I was always close to my brother when we were growing up. When we grew up and moved into our own lives, I lost contact with him for a few years. Then I signed up on Facebook and we found each other on there. We resumed right where we left off, comfortably bantering back and forth thanks to this great new medium. It was great, because both of us were moving around a lot and constantly changing addresses, phone numbers, emails, etc. We chatted on Facebook at least once a month, sometimes as much as once a week. There was never a bad word between us, and we always ended our chats with "I love you."

Then in the summer of 2012 my brother came home to visit. I decided to make the trip to my parents so my brother could meet my boys and we could all spend some quality time together. He had his computer out at one point and I pointed at his desktop background and asked, "Who is that?" It was a picture of a nearly naked, very pretty girl. He said it was his girlfriend.

"Girlfriend?" I asked. He had never mentioned a girl. Not to me. Not to our parents. He blew it off as no big deal. Then, just after he left he dropped a bombshell on our family. His girlfriend was pregnant and they were going to get married that fall. Holy moly! We hadn't even met this girl. We didn't even know her name until he called and dropped that news. A bit confused, but happy that he had found someone he was serious about, I was excited to learn that they would be visiting after their quick civil union and before they moved to Hawaii. My brother was very sparse in details when I asked about her on Facebook. I really wanted to get to know her and be able to welcome her into the family.

I wanted to meet her, but my brother said (despite my home being smack between the airport and our parents' home) that he didn't have time to stop. So my mom conspired with me to find herself at my place the day of his arrival and asked him to stop by to pick her up. He did, and I immediately ran up to him and his new wife for hugs and welcomed them. I was so excited! I also got to meet her son from a previous relationship, whom my brother was going to adopt as his own.

She wasn't nearly as bubbly as I had hoped. She was very reserved, and looked nervous. I got the impression that I made her uncomfortable, so I backed off pretty fast. My mom invited my family to spend a night with them so we could all be together as a family, and although I had reservations about impeding on my brothers time with her I accepted. I really wanted to spend some time with my brother before he left for Hawaii, and I was really excited to get to know my new sister-in-law.

That night was terrible. I was on my best behavior, and my boys made me proud they were so well-mannered. But this young girl that my brother brought into our family had me absolutely appalled. Her son was a total stinker, hitting my boys, spitting, biting, yelling "I hate you" at his mom, and he kept us up nearly the entire night screaming. My sister-in-law spent a lot of time on her fancy little phone doing who knows what, didn't care to correct her son when he did wrong, and became very upset every time one of us tried to intervene to help.

I took my boys and left first thing the next morning, without saying one bad thing to her. She added me on Facebook and I immediately saw that she posted multiple times a day about how naughty her son was and how amusing his bad behavior was and how people shouldn't judge her. My heart went out to her on the behavior thing. I knew what she was going through moving around with a small child, being pregnant and in a totally new family situation. I'd been there. So I wrote her a private message saying that I knew what she was going through and that if she ever needed someone to talk to or some resources I had some good contacts.

I logged in to Facebook the next day to find an all caps rant against me saying I was judging her and how dare I call her a bad mother. I freaked out. Had I actually said that?! I didn't remember it. So I read over my message again and again. I sent a copy to my husband (who was overseas at the time) and he said it looked fine, like I was just concerned and offering friendship. I was so confused! How did she get that from what I wrote? So I apologized. No response. I apologized again. Nothing. I poured my heart out, trying to explain what I meant. Nada.

Then I noticed that she publicly called my brother an ******* because he came home from work one day and wanted to *gasp* sit down and relax. I grew concerned when I realized that she had (at that point) over 2000 "friends" on Facebook, many that she shared with my brother. That was not a good message to send, especially when she had said nothing positive about him to balance it out. So I wrote my brother, asking if everything was okay and sending him a screenshot of his wife's mean status update. I got the silent treatment from him, too, but the next day his wife wrote a diatribe about tattletales and how people should mind their own business. Ugh.

She finally wrote me back, and it was all fakery. She said that I had a problem and should have talked to her instead of going to my brother. All I could think was "Why would I go to you first? I've known you for a few weeks. I've known and loved my brother his entire life." I told her I was concerned because she was smearing him in a very public manner, and asked her to please talk to my brother next time she had a problem with him instead of posting about it to 2000 complete strangers.

The next time I tried looking at their profiles, they had both unfriended me. Still no messages from my brother, so I decided to confront him about it first. He finally wrote back. Told me there was something wrong with me because Facebook isn't everything and that he didn't need this drama in his life. He then said that if I had really wanted him in my life I would have called or visited. I had tried, actually. I had left several voice mails for him in the past months, but he never got back to me via phone - he always got back to me on Facebook. And we had actually planned on visiting him in Hawaii after their baby was born, but these issues with him and his wife had made us rethink our plans. I apologized to him, even though I was pretty sure I hadn't done anything wrong to him, but I was starting to get upset with his wife at this point. Something seemed off, and I couldn't account for it other than maybe she was the reason for his behavior.

