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My sister in law doesn't like me

Before you read this, I know the group name is "I Hate My Sister in Law" but I do not hate her at all, this is about how she hates me.

My sister in law hates me because I am a nice and happy person!  She also doesn't like that I talk too much.  I have known for a while that she hates me, but recently I found out how much she hates me.  It is ridiculous to hate someone for smiling and talking too much.  I don't do anything bad and I do lots of good things for people - Many people have told me that I am one of the nicest people that they ever met.  This all started when I got engaged to her brother (she's older, so now I think it pissed her off that she did not get married first.)  She's been mean to me for a few years now, and I am still super nice to her.  I have done so much for her, it is unbelievable.  The first huge fight that I had with my husband was because she was treating me like crap - he thought it was in my head at that time.  Now he agrees with me and believes me - ever since then, he started paying attention to how she treats me.  The sad thing is that I am the only person in her life that she treats this badly.  I still wish for her to be happy and do not understand how she could wish so much hurt and sadness for me.  I recently found out how much she hates me and it hurt me so bad that my stomach hurt for several days from the stress and then I got sick since my immune system was down from all of the stress.  Several people have told me that she is jealous of me (for several reasons - getting married first and doing very well in my life.)  Her parents know she hates me and have tried working with her to not hate me.  She has improved in front of them, but now she is secretly mean to me (so that they do not know she is being mean to me anymore since I talked to her folks about the issue.)  I have put up with so much - she literally ignored me like I was not even in the room (would not look at me) for almost a month, she excludes me from any gatherings that she can, she is nicer to strangers than to me, and to top it all off she is close friends with someone that had done horrible things to a child - who is awaiting trial for the death penalty.  She literally hates me because I talk too much - since when is that a worse thing than what her friend did?  The worst part, I still wish her health and happiness even though she probably wishes I would die or divorce her brother.  I also still want her to like me and not hate me anymore.  This website is a true blessing, I can finally vent with people going through the same thing.

For more background:  I have never ever done anything mean to her and have not put her down like she does me and my family.  I have done so many good things for her and I was so stupid because I thought she was actually starting to like me again - wrong, my husband was right to tell me to stop hanging out with her because she was only using me.  I have also been trying to talk as little about myself as possible in front of her and have let her go on and on about herself - but I still notice that she gets mad if I bring up how my day was or how things have been in my life.  She is rude and and most people think it is cute because "that's just her personality."  Ugh, it's sad to know that being nice to somebody can make them hate you.  What is wrong with this world?

nicefriendly nicefriendly 22-25, F 84 Responses Mar 16, 2010

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I am the same as you too.. to be honest I wouldn't know what to do either. I'm nice respectful and everything my Sil want whatever clothes or shoes I get it for them and yet after all I was called a ***** and being teased of how stupid I am. Being this nice and no respect back. Each time my Sil goes somewhere they told me to babysit yet I do but when it comes to me he'll no take your kids they super naughty **** this **** that.. I've put up with this and done being nice.. I hate the fact that my husband Nv backs me up and always on their sides. I wanted a divorce with him but how can I when I have no parents to run too... Im just so sad that I have no one to be on my side but to cry every night and pretend to laugh during the day.. I am confused too if someone can help me understand myself it will be great tooo

Honey, my SIL has not liked me for 43 years. She is so horrible to me I refuse to be around her. BE YOURSELF. TALK ALL YOU WANT. I have had people tell me I talk too much. Well, they walked in a door where I was talking. They know how to walk out. They get one chance with me. After that, I avoid, avoid, avoid, :)

I can completely relate. More then you could even imagine... Down to the stomach aches and not being able to sleep. I'm learning to accept it and it is very difficult.

good luck!

Hi I don't mean to be hurtful but after reading that I don't know how much I'd like you if I had to listen to you often. I'm sorry it's great that you're happy but being around someone who talks too much can be very annoying. I think that approaching her and telling her how you feel can help. I don't think she hates you, sounds like you annoy her and she is rude to you because of it. Maybe if you guys talk you can figure out what bothers her about you and you can tell her what she does that bothers you and you both can work at not doing those things. Just start conversation with how you want to have a better relationship with her and you'd like to talk about it. Keep tone of voice low and don't lose your cool so not too much finger pointing and getting defensive. Good luck!

With respect, I woud not change who I am so YOU woud like me.

