Hatred

I think that is how I would describe my feelings for my younger sister. Yeah, hatred.

It goes quite deep, to the pit of my stomach, where every time I see her, or hear her voice, I get angry. It started a year odd ago where she developed an eating disorder, and instead of sympathy that I would normally feel, I felt disgust. Now she is a bony, vain, self-obsessed brat and I hate it. To top it off she has befriended my ex best friend. I find myself imagining the two of them sat there, gossiping about me (things didn't end well with her) and it makes me hate them both even more. 

She finds it necessary to try and make me seem like the bad child and the *****. She tries to out-do me and turns everything into a competition. She is a spoiled cow who always gets her own way.

Maybe it's jealousy, maybe my view on her is clouded, or maybe she really is this person I am making her out to be. But we can't have a civilized conversation. Talking to each other always results in snide comments and catty retorts. It's driving me insane.

My mum dislikes her 'new friend' also. I completely abhor this girl, and for some reason I seem to think she is only friends with my sister to get back at me. Maybe it's a problem I have, that I always think anything the two of them are doing together is to get back at me, for instance my sister replacing me one the holiday together we had planned.

My sister has all this 'help' for her eating issues. And she ignores it. The food diary she makes up. The mood diary she makes up. All I think is "Why can't you tell the truth for ONCE!"

Every small trait of her annoys me. She is my polar opposite. Giggly and dramatic and pathetic most of the time. 

I'm struggling to list and describe the feelings. Detestation, maybe. I feel like ripping my hair out and screaming in her face. Shaking her hard until she changes. It's selfish I suppose, and childish, and completely inappropriate. But this hatred boils, and I think one day I will reach the end of my tether, leave, and never look back.
Candle123 Candle123
18-21
1 Response May 21, 2012

You know what. I feel hatred for my little sister too. <br />
I don't like talking to her. I can't stand being around. And every time I see her face, images of me punching her come to mind. She's just become someone I can't recognize and it's like, I'm thinking maybe that's just me looking at her the wrong way, but watching people around her, looking at my friends when they're around her, I realize that tey probably think the same things. When she tries to hang with my friends, they give off vibes of annoyance and disgust. And I don't blame them.<br />
Som people say Hate is a really strong word, but I would be lying if I said I didn't hate her. It's sad cuz we were friends through our childhood until she hit her teens. It's been several years now. And I can honestly say that I detest her.