Don't Move A Finger Or My Sister Will Tell You You're Stupid.Me: And then I said something funny and he laughed-
Sister: -You said something funny? Hah I doubt it.
Sister: Huhuhuh that's a good one. You're really not funny at all, okay?
Me: Maybe that's because I'm afraid to be myself around you. All you do is criticize me.
Sister: That's stupid.
I think I have pretty much always hated my sister. The only thing nice I can recall her doing ever in her life was doing my hair for an awards banquet. She is a shallow, self-centered, jerk of a person, and is one of the reasons I am an insecure, quiet, self harming 13 year old girl who cries herself to sleep every single night.
I am not mean to her. I have told her I love her (which is sometimes true but only for a few minutes) but she constantly analyzes and critiques me on what I do & say. My mom usually sides with her. (Of course, she's four years older so she must be right) and she and my brother have a good relationship.
I'm just so lost, hurting. She'll be off to college next year but all I can think is how long will I last before I break? I'm not in a good place and her constant criticism is too much for me. I've been told to ignore it but you can't ignore pain. It's not because her opinion matters to me, but moreso that something inside me keeps telling me she's right.