Hello, I can relate to you. I know this is an old post, but just last night, I made my fiance of 5 years confront her. I can no longer tolerate her behavior. My sister-in-law confirmed that she just never liked me from day 1. She said she will never look my way, she will never associate herself with me. I want to just want to make things less uncomfortable, and resolve this issue. There is no issue. I feel she is either 1) Racist or 2) Jealous because I am also always smiling and happy, but I somehow let her take that away from me.

She didn't like you from day one so she never gave you a chance or got to know you. If you making her brother happy isn't good enough reason for her to at the least be respectful toward you then she isn't a great person. You have done nothing wrong and shouldn't let her take away your smile. I say keep smiling and don't let her think for a second that her attitude affects yours. Be friendly and yourself, kill her with kindness but don't kiss her ***.

Oh and please don't let her come between you and your bf. confront her yourself or don't tell him at all if it's started arguments between the two of you plus when you have him talk to her its as if your trying to put them against each other and this makes her not like you more.

Oh and I have to say every time I say something she switches it around in her head..what I said and that's not the way I meant it!

Me and my husband been married for almost 8 years and he sister does not like me..I did not do anything too her..I am nice too her too me it seems she's jealous and just rude..and she makes fun of me.. I ignore her and act like she's not getting to me..but she really is..I'm trying not to give her the satisfaction..I think djrd jealous of our marriage.. But my husband and I aren't going too let no one come between our marriage not even his b**** sister.. I can tell her a lot of mean and rude things that are true about her but I don't! Me and her brother are happy and successful. That's why I think she acts this way she loves to put me down.. It hurts me but I try not to let it get to me...but its hard,because I just want to slap the crap out of her..ugh! I hat my sister in-law! What should I do!?

You need to live and not make her a part of your conscious life. In other words, life is about creating boundaries that you keep the good ones in and the ones that hurt you out. Be cordial when you have to be around her but not overly friendly. Stop complaining to your husband and his family about the treatment since she is thriving on the negative attention you are getting. Remember you are not alone and many women have these issues especially with the in laws and sister in laws especially when they are your husbands sister.. Stay as far as you can from her when you have to be in her company because you cannot change who she is . Good

I hate my sister in law and am happy to say so. She is a manipulative ***** who won't let me see her son. I truly haven't done anything to warrant her nastiness she just likes to keep her son to herself. She won't let my Mum come and see him either and my Dad goes around there and does up her house and does all this work for him and she never goes to see him or do anything for him. She is sitting pretty with a house that my brother has bought pretty much and she has the whole family on strings like puppets. When I ask if I can come and see her she says "Oh yes I'll let you know, I'm really busy." She has no job and takes her son to events twice a week so I'm not sure what makes her so busy? She only lets her family have anything to do with her son and has completely stone walled us. She's also really cold with my partner and he is really angry with us. I feel like he's taking his anger out on us because she is so cold. I've never seen them hold hands, hug or show any live to each other. God I really do hate her. I just want a relationship with my beautiful nephew and she just won't give me a chance even though she lives five minutes away from my house. She even walks down my street and never comes to visit me. It hurts a lot!

I mean her partner.. her partner... my brother. I am happy she doesn't show my partner any affection.

They are just so sick... Mine hates me even when I have an arranged marriage wid my husband... She comes every week to my house... the day she comes and two days after my in laws dont speak wid me. She also does this to her brother. She is responsible for his breaking his affair just to get her done. (The ex was a real nice girl) . That is her personality ... saddist.. She loves to screw other people's lives...Now i just ignore her whenever she comes. Even after 5 years of my marriage she does not leave a single chance to make my husband go against me. Its just that he knows how selfish she is.... How bad can one be , so that your own brother hates you?

i am in a deep ****. i dont know what to do . my sister in law is separated from her husband and presently living with us . she is making my life hell.i tried helping her reconcile with her husband. but now she said to my husband that i am conspiring against her . she tried to hit me and i stopped her that made her more furious.my husband also started shouting at me. i hate her the most in this world. plz guys tell me what to do

I can so relate to you except that i have 2 sils that hate me for no reason at all and the worst part is, one lives with me and my husband because she is divorced. They also blame me for the divorce saying i performed witchcraft on my sils marriage which is ridiculous and hurts me every time i think about it. Dont they realise i am the one suffering from her divorce more than her because she lives with me now and taunts me and meddles in my life every chance she gets. Sometimes i wish i never married my husband just so i didnt have to put up with his sisters. You are not alone dear.