By Christmas, I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. His wife asked for space from me for both of them, and in my confusion I granted it. I sent them and her son gifts, but didn't even get to talk to them when they called my parents' house and we were over for dinner. Whatever. Maybe it hadn't been long enough.

A few weeks later, at the end of January 2013, my parents flew to Hawaii to see the new baby born and to visit with them. My mom called several times from their hotel room in tears because my sister-in-law was treating her so badly. She wouldn't let my mom hold her children. She was snarky and poked at every little thing my mom did as if she were itching for a fight. She accused my mom of abusing her son when she was taking a nap and my mom took it upon herself to give the boy a swat for hitting the baby. She invited her friends over for a party and loudly embarrassed my mom so that my mom felt compelled to get out of the house and take a walk and miss the rest of the party. My mom was so afraid to be alone in the same room with my sister-in-law that she asked my brother to be present at all times. Even my stoic dad told me that my sister-in-law was being unreasonable and mean, and it takes A LOT before he ever says anything.

So my parents get back and I visit and I hear even more that went on that they didn't talk about on the phone. I was so disgusted that my brother would allow anyone to treat our parents so ill that I decided to break the silence to my brother. I was seeing red. I shot off a string of angry messages to him telling him to step up and stop letting his wife hurt his family like this. Not one response. His last message to me had been the one where he said there was something wrong with me.

Then our mom attempted suicide. Yes, she had stress from other parts of her life that contributed, but I knew for a fact that she was also torn up about what had happened between them in Hawaii. When my mom regained consciousness in the hospital, the first thing she told me was that she had talked to my brother just before and she asked me to stop being so mean to him.

I agreed to placate her, then immediately fired off a message to my brother explaining what had happened and what our mom had said to me. I told him she was in a fragile state and to stop talking to her about me, that I was sitting here this entire time ready to talk with him and if he had anything to say I would be here to hear it. When I visited my mom in the hospital the next day she was bawling because my brother had just called and yelled at her. Yelled. At her. While she was recovering from attempted suicide. She begged me to drop whatever I had with him and to stop talking to him.

Wow. I told her I would cut him off. Obviously he had major issues going on and I wasn't getting through. I was only making him worse with my blind efforts to make him see the pain he was causing.

He and his wife blocked me. I blocked them in return for three days, then decided that I should leave that one avenue open in case he needed to contact me for some reason.

They both have left me on block. I'm still on block to this day. But I was so curious what his new baby looked like. I wanted to know that he was okay. So I created a fake account. Of course, his wife added my fake account no questions asked. I got to see pictures. I also got to see her saying mean things about me and our family. I took screenshots of everything bad I saw and saved them. I didn't know what I would do with them, but I hung onto them. I hung onto all 15 pages of emails that had passed between us on my main account, too. Why? Just in case.

Last Christmas, 2013, I sent them presents again. I sent my brother a wood puzzle because he had recently got into wood working and I figured he might be able to replicate the puzzle. I sent their kids sticker and activity books because what kids don't like stickers? And I sent my sister-in-law a self help book that I had read and thought she could use. In it I wrote that I hoped we could someday start over and be family, and that I hoped she got the help she needed. I also inserted a copy of a post from her I had made from my alt account, highlighting the mean, false things she said.

January of 2014, my parents received a box from my brother with over 500 pages of facebook messages that I had supposedly sent to my brother and his wife. The box also contained official looking documentation of a restraining order against me and a threat to cut my parents off if they tried to intervene between us at all.

While I agree that my alt account was a bit stalkerish, I never once threatened them. The worst names I had ever called her were "that monster you impregnated" once and "your drama llama baby mama" once. My parents were horrified and read through all 500 pages. I was honest with them. I told them I had been angry and yes, I had wrote in that anger telling my brother to knock off his drama and to leave our parents alone because our mom was fragile and couldn't take any more. But when I told them that there were only actually 15 pages and offered to show them straight from my mailbox, they blew it off and said they didn't need to see it. I've still not told our parents that the restraining order was a complete fabrication - I contacted the judiciary branches of my county AND theirs, and no records could be found of either my brother or his wife even seeking information on a restraining order.

I deleted the alt account as soon as my parents received the box of lies and haven't gone back. I kept thinking maybe someday my brother would wake up and see the mess his relations with that girl had caused, but I've lost hope.

I hate my sister-in-law. I've never said that about anyone, but there's no reconciling between us after all that has happened. She is a manipulative ***** who has turned my brother into a shameful wreck of a man. When I think of my brother, it is now in the past tense thanks to this girl. My brother is dead to me, and I hate her for it. My mom almost did die, and I hate my sister-in-law for it. My brother deserved better, and I hate her for taking away his chances at having a healthy relationship with his wife and family. If I actually believed in hell, I would wish her there with all my heart.

I hate my sister-in-law.
Baralinel Baralinel
31-35, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

Wow I would say ur talking about mine . My sister inlaw. Groomed me to be her personal maid I was 12 and thought she loved me she showered me with gifts and affection that I was not getting from my family how old was ur brother when they met