn't seem happy. I was trying to "make nice" after all the other crap! I confronted them and told them they would not be welcome in my house ever again. Maybe one day they would find someone and I hoped they never had to deal with SIL's the likes of them. Husband agrees but is such a nice guy he's now feeling guilty and wants to let them come visit the kids. (We didn't tell them anything that went on.) I really get the feeling that one of them would gladly take me out and take my place right next to my husband and raise my children as her own. She has REAL issues about boundaries and what is acceptable. My husband doesn't see it. Is it because I am a woman?  Do I dare allow them back in my home? I even feel like that is a stupid question!

hgall hgall
41-45, F
2 Responses Feb 11, 2010

I agree!! Whole heartedly!

There is a well known sense that goes beyond the 5 we usually talk is called womans intuition. At the moment it is screaming at you in its loudest voice to put as much distance (and any other barrier you can find) between your family and these snakes that you affectionately call SIL's. Now if for some reason you are having difficulty putting your faith in such a subtle sense, there is another one that you can fall back on. It is known as a the 7th sense. It is a little more rare these days but valid none the less. You seem to have it in spades. Yes I am reffering to COMMON SENSE!!! Why on earth would you let any woman, let alone two, that are actively interfering in your marriage, BACK into your home? Your husband needs to tighten his belt and wade out the waves my dear before these two vipers turn there vemonous words to your children next and try to dislodge them from your affections! This is not a small issue....Fight dirty if you have to. X this enemy from your sanctuary in no uncertain terms!