Omg the entire time I was reading this i was thinking that I write this Lol this is exactly what I'm going through with my sister in law. I have no clue why she hate me and I don't know what to do. I been married to her brother for 7 years now and she still doesn't like me. Do u have any suggestions please help

I have been married 7 years too.Dun worry , ur fate is in God's hand not hers.I think its their insecurities...they are afraid you take their brother totally and they might loose connection.

Your sister in law is overstepping your personal boundaries.
Do not allow her to treat you like this do not engage her or give her any more of your time and effort. I no longer have any contact with my SIL who I refer to as the BEAST FROM HELL. She is no longer considered a part of our family. Families are like FUDGE some are sweet and some are just full of nuts!

Yup both my sis in law are from hell...same genes ... same mental sickness.told them of one by the phone...the other one to two(sil and her hen pecked hubby who actually suggested hubby and me divorce).They love to hurt me while my hubby is away...hoping I would turn to my husband later to talk about them .Then those women would deny and cause hubby to think I am lying.This was what their parents did to me.I would never trust them.So I told them I was sick of their low life games and that I could tell them off by myself without my hubby's support. Now sils are angry cause they cannot tell hubby I told them of cause then hubby would ask what happened. ..they r not going to tell wat caused my anger since they have been playing the denying game...oooo "I#m the good sil and I wld never hurt your wife" game.

They can't actually say " Oh I rummage your wife's stuff and read personal letters and documents and Diploma with her transcript s" or "I did not do anything. ..your wife told me off out of the blue without a cause"So now they have to swallow the anger and cannot get it out of their system.

I challenged them to complain to hubby so its my turn to play the denying game.Of course, I am not going to do what they did and be them..not going to stood that low...just wanted them to see wat a low life they r.This happened last year September. ..they have not complained to my hubby I told them of, scared they might actually expose themselves.

My sis in law rummage through my lingerie, read my letters and documents...She also gives condescending remarks.

Oh no! she is invading your privacy which is horrible. I am sorry, if you don't live with her then please try to cut down her visits. Then if she asks about it let her know that she has no right to invade your privacy. I really feel for you, at least this doesn't happen with me.

My story is bit different, my step sis in law (who has not talked to me and my husband for the past 7 years, didn't congratulated us on my sons' birth) just forged my signatures on legal documents few months back. The signatures were accepted by the DMV, my father in law told me the same day (sort of in a proud voice how my step sis in law was able to forge my signatures, how smart is she). I was really upset but there was nothing I could do because if I had taken a legal action then my father in law would have to be involved, so I stayed quiet for the sake of my kids as they need their grandfather around them. Yes, the grandfather who refuses to celebrate his birthday, father's day, xmass day or any other holidays with us because he has to be around his ex and her daughter. He even forces his daughter (my husband's sister) to celebrate holidays with them saying they are his family. He tried forcing us as well but I refused because I can't stand his ex wife who has the habit of nagging and passing negative comments. Father in law's ex never liked my husband which is why she refused to attend my wedding. There a lot of things, I can keep going and make a huge list about it but I will stop here as I don't like to talk about them.

To make my life bit easier, I tried a new therapy to stay happy. I joined the gym, I spend some time there after work and burn off my negative energy before going home to my kids :)

I did tell her off.I wish there is no festive days so we dun have to get together.I am surrounded by sils.I am the only daughter and hubby is the only son.Luckily my brother's wife is nicer than hubby's sisters. She told me not to give them a reaction cause that's what they want
.Let them get frustrated instead. One of them said this is her younger brother's house and claimed that as an older sis she has the right.I ignored and tried to walk away but she kept stepping in my way until her husband come in to the room to know what happen. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT HER PARENTS WHO HAS BEEN IN THAT ROOM ALL ALONG lied FOR HER SO HER HUSBAND WON'T Scold her.This is the kind of games they love to play.Can you imagine if that was my husband who walked in instead of her husband.They tried making their parents move in with us to get more control over me but mil refused.My nicer sis in law(bro wife) said hubby sis will in turn give up and hopefully hubby will be impressed by my patience.Its not easy being sandwiched in the middle like him and men...they do have pride.They may not be able to see what is painful and choose to deny even though its there.As an Asian wife these are what we sometimes go through. Can't believe this is happening still in modern Sing....e city.

If I were you I rather not spend holidays or celebrate anything with them .Good riddance.Btw what you did is a good move to feel better.Just concentrate on your kids and work.At least you don't have to see them as often as other people in your position.

One of my sisters in law and l used to be close. But now she hates me because her daughter asked her why couldnt she be more like me? I am not the kind of person that act like lm better than anyone else.. lm a nice person and kinda quiet.. but l used to feel like l could have. fun around her and my other sister in law... that one l still get along with. But this sister in law now makes me feel awkward around other family members.. weird thing is.... her daughter used to never speak to me... but now she says hey how you doing in a way that is not sincere... l dont think her daughter really likes me either... lm not stupid... l miss the fun... but now l cant reach my oldest son unless l go around them... and the rest of them says that just her ways. She is verbally and physically abusive to everyone.. she has a substance abuse problem... which l do not... l never judge her.. now l stay away.. but l miss the. Other family members. Im lonely where l live.. l dont want to go where lm not wanted. But my son don't understand.

Let me just say that I totally understand the position of the main story here. She tries to be like able and is nice to her sister in law despite the fact that she is badly treated by her sister in law. I take exception with the commenter who suggests that by expecting the woman's sister in law to like her in return, that she is somehow not all that nice after all. That is just ridiculous.

The problem with in laws is that we don't get to choose them, they didn't choose us. Yet now we have to have a relationship with them due to the fact that a family member has married that person.
In my case I make an effort to be kind and considerate, like a normal human being I/we expect kindness in return for kindness. If a friend abuses our feelings in the way in-laws do, they would soon cease to be our friends. Having to endure subtle abuse and contempt from people whom we treat with kindness and generosity is stressful and causes pangs of distress, feelings of inadequacy, particularly around holidays when we are brought together with these individuals. It's almost like having a snotty snob from junior high school suddenly foisted into your family. You try to make friends with them, but at every opportunity they rebuff and demean you. For that reason I pretty much have given up on my brother and his petty and mean spirited wife.

My sister in law hates me too. My brother married her 30 years ago. I myself stayed home never married and took care of my parents, mostly my Mom who had many unfortunate ailments. My Mom passed away three years ago. I live alone, never bother them, I always buy nice gifts for each of them and their children, often spending a great deal on my sister in law, not to buy her affection, but to show her somehow that I do like her and want her to be happy. It never helps. Once several years ago I spent weeks making a stained glass lamp for her, stayed up days before Christmas to finish it in time. I eagerly waited to see her reaction, and was somewhat let down, it clearly wasn't to her liking. Nevertheless I always tried to get her a nice present for her birthday/Christmas. When my Mom and I went on a bus trip to Chicago, we asked her to come along.
Just recently she and her husband (my brother) went to Chicago on a shopping trip with their kids. I heard by accident that My Sister in law brought her brother and other sister in law. No one in my brother's family ever thinks to ask me along for even as much as a movie. They treated my Mom and Dad much the same way. I shouldn't be surprised.
My other brother says I try too hard, that it annoys her somehow. But if I don't pay her enough attention to her my brother will tell me that Chris (her name) felt ignored. I just can't win.

I miss my Mom and Dad. They, like I, tried hard to please this woman, we all failed. She just didn't want a relationship with them and doesn't want a relationship with me

Frankly The way they treat me if they totally forgot I was related to them, that would be fine with me, all they do is hurt my feelings, whenever I am around them.

I totally get that! I've been with my guy for 8yrs and my mans the youngest of his brother and sister. His sister is always rude and has tried several times to break us up. So one day I had enough and just stopped talking to her and when she would talk I would leave the room. Then she had their mother confront me and I told her look I only treat people how they treat me and if she has a problem with me she's a grown women and she can address it to me. Then a few days passed and I caught her alone at my inlaws house and I told her that we needed to have a talk. I could tell immediately that she was going to have an attitude so I began and ask her why she felt that it was right to have her mom confront me about an issue she was having with me and what's been the deal with her not liking me. She said she just didn't like the way I treat her brother or the way I look. I then told her that I don't judge her relationship with her guy or get involved and of her brother had a problem with me he wouldn't be with me and that this conversation wasn't to change her opinion of me but that she needs to respect me because my husband is her brother and my daughter is her niece and we are all a part of this family weather she likes it or not! So next time she has an issue with me for her not to say things about me behind my back or to try to be shady to me. If she wants to be respected and acknowledged than she well need to do the same bc it's a two way street! ....( So I would say just stand up for your self because no one else is going to do it for you and you don't deserve to feel like this all the time when you are now part of that family as well. So don't be afraid because ultimately if anything aggressive happens she well be seen for her true colors eventually! You can do it! 👍

At least she doesn't lie and twist the story around to make you look bad instead.

My sils love playing those kind of games.Do somethings then lie about it and leave you to argue with hubby. Cause seeing husband and wife arguing satisfies them.

Don't lose your dignity and self respect trying to make your SIL love and appreciate you, because they are just not capable of loving anyone but themselves!

My Sister in law is so stuck up... Its not even funny. My husband's family are crazy I could sit here all day long and you would be saying omg by the time I might be nearly finished lol. No lie. She never likes to talk to me and then when she tries I have to be a open dictionary with her and her husband ,then I start to stumble with my words and I have never done that with no body else. Then they look at one another and laugh and carry on with all of our problems or being stuck up. I stumble because all they do is mock and put us down. They are very rude and not nice to be around at all. They judge, mock, think they know everything, they think because they have money that they have right to treat us like dog poo. So year after year I have been playing with all of the children in the family because all of his family want to talk about non social topics. They have even gone as far to say that they are the chosen ones with out joking around and has told the world this too. No one in the world wants to talk about what they want to talk about every thing they are doing right and all your failures and how they can teach you because in their eyes you have made a mistake if you lost a job or if you can't afford catering at every family gathering. My husband and I live like the average american it kind of looks like the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond that's how we live and that's how we act too. The list is endless, I must say they are very sad to be around although we don't allow them to effect our life's because God did not part the red sea just for them. God did not say I am going to come back to earth just for them two and nobody else. They do not walk water nor do they dance on it as well. Although they act like God has done that for them. Yet they have all these nice things but the lady does not know how to cook to save her life and I have never ever said a word about that or how she treats people. We just go home and we get together with a bunch of friends that are like our family and just laugh about our crazy families. It is every time that my husband has a family gathering his family goes crazy.

She is a b#↑#h!

Wow I thought I had it bad.....my sister in law is so awkward towards me I've gotten to the point where its normal to ignore her. Recently I thought I should just apologize for any of my words towards her and make things better, so I did. It seemed to go well. I put together a girls night out with another sis in law and her sister and my awkward sister in law and again it was weird. Then next thing I know she's posting pics of a bday outing with my husbands brown n wife and her sister. Now she doesn't have to invite me, but the three brothers and there wives always go out and had for my bday. My feelings were hurt and was told it was a spur of the moment thing but then told my sis in laws sis was begged and dragged to go. Hmmmmm. Well so I say back to before. We see eachother 4 other times and awkward and ignoring again. Then she texts me we need to talk, really? I so want to be over this and move on, but she's always there!!!!!

Believe me my sister. In law is just like this to a t, she is a complete *****, she told my husband to divorce me when i was pregnant with our second child she is even worse than your sis in law and her family supports her coz she recently got divorced herself and moved in with us, I have been married for 7 years and she always hated me she was jealous because i had a good kind personality and everyone generally likes me whereas she doesn't have any friends because she hates everyone I literally gave her everything i had clothes, jewellery, but it didn't make her happy she even took my vitamins and when I said no to her she went ballistic, she tried to end my marriage 7 years ago, but it didn't work,then she got married afterword and it only lasted 5months, now she recently got married again and was still living at myhouse with her new hubby. but shes recently moved out but pops over whenever she wants coz she has my house keys!!!

Girl get those house keys back! Get the respect you deserve and if u don\'t want to ask for the keys back then just change the locks yourself and say yea door knobs were sucky! There\'s no need for her to have keys to your home! And shouldn\'t just be a giver the nicer you are to someone like that the more power they think they have over you. She needs to give respect to get it! Hope things get better for you.

My sils want us to divorce too.Ignore them.

Get your keys back

Ohhh she sounds almost exactly like mine! Only mine almost always ignores me and if I try to speak to her will not look at me. She doesn't speak to my husband either but thinks she can play with our 1 year old son. I feel for you and know exactly what you are going through- I don't understand why you need her to like you? I just want mine to act like a decent and normal human being- I don't care if she hates me cause I have given her no reason to be this way. Anyway- I will pray for us....

I agree with you . Actually it does not matter if they don't want to be related just dun go ard hurting.Just go good riddance.

i can TOTALLY relate. after the devastation of hurricane sandy at the jersey shore,my roomate, my fiance and i allowed his parents, 23 year old sister, dog and cat to stay with us until they the evacuation was over. lets not forget that we(my roomate, my fiance and i ) are renting in my rooomates fathers home its a 3 bedroom ranch. we decided to move our 9 month old in our room and give his parents the babies room, my sister in law we gave her own space in the living room downstairs. they came 10/29/12. 2 weeks later, their daughter TAKES my car without permission and crashes it, i was nice, i didnt press charges. her parents allowed her to leave 10 mins after she got back with my car to go out with her friends. she has been treating like crap calling me names being so disrespectful, rude, and not thankful that me my fiance and my roomate allowed them in our home while in time of need like they did for us. her parents dont say anything you her about the way she talks to me. she disgusting,we found dishes, clothes, garbage all over the downstairs basement and we also found out shes been using drugs, we tell her parents about it and they dont disapline her. i cant even look at her. she had the nerve to tell my roommate that he made them feel uncomfortable, he put a wedge in between them and their son, pas a piece of **** and he has done no good deed. my roommate has put up with her behavior, their parents lack of disapline and laziness for over 3 months. they were living their rent free and slopped themselves on the couch 21 out of the 24 hours of the day. they were very dirty in our house didnt care that we wanted our house clean. they all made us feel like we were living with them and had to listen to their rules.. it all came to an end they finally left and they made their son feel bad that our room mate made them feel uncomfortable, and they werent welcome. they dont seem to see the bigger part of it drugs- my sone is 9 months old he could have put that in his mouth,or my roomates father came over and saw it we would all be out on the street, its not our home- we are renting it from a friend whos father moved out, they are not on the lease. we bent over backwards for them to stay in our place my roomate said only 3 weeks they statyed for 3 months. and the fact that we all werent respected in our home hurts really bad.

This is only a short comment here it is I feel for you: )

Well I think the way you react to her, by staying friendly, proves how strong and kind you are. You do great, because she is just looking for a reaction from you, waiting till you break or become angry with her. Inside you probably are angry, but you still manage to stay calm. I admire that very much, you are showing you prove to be the better person. And if she would succeed in breaking you, or making you angry, then she would win and she would have a reason to make you bad to others. So this reaction is great, but be careful and don't let her get to you, keep getting support from your husband. So good thinking girl, thumbs up!

This is in reply to B3thany. Obviously b3thany didn't read the part that states "please respond with authenticity, support, and respect" underneath the box to post. Or she did and just ignored it. It also seems she is making up what she thinks the original poster is saying by assuming poster is oblivious to the world, when it was stated that she knows why SIL hates her. B3thany's entire post looks like an assumption. Wanting to be treated with respect does not make someone mean or not nice. But Bethany apparently thinks that a SIL who is close friends with someone facing trial for the death penalty for doing horrible things to a child is completely OK? Someone that did bad things to a kid and is facing death penalty obviously means the child was murdered. So does B3thany think that that is the more interesting person that SIL is allowed to be nice to versus a nice person? The original poster does not state that her SIL treats her with civility and the poster just wants to be treated better... where does it say she wants her SIL to go the extra mile? Also, the original poster states that other people tell her she is one of the nicest people... so without B3thany creating a fake background for the original poster to validate her rude post, we can assume that the original poster isn't making it up (the being nice part). I work in a field that deals with counseling and it does look like the original poster acted respectfully by trying to make SIL like her... trying to talk as little about yourself and focusing on what the other person says is actually something that many respected professionals recommend in all aspects of handling people in your life (I've read it in a book, read it in Cosmo and other similar magazines explaining how to make friends with women and in another article on how to get a guy to want to go out with you, even a business and psychology courses explain this technique for being an active listener.)

Do not ever be rude to someone's post on a support group site. It seems that B3thany is trolling and just trying to criticize others to please some messed up desire to tear down others. I've seen this with people who have experienced bad things (everyone should be aware of the Cycle of Abuse.) If this is some sort of way to force misery onto others, please seek professional help. It's not normal to attack people seeking comfort in a support group.

You think you are a nice person, and perhaps that is precisely why your s-i-l hates you. People who think and describe themselves as nice, friendly, warm and "don't understand why ANYONE in the world would hate them" can be very irritating to people who don't value those characteristics. Not saying your s-i-l is a great, moral specter but she has the right to not like you, to get along with other people who she finds interesting over you, and to just treat you within the simple bounds of civility. Just b/c you're a "nice" person who goes out -of-their-way for others doesn't mean she's obligated to do the same for you. The fact that you think she's obligated tells me that you aren't as nice as all that.

@B3thany You sound like the typical SIL that we all can\'t stand. The ones who think its ok to not like someone just for no reason. The kind of SIL that doesn\'t appreciate the fact that there new SIL is nice to them and is a good person! As to where they could be mean, rude and just plain ugly back! Treating someone disrespectfully because you feel you have that right is horrible. And shows that you have no morals or true value in yourself and obviously need to seek attention to boost your confidence by tearing other ppl down. Its not that you are obligated to like someone but if you are offending someone in your family or someone who is new to your family you should want to change that! For the importance of family being the ones who love you and who you can ultimately depend on. It\'s just dumb and immature to not like someone because you do care to.. And if your that SIL then you need to grow up!

I totally understand u. my SIL is a *****. i swear she is so mean and she drives me crazy every sec of the day. my husband and I have been married for 2 years now and we live with his family. His family has two big problems his mom and his sister. i totally hate them both they are so f*** b***. she doesnt miss a chance to make me feel miserable. all the other members of his family love me very much, especailly his g-ma and his dad. i think they are jelouse of me and the attention they give me. his sister always want to be the center of attention and when she feels like shi isnt being she starts being anoying and a big pain in the a***. im really peacefull person and i swear i never used to swear before, but this two are making me feel so miserable that i swear in my mind everytime they do something to me. i usually dont respond to them and let them look bad when they talk bad to me but sometimes i get so upset and i just feel like screaming/crying/wanting to run away. i used to be such a happy positive person and i used to wake up with a big smile in my face and make everyone around me happy as well. but her bad attitude and mood has affected my good humor. everytime i wake up she is around the house ,,,justa talking ****. she totally ruins my day before even starting it. her mom of course backs he up. i swear i feel like punch them in the face and tell them to shut those mouth up.
they always complain about the house works ,,,they never are good enough... well coming from someone who used to check other peoples garbidge for clothes is quite funny ,,,isnt it?? i think it ecause they still feel the dirt in thei skin. for gods sake ,,,,go and check the garbidge....people should have some dignity,,, i would rather die than go and do such a low gesture.
and now they talk to me about how clean they are, and how other people keep their houses. ohhh common.
---- another problem that i have with my SIL is the noise. aparently i make noise around the house for her. Welll you f****b*** if u sit down all day and watch tv of course u dont make noise cuz iam the one cleaning around. But when she wakes up in the morning even the neighbours know u r awake....she talks so laud, and slams the doors and everything she can making noise, cuz thats how she is ,,she is mad first thing in the morning.
----She is so mean to everyone, not just me. To her brother as well, but he lets it go most of the time and doesnt argue back. Which is a bad thing for me, because when she turns back at me I cant reply back cuz somehow she manages it for me to look bad.
---She calles me all kind of things,,,stupid, disrespectfull (cuz i dont get up and kiss her ugly face when she comes from work )and the last one she said to me was " Its so funny. how u told your husband u were sick last night, I wanted to laught but i hold it back" I was really feeling sick and she found it funny???!!!
----she just cant stand the fact im going to school and she isnt. She has been applying for years now to get into the school without wining. of course u cant win u *****...school needs a tough asss... u need to work you *** off like i doo, and not watch tv and get fat all day. Im doing so good in school that it ****** her and her mother off so much, i have school and a husband and i manage the house and im still a A+ honor student... TAKE THAT you idiot.

most of the time i let things go too ,like my husband and i try to put a smile in my face (which is really hard to do so,,,and i feel sick with myself for doing it) but sometimes i think why not give her back exactly wwhat she and her mother desrve. right now i dont have kids but preety soon i will, and im sure they will start picking up on them,,,and im sure i will not stand to that. if they ever say something to my kinds i will pack my bags and go back home.I left everything for him and came after him and agreed to live with his family because i have parents my self and i thought about the humanistic gesture but even though I care about my husband i cant stand living with them like this. i swear i cry everynight cuz of them. i wanted a happy life besides him not the hell im ling in right